Repost: Nothing says I love you like this....

I recycle because I am tired...AND... because funny doesn't become UNfunny with time.

So enjoy this RE-post!! (It's one of my favs)

 

Last night, my Camden chose a book for me to read to my kids before they went to bed. He chose "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn. This is one of my all time favorites. It is about a mommy raccoon and a young raccoon and his first day at school. The child doesn't want to go to school, he wants to stay at home with his mommy and friends and play. The mommy tells him that we all have to do things we don't like sometimes.

She then tells him a secret that has been passed down in her family. She takes the child's hand and kisses the middle of it. She tells him that anytime he feels lonely or sad, he can put his hand to his face and he will feel her love fill him up. The child likes this and is satisfied.

Now it is time for the raccoon to head into school. The mom is feeling sad, so the child runs back and kisses his mom's hand so that she can feel his love, because we all know she is the one who really needs it anyway.

Such a sweet story. I don't mind reading it over and over to my kids. So last night as I was reading it, when we got to the kissing hand part, I kissed Camden on the hand and he smiled. So sweet.

Then it was time for the raccoon to go to school and he kisses his mom's hand. Camden grabs my hand, spreads open my fingers, leans in and....

SPITS!!

Lovely! I looked down at the puddle of spit in my hand, wondering what I should do with it. Definately I wasn't going to be putting it to my face so I could feel warm fuzzies.

I must say, however, that that little act of kindness made me laugh all through the night and all day today. I laughed so hard I got the hiccups. His spit was so much more effective at making me smile than a mere kiss on the hand would have been...by far!

Nothing says "I love you" like spit!

Numbers

In the last 3 days we have had:

1 broken arm (very steep slide + a total lightweight = trouble)

6 hours in the sun (End of the year kickball tournament and outdoor water party.)
 
3 applications of aloe vera on my sunburned arms (I'm hot. What can I say?)

20 out of town visitors (Hotel Burns is now open for the summer)

4 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours  (Typical really.)

15 minutes in between vomiting episodes for 3 hours. (First time for my baby. I always feel worse when  babies are sick.) 

5 hours walking around the mall looking for a dress (Have I ever mentioned that I HATE shopping.)

1 wedding (My oldest niece is getting married tomorrow.)

0 minutes left to blog. (I even missed writer's workshop...sniffles.)

You do the math...I was never good at numbers anyway. See ya next week!!

Erase, Erase, Erase!

Forgiveness is....

...not saying anything when your husband washes your nice, white Sunday shirt with the bright, red, unwashed table cloth.

...not kicking the dog who got into the garbage and spread it all over the back yard the night before family comes into town for the wedding.

...kissing the child who has had it in for you all day long because on this day, no matter what you do, it isn't going to be enough.

...biting your tongue when the idiot talking on his cell phone cuts you off as you are pulling out of the shopping center.

...not calling the guy an idiot.

...one of the hardest things to do.

...even harder to ask for.

...admitting you're wrong.

...something a mother asks for everyday.

And so, since I publicly blamed my 15 month old for losing my key card, I figured it only fair that I publicly confess that I lost it. I left it in my station and it was turned into my supervisor.

So, my son, forgive me. I was wrong.

Forgiveness...

Lord, please grant it to me everyday of my life. You know I need it!!

Caller, are you there?

I remember when I was little thinking what it would be like if you could see people on the phone when they called you. Can you imagine. You would have to make sure you looked just right before you said hello.

Well, as Brad Paisley says, "Welcome to the future." This is what I do every day for my second job. I see people on their phones. It is actually quite an amazing thing...allowing people who have been basically silent for years to finally have a voice. So to be part of that is great.

That being said, there are also some really interesting things that I see as a VRS interpreter...things I don't necessarily want to see. I also have to say things that I would never say myself. NEVER. NEVER!! Plus there are just some funny things that you hear. Let me share with you what I do everyday.

