Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
The summer I made leather
Leather.
Such a wonderful invention.
I once tried to create my own leather. With my own skin.
It was the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. There was an all day 4-on-4 grass volleyball tournament that my friends and I were in.
So, being the naturally white girl that I am, I decided that it would be a great opportunity to get tan. To be in the sun for 8 hours. With the least amount of sunscreen. Applied only once. In the morning. Which I rinsed off with water. Because I was hot.
The end result?
The worst sunburn in the history of Stefanie Burns.
If I touched it, I felt sick. If I put anything cold on it, I felt sick. Rubbing Aloe Vera on it, I felt sick. Standing, sitting, eating. Sick sick!! sick!
Touching it hurt. Putting clothes over it hurt. Moving hurt. I had to sleep on the couch because rolling over hurt. And I really didn't want to hurt anymore.
The burn was deep. We are talking layers and layers of skin.
We are talking leather.
I do not recommend making leather out of your own skin.
Such a wonderful invention.
I once tried to create my own leather. With my own skin.
It was the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. There was an all day 4-on-4 grass volleyball tournament that my friends and I were in.
So, being the naturally white girl that I am, I decided that it would be a great opportunity to get tan. To be in the sun for 8 hours. With the least amount of sunscreen. Applied only once. In the morning. Which I rinsed off with water. Because I was hot.
The end result?
The worst sunburn in the history of Stefanie Burns.
If I touched it, I felt sick. If I put anything cold on it, I felt sick. Rubbing Aloe Vera on it, I felt sick. Standing, sitting, eating. Sick sick!! sick!
Touching it hurt. Putting clothes over it hurt. Moving hurt. I had to sleep on the couch because rolling over hurt. And I really didn't want to hurt anymore.
The burn was deep. We are talking layers and layers of skin.
We are talking leather.
I do not recommend making leather out of your own skin.
Monday, July 25, 2016
What Alice Forgot
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
Goodreads Summary
Alice Love is twenty-nine, crazy about her husband, and pregnant with her first child.
So imagine Alice’s surprise when she comes to on the floor of a gym and is whisked off to the hospital where she discovers the honeymoon is truly over — she’s getting divorced, she has three kids and she’s actually 39 years old. Alice must reconstruct the events of a lost decade, and find out whether it’s possible to reconstruct her life at the same time. She has to figure out why her sister hardly talks to her, and how is it that she’s become one of those super skinny moms with really expensive clothes.
Ultimately, Alice must discover whether forgetting is a blessing or a curse, and whether it’s possible to start over.
My review:
What a nightmare in some respects. And still a blessing in others. If I forgot the last 10 years of my life I would still be pregnant with my 4th and would have missed the birth of my last. How sad to miss such a wonderful time of my life. But it would be a blessing to see the world through younger eyes...eyes less skeptical and more hopeful. I loved this book for that reason. I thought Liane did a great job at helping the reader feel the loss that Alice felt and at the same time reminding us all to remember.
Goodreads Summary
Alice Love is twenty-nine, crazy about her husband, and pregnant with her first child.
So imagine Alice’s surprise when she comes to on the floor of a gym and is whisked off to the hospital where she discovers the honeymoon is truly over — she’s getting divorced, she has three kids and she’s actually 39 years old. Alice must reconstruct the events of a lost decade, and find out whether it’s possible to reconstruct her life at the same time. She has to figure out why her sister hardly talks to her, and how is it that she’s become one of those super skinny moms with really expensive clothes.
Ultimately, Alice must discover whether forgetting is a blessing or a curse, and whether it’s possible to start over.
What a nightmare in some respects. And still a blessing in others. If I forgot the last 10 years of my life I would still be pregnant with my 4th and would have missed the birth of my last. How sad to miss such a wonderful time of my life. But it would be a blessing to see the world through younger eyes...eyes less skeptical and more hopeful. I loved this book for that reason. I thought Liane did a great job at helping the reader feel the loss that Alice felt and at the same time reminding us all to remember.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Things I've learned....
...drinking soda.
There is really only one thing to learn:
Diet Coke with extra ice.
The end.
There is really only one thing to learn:
Diet Coke with extra ice.
The end.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Book: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" by Scott Fitzgerald
Goodreads Summary:
"In 1860 Benjamin Button is born an old man and mysteriously begins aging backward. At the beginning of his life he is withered and worn, but as he continues to grow younger he embraces life -- he goes to war, runs a business, falls in love, has children, goes to college and prep school, and, as his mind begins to devolve, he attends kindergarten and eventually returns to the care of his nurse.
