Naked Revenge

I grew up in a family with seven girls.

We grew up in a house that technically had 2 bathrooms, but one of them was a DO-NOT-USE status because it was used by the boys in our house. EEEEEEW! No-one wanted to use that bathroom. Come to think about it, I don't even think my mom ever really used that bathroom either.

That is a lot of girls using one bathroom.

Needless to say, privacy wasn't always a luxury we had. Rarely could you just kick back and relax in the toil-y. If you tried to lock yourself in there, forget it. Everyone knew how to pick the lock., The only way to get people to stay out was if you were passing solid waste or  it was "your time of the month." If neither of these applied, you were out of luck.

Showering had its own rules. If you were taking a shower, everyone had to leave while you took off your clothes and hopped into the shower. After that, the okay was given and they could come back in. The same was true for the few minutes after the shower...long enough to get your undies on.

To others, this may seem cruel and unusual because the right to privacy is, after all, a God given right. Unless God gave you 6 sisters...then you can forget about privacy.

As you can imagine, standing in a shower, completely clothes-less, with only a plastic shower curtain hiding you from the bathroom traffic can make a person completely vulnerable. So who better than to exploit that than one's sisters.

This is how it worked.

While one sister was getting into the shower, the other sister would run to the kitchen and grab an icy-cold cup of water. When the signal was given that it was safe to enter the bathroom, the cold-water-holding sister would wait for about a minute and then proceeded to dump the icy-cold water onto the showering sister.

Have you ever experienced shock like that before? It is enough to make one pee one's pants....not literally as they are without pants....but figuratively.

The worst part was that there really was nothing you could do because you were..well...naked. You couldn't jump out of the shower and hit them, chase them, hug them because you were, again, naked. All you could do was yell. But you couldn't yell too loud or make too extreme of a threat because 1) you were still naked in the shower and 2) they still held the cup that could easily be refilled with cold water.

All you could do was plan your revenge.

So, I Married a Deaf Man: Wrong Translation!!

Most days being married to someone who doesn't speak English is not a problem. In fact, I don't usually notice. 

However, this is not always true. Case in point:

A few nights ago, our son Camden, was standing close to the fireplace and leaned into the metal covering. It was hot. As he has skin that covers his arm (weirdo), it was burned.

It wasn't a "rush-him-to-the-ER" type burn, but it had blistered and popped immediately , taking off a layer of skin. It hurt him pretty bad and was red and swollen, but it was something that we could deal with at home.

Well, as I looked through our medicine cabinet, I saw that we were missing some of the things that we needed to care for the burn.

So Hubs willingly went to store to buy the list of things I texted him:

Ointment and Dressing.

I stayed to finish watching the movie to take care of the burned, crying child.

About 20 minutes later, Hubs returned with the needed items....or so I thought.

When I asked for dressing I meant this:

When he heard dressing, he thought I meant this:

Yes....

He....

Did....