Things you see on a VRS call:

Nose picking...lots of it. Don't they know that we can see them? Of course they do, because they are signing to me...I guess they just don't care. Along the same lines, I have seen pimple popping, hair primping, loogie spitting (on their carpet...gross). It is just plain joy to serve these people.

Lies...oh yes...you can see a lie. Especially when they say they are Mary but clearly they are Jack.

Shirtless men, nursing mothers, naked children, and body parts that no one should see on a phone call.

Excitement, disappointment, devistation, anger, heartbreak, mourning, frustration, empowerment, rudeness,  love. Lots of love.

Things you hear on a VRS call:

Way too much hold music. Why don't they just play the radio? There is some hold music that makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh.

Way to many phone trees: "If you're calling for technical support, press one; for sales press two; to talk with someone who will not be able to help you but will transfer you to 5 other people, please press three." (More times than not, this is the number they choose...sigh)

A TON of people misunderstanding what the relay service is about: "No. No. We don't want any. Click." "No, we don't have any of those here." "Death person? I don't know anyone who is death."

Scamming. BIG TIME scamming. Suckering old deaf women into sending money across seas. Desperate men who send money to pay for a ticket for a wife they have never met over and over and over again. Sad, really.

Just plain funny:
Hearing person (obviously driving in a car), "So they are going to be able to see me?" Me: "No, not unless you have a video phone in your car."

Deaf caller, "You are as beautiful as the Mona Lisa." (Is that considered a compliment?)

Deaf caller, "Taxes? I don't want to pay taxes! No, I won't! Doesn't the government know that Deaf people don't have money!!"

The best part of VRS

I love being involved with first time calls from child to parent, grandchild to grandparent. These people have never really heard their child's voice. They may understand basic signs, but that is baby language really. It is different when it is interpreted into the beautiful language that it is.

I love seeing Deaf individuals standing up for their rights; educating doctors and schools and individuals about how equal access is important and that they can do ANYTHING that someone else can do except hear. I love those calls.

I love processing calls where love and respect between parent and child runs thick. There is a deep understanding of each other and their needs. I love those calls.

In short:

If you have to work outside the home, it is a great job to have. All of it.

The good, the bad and the ugly!!

So I Married a Deaf Man: Bedtime

If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Isn't that the question? A similar question is asked in our house "If you put the kids to bed at night and there is no-one there to hear them, do they make a sound?"

For example:

Ah, bedtime...the most stressful time of the day. Not for myself...heck I shout for joy and do THE Steve Carell dance when it is MY bedtime. No, I am talking about the 8pm bedtime for my rodents rascals.

Such a chore. There's putting on PJ's and convincing my 5 year old that the clothes he wore all day are NOT PJ's. Then there is the brushing of the teeth...
"All done."
"You were only in there for like 30 seconds. You couldn't have brushed your teeth."
"Yes. I did."
"Let me smell."
"FINE! I will brush them."
(Seriously, I am going to buy a timer and turn it on and they can't stop brushing until the timer goes off....grrr.)

Then there is the whole reading books, tucking in, giving kisses...back up for water....back up for music...back up for "I love you's" ...back up for help going potty...again.  And so it goes. From start to finish it takes about 45 minutes. Very tiring.

My husband doesn't get it. He says that when he does bedtime (and I am not there) the kids go right to sleep and it isn't a problem. Really?? Are you kidding me? He assures me that once the teeth are brushed and the stories are read, the kids get right in bed and they go to sleep.

I have always felt a little bad about that. What am I doing wrong (besides giving in to their every whim)? Why can he get them down in 10 minutes when it takes me 45. Part of it has to be the man vs mom thing. But really? 10 minutes??

I recently found out why.  I got off early the other day and got home at about bedtime. I snuck in (I can do this with my deaf husband) and sat down in the livingroom to listen. My husband was sitting at the computer table while what sounded like a circus was going on upstairs.