This strange and haunting story embodies the sharp social insight that has made Fitzgerald one of the great voices in the history of American literature."
My review:
I am not quite sure why the summary says "haunting." I thought the story was quite a fun read. It is a short fun piece of work. I found myself laughing at some of the silliness and the irony. If you have an hour or two you should try this book. It's just plain fun.
Goodreads Summary:
"In 1860 Benjamin Button is born an old man and mysteriously begins aging backward. At the beginning of his life he is withered and worn, but as he continues to grow younger he embraces life -- he goes to war, runs a business, falls in love, has children, goes to college and prep school, and, as his mind begins to devolve, he attends kindergarten and eventually returns to the care of his nurse.
This strange and haunting story embodies the sharp social insight that has made Fitzgerald one of the great voices in the history of American literature."
My review:
I am not quite sure why the summary says "haunting." I thought the story was quite a fun read. It is a short fun piece of work. I found myself laughing at some of the silliness and the irony. If you have an hour or two you should try this book. It's just plain fun.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
That leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I love road trips. Get myself a large Diet Coke with plenty of ice, some seeds and gum and I'm good to go. I've always loved them
Okay, there were about 11 years when road tripping wasn't fun...you know, during those years with littlies. Those were tough. But I'm out of those years and so traveling isn't so bad.
However, not everyone loves a road trip and not every road trip is loveable.
Once when I was about 10, we went on a trip to my grandparents' house to celebrate July 24th . It was a 4 hour drive, which really wasn't that long. Or so we thought. For some reason, my parents invited a small family (husband wife and baby) to come join us.
Let's think this through. We already had 8 kids and 2 parents. That's 10 people. Now add two more adults and a baby in a car seat. That equals.... one hellish ride.
Why they thought this was a great idea, I am not quite sure. But they were givers. Apparently the couple also thought an all expense paid road trip with 10 other people was a good idea as well because it happened.
Well, as happens when you fill a van full of children and teenagers and adults and drive for a few hours, you're gonna have gas. I don't mean the kind you buy. I'm talking about the kind you pass. Luckily for the gassy culprit, the passing was silent. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the fumes were deadly. Some things you never forget...and I can still taste the smell...blech!
We would open the windows for a minute or two to air the place out, and almost as soon as the windows were up, the smell would mysteriously re-appear.
I guess after this happening over and over, the mother of the family began complaining to my mom. "Can you make them stop? Please. Make them stop."
I'm not sure what she thought my mom could do. First she had to identify the passer....and with a smell like that, no-one was going to be owning it. But even if she was lucky enough to find them, then what? I mean...really....what can you do about gassy children?
(And just for the record...it was not me.)
I'm not sure what my mom told her, but if I was the mom it would have sounded something like this: "Hey, that was one of the risks you took taking a 4 hour trip with a van full of 9 children and 4 adults. I remember smelling your son's poopy diaper an hour ago. It's part of being human. There is going to be some gas. So....breath through your mouth?"
Okay, there were about 11 years when road tripping wasn't fun...you know, during those years with littlies. Those were tough. But I'm out of those years and so traveling isn't so bad.
However, not everyone loves a road trip and not every road trip is loveable.
Once when I was about 10, we went on a trip to my grandparents' house to celebrate July 24th . It was a 4 hour drive, which really wasn't that long. Or so we thought. For some reason, my parents invited a small family (husband wife and baby) to come join us.
Let's think this through. We already had 8 kids and 2 parents. That's 10 people. Now add two more adults and a baby in a car seat. That equals.... one hellish ride.
Why they thought this was a great idea, I am not quite sure. But they were givers. Apparently the couple also thought an all expense paid road trip with 10 other people was a good idea as well because it happened.
Well, as happens when you fill a van full of children and teenagers and adults and drive for a few hours, you're gonna have gas. I don't mean the kind you buy. I'm talking about the kind you pass. Luckily for the gassy culprit, the passing was silent. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the fumes were deadly. Some things you never forget...and I can still taste the smell...blech!
We would open the windows for a minute or two to air the place out, and almost as soon as the windows were up, the smell would mysteriously re-appear.
I guess after this happening over and over, the mother of the family began complaining to my mom. "Can you make them stop? Please. Make them stop."
I'm not sure what she thought my mom could do. First she had to identify the passer....and with a smell like that, no-one was going to be owning it. But even if she was lucky enough to find them, then what? I mean...really....what can you do about gassy children?
