Sometimes not so much.
Monday was one of those times. I have been working some crazy hours where I work til midnight and then have to be back into work by 7am. Try 3 days of that in a row and it really starts getting to you.
It doesn't help that the hose in my kitchen sink faucet decided to break. So now, when you turn on the water, if the tear isn't facing the right direction, water will squirt everywhere. This isn't just annoying, but it apparently deters people, big and small, from rinsing and washing dishes.
Monday, I was exausted. Everyone needed me and I really didn't have anything left to give. Brian needed me to edit his paper that he was really stressed about. My kids needed a ride to piano lessons, Briggy was tired and needed a nap...well, first he had a poopy diaper and needed a change, then he needed a snack, then he needed to be held. Brody needed some attention because he was beginning to pick on Camden which made Camden need some protection and comfort. Everyone needed dinner. Homework needed to be done. The house needed at least
I needed a break but really didn't see it happening. In the end, a good cry was all I got. Oh, yeah, and the guilt that follows. I got that too. Have mentioned that I hate guilt? No? Well I hate guilt.
So who helps the needed? When we, as mothers, are needed so much, who takes care of us? We are naturally givers. If you are a mom, you give. You give up you body, your sleep, your hair color, sometimes your personal hygene, your free time, your cleanliness. For what? So that the people in our lives know we love them and are happy. So, again, I ask, who takes care of the needed?
I know that God can take care of us spiritually,emotionally, physically...in ALL aspects of our lives. . But sometimes...sometimes, I want to be waited on. Sometimes I want someone else to make dinner and then clean it up after. I want to sleep until I am not tired and not feel bad about it. (Curse you, Guilt!!) Sometimes I want someone to read ME a book and rub MY back.
I love being a mother and a wife. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I would give up ALL my sleep if it meant that my children would be happy and my husband satisfied with the life we have been given. I was just hoping that I wouldn't LITERALLY have to give it all up.
This is totally a downer post. Not meant to be, but isn't life like that sometimes? What do you do when one more need is just going to put you over the edge? I really would like to know.
4 comments:
I stopped by after my sister found you on UBP. I also have 5 kids, so I totally hear you about someone always needing you. . .there is just not enough of me to go around most days. This morning was a perfect example of this. . .and I lost it. So, I wish I had a golden nugget of advice to give you but all I can say is "hang onto Jesus's hand, sister". Look at Isaiah 40:11 sometime. It is one of my favorite mother verses. . .I think Jesus understands where we are at and wants to help us along!
Gabe
Love coming here. Your posts are simple, and direct.
THe color is the icing on the cake.
Thank you!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I totally understand about wanting someone to take care of you for just one day. My friends and I were just saying that we couldnt get sick bc who would take care of us???
hair color - haha! So true!!! I totally get what you mean though. I've been feeling pretty neglected myself lately. The other night I took a walk after my husband got home - all by myself - just for about ten minutes, but it helped to boost my mood. I need to do that more often.
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