I could hear children yelling jokes back and forth, the baby was yacking up a storm, someone was singing and I think I even heard a recorder being played. It didn't sound like any bedtime I had ever heard. And yet, there my husband sat, thinking sweet dreams were being had by all. I listened to the chaos upstairs for a while and just had to laugh.

So, I pose the question: "If you put the kids to bed at night and there is no-one there to hear them, do they make a sound?"

You be the judge.

Everyone needs to smile a little...

I thought this video was hilarious. Thought that I would share. Enjoy!


And here is one more for good measure...

Child Magnet

Bathrooms....such a wonderful invention. Especially the indoor kind. It can be a place to rest, to read, or to merely do your business. With a small push, all things ugly are flushed into an unknown, undisclosed place. Pretty much THE best invention of this century.

Mommy...what could be better? A nice soft person, who will pretty much take care of all your needs. She will bath you, she will feed you, she will read to you. And even she will wipe your bummy from time to time. One of God's greatest creations, wouldn't you say?

For some reason, when the two are put together, children can't stay away. It is like mommy IN the bathroom is a child magnet. You can sneak away when no-one is looking, you can lock the door, you can run, but you can't hide. They will find you. Oh yes, they will.

This is the typical happening at my house. It doesn't matter if they are in the middle of a movie, playing Lego's, or sleeping. It is like there is a special bell that goes off that only children can hear. Dogs may also hear it, but it has yet to be determined if the dog is simply following the children or if he can hear the bell as well.

However, yesterday an odd thing happened. I went to the restroom, closed the door, sat down, and that was it. No-one came knocking at the door, no-one found a key or a knife or a coin to unlock the door. All was silent. "How nice," I thought.

How nice, indeed, until I came out and saw what my baby had done.

My bag, which I refuse to call a purse because only old people have those...(yes, I know..I am so not hip...and I'm okay with that..)...had been left on the chair. While I was enjoying my little get away, (how sad is that?) my baby decided he was going to go through it for me.

There are a lot of unnecessary things in my bag. Really old receipts, candy wrappers, programs, socks, toys, tampons, you name it, it is in there. But there are actually some pretty important thing too. Money, my wallet which holds the credit card, debit cards, check book, the ONLY pen that I can ever find that works. AND it holds the key card that gets me into my work.

So I come out and realize that he has decided it was time to clean out mommy's bag. Papers everywhere. Wallet open and cards flung all over the floor. Where is that pen!!! I collected my things and was putting them back into their place when I noticed that my key card was missing.

I have looked high and low...mostly low because he is pretty short. I have looked EVERYWHERE.

 ***Insert my own annoying voice saying, "You haven't looked everywhere because you would have found it." ***

 It is nowhere! NOWHERE! I cleaned and looked. I searched the garbage...that was really quite fun, let me tell you. Toy boxes have been dumped, cushions have been moved, sand castles destroyed. The next option is to sift through diapers (he would have choked on the card before he could have digested it, but I put nothing past that child.).  Nowhere, people! Nowhere!!

Big sigh!!

Why couldn't he have just followed me into the bathroom? Where is that bell?

Enjoy your weekend!

Yogurt and Sprite

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

My family, which included both my parents and all 8 children, were loaded in the big blue van that had one of the windows taped on with black duct tape..(a post for another time). We were all dressed nice as we were going to the end of the year awards banquet for my older sisters.

We pull into the parking lot of the high school and that is when it hit. I started to feel sick and I must have turned pale because my mom said that she would take me home.

Now, in my house, when you were sick there were two things that Mom would give you to make you feel better: yogurt and Sprite. It didn't matter what you were sick with, it was yogurt and Sprite. When mom was little, Grandma would give a hot tottie. All we got was yogurt and Sprite.

So on our way home, we stopped at the only grocery store in town. I am not sure why I went inside, but I did. We walked to the where the yogurt was (at the back of the store, of course) and that was when my mouth started to water. You know what I am talking about. Salty, slimy, maybe-if-I-swallow-enough-it-will-go-away feeling.  I knew it was coming and there was nothing I could do about it.