(And just for the record...it was not me.)
I'm not sure what my mom told her, but if I was the mom it would have sounded something like this: "Hey, that was one of the risks you took taking a 4 hour trip with a van full of 9 children and 4 adults. I remember smelling your son's poopy diaper an hour ago. It's part of being human. There is going to be some gas. So....breath through your mouth?"
Monday, July 11, 2016
"Wuthering Heights"
"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte
Goodreads Summary:
"Wuthering Heights is a wild, passionate story of the intense and almost demonic love between Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, a foundling adopted by Catherine's father. After Mr Earnshaw's death, Heathcliff is bullied and humiliated by Catherine's brother Hindley and wrongly believing that his love for Catherine is not reciprocated, leaves Wuthering Heights, only to return years later as a wealthy and polished man. He proceeds to exact a terrible revenge for his former miseries. The action of the story is chaotic and unremittingly violent, but the accomplished handling of a complex structure, the evocative descriptions of the lonely moorland setting and the poetic grandeur of vision combine to make this unique novel a masterpiece of English literature."
My review:
I did not like this book. At. All. It was disturbing. And it never got better. I kept waiting for something good to happen or for something to change with Heathcliff. Spoiler alert. He doesn't change. I just don't see why this is a classic and why people love it.
Goodreads Summary:
"Wuthering Heights is a wild, passionate story of the intense and almost demonic love between Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, a foundling adopted by Catherine's father. After Mr Earnshaw's death, Heathcliff is bullied and humiliated by Catherine's brother Hindley and wrongly believing that his love for Catherine is not reciprocated, leaves Wuthering Heights, only to return years later as a wealthy and polished man. He proceeds to exact a terrible revenge for his former miseries. The action of the story is chaotic and unremittingly violent, but the accomplished handling of a complex structure, the evocative descriptions of the lonely moorland setting and the poetic grandeur of vision combine to make this unique novel a masterpiece of English literature."
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| Photo found here. |
I did not like this book. At. All. It was disturbing. And it never got better. I kept waiting for something good to happen or for something to change with Heathcliff. Spoiler alert. He doesn't change. I just don't see why this is a classic and why people love it.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Things I've learned...
…having Crossfitters in my home.
1. All my problems could be solved if only I did Crossfit.
2. Crossfit games are equal to if not more important than the Olympics.
3. The men in my house no longer wear shirts.
4. My alarm clock is the sound of weights being dropped to the ground.
5. There are really only two important letters in the alphabet: P and R.
6. Next time I buy a house I need a three car garage just so I will have somewhere to park my car.
7. Protein drinks and shaker cups have taken over my cupboards and pantry.
8. Tabata, AMRAP, RFT, etc. are common acronyms and must be understood.
9. If I could only get them as dedicated to putting away laundry and cleaning their rooms.
10. Rogue wear can only be bought online. And there are no discounts or sales. Thank you Crossfit. I needed another one of those.
After all is said and done, Crossfit is probably one of the best things I could have hoped to get my men involved in.
1. All my problems could be solved if only I did Crossfit.
2. Crossfit games are equal to if not more important than the Olympics.
3. The men in my house no longer wear shirts.
4. My alarm clock is the sound of weights being dropped to the ground.
5. There are really only two important letters in the alphabet: P and R.
6. Next time I buy a house I need a three car garage just so I will have somewhere to park my car.
7. Protein drinks and shaker cups have taken over my cupboards and pantry.
8. Tabata, AMRAP, RFT, etc. are common acronyms and must be understood.
9. If I could only get them as dedicated to putting away laundry and cleaning their rooms.
10. Rogue wear can only be bought online. And there are no discounts or sales. Thank you Crossfit. I needed another one of those.
After all is said and done, Crossfit is probably one of the best things I could have hoped to get my men involved in.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Wanted
Wanted:
Someone who will
Will pay handsomely....I mean will be handsomely paid as hubby will be writing the check.
...No.... wait.
What am I saying??
(thinking)
I have children.
Cancel that.
(whip cracking)
I have all I ever wanted.
Someone who will
- Change and wash the sheets
- Clean up the pee on the wall behind the toilets
- De-junk my junk drawers
- Dust my blinds
- Clean behind and under my washer machine, dryer and fridge.
- Organize the storage room and garage
- Wash my windows
Will pay handsomely....I mean will be handsomely paid as hubby will be writing the check.
...No.... wait.
What am I saying??
(thinking)
I have children.
Cancel that.
(whip cracking)
I have all I ever wanted.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
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