From the mouth of babes...

I was pretty young when it happened for the first time. I don't remember much about the details because it was so long ago. But I do remember this:

"Why are they staring at me?

"Please tell me that she did NOT just tell me that I look like my FATHER did when he was my age. The nerve!

"Why are all these people touching me? And grabbing my hands?

"I know I am cute. I know I smell good. Please, people, leave me alone.

"I just want to sleep. Oh, and use the ladies room. Wait, I have a diaper so the ladies room is right here. Whew.

"I am also a little hungry. What can I suck on? No binky....no bottle...no mommy.... Oh, no. What can I put in my mouth?

"What is that thing down there. It looks like it would do the trick. Maybe if I could....just...grab...hold...Got it!

"Now, let's put that sucker into my mouth!"

And that was the first time I remember putting my foot into my mouth. I try not to do it anymore. Not only is it gross, but it just isn't appropriate.

My son, however, has no problem sticking his foot in his mouth. I saw him in the car the other day biting off his toenails. (Let's all say it together, 'Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!')

So I say to him, "Kobe, stop doing that. It is gross."

"How else am I supposed to cut my toenails?" he responds.

"Ummm...you know those things called toenail clippers. I think that is what they are for. And if you can't find those, fingernail clippers work too." I explain.

"I don't know how to use them and this is quicker." he answers, exasperated.

"You know Kobe. You walk around outside on the lawn without socks on, right?"

"Uh,huh."

"Well, can you tell me what Rufus does on the grass...several times a day."

Thinking, "He poops and he pees."

"Yup. And you walk on that same grass with your barefeet and then you put your foot into your mouth." I am watching his face through the rearview mirror at this point.

This is my germ-a-phobic son. His face wrinkles and he lets out a "Ewwwwwww. Gross."

Needless to say, that may have been the last time he stuck his foot in his mouth as well.

What? That isn't what was meant by Mama Kat's prompt. Ugh! Oh well. Remember, I am functioning with half a brain!