I turned to go outside. It was hopeless. As I rushed down the pasta isle, it all came out. ALL of it. All over...It was ugly. I felt bad for the poor lady who didn't realize what had just happend and walked right through the middle of it.


"Clean up on isle 10!"

But it doesn't stop there.

I looked up at my mom, who was trying to get someone to help with the mess. I was mortified. So I backed up and tried to escape down the next isle when my stomach decided it needed another cleansing.

"Clean up on isle 10 and 11!!"

Luckily that was it. I hid my face and practically sprinted out the door. I laid down in the van and wanted to die. It's one thing to have it happen when you are a kid. But when you are in junior high school... Ugh!!

But on the bright side, I got yogurt and Sprite.

...and out of the banquet.

Do you remember getting sick in an inconvenient place?

Also posted on Mama's Losin' It for Writer's Workshop. Check it out!

Balancing Act

Balance....something that we learn early on in life. When a baby learns to walk, he must find balance. When a child learns to ride a bike, she must find balance. Balance, such a fragile thing. I heard it once compared to spinning plates.

Let me introduce you to the plates of my life.

We have got china plates which consists of children, hubby, and God.
We have Corell ware ; things like jobs, bills, education, grocery shopping, house work, etc.
We have our plastic ware: piano lessons, book club, scouts, blogs,etc
And last we have paper plates: tv, Wii, internet surfing, napping, etc.

As life goes, we balance these plates on sticks and we spin them. And then we go from one plate to the next making sure they aren't going to fall.

Once we feel like we have mastered the spinning of the plates we have, then we add more plates...plates of all varieties. The more plates we add on, the more running around we are doing. Spinning, spinning, always spinning.

My problem as of late is finding priority. I have all these plates, and I fear that I am letting my precious china plates wobble until they are about to fall while the plastic and paper plates are about to take flight.

Priority, such an important thing for a mom, don't you think? We have to make sure that our loved ones and our spirituality (best china) do not fall because if they do, they are hard to fix and the consequences could be devastating. But some of the other things like work and buying food, and education are all important things too.

The key is spending enough time with your best china, making sure it gets the attention that it needs so that it will be able to spin longer. There are days when there is that one china plate that wants my complete attention, for whatever reason. But if my time is spent spinning plastic and paper plates, that precious china plate will never be noticed. Only cursed for not spinning right.

So, slowly but surely, the paper plates are making their way to the trash, or at least into the cupboard to be taken out and spun for a night, then quickly returned to its place.

I'm a mommy now. I've got some serious spinning to do with my precious, irreplaceable china!

Balance and priority.

How do you do it??

I've been everywhere

Randomness...why is that we like it so much? Maybe it is because we all have days like that...when our mind just won't stay on one track. Maybe because that feels like a reflection of how our life is going..all over the place. Or maybe it is because we can get to know a little more about the other person when you see how their mind works...or doesn't in some cases...ahem.

So today, here is a little more randomness for you all. It's the Random Dozen from 2nd cup of coffee. I thought they were fun and I am all about fun!!

1. What is one really fast, know-by-heart "go-to" meal to fix in a pinch?
Pancakes...homemade pancakes. I don't think that my children even know it is supposed to be a breakfast food. We usually have it on Sunday nights, but it isn't limited to then. It is easy, it is versatile and it is yummy.


2. What is one item you won't leave home without? (Purse and license do not count.)
Okay, so I am assuming clothes don't count either because there is no way I am leaving without those. Scary...very scary. So I guess I would have to say....children. Unless there is a babysitter, and then there is pretty much NOTHING that would hold me back! Nothing!!

3. Where is one place you never tire of visiting?
My bed. That place is my dream. But if we are talking about outside my home here, I would say my parents' home. I love it there. It is such a safe place for me and my family. About 4 years ago I went through a bout of depression and my mom's house was such a refuge for me. PLUS my kids love their G-ma and G-pa Lee's house. They know they are loved there. Hubs too.

4. Share one factoid of your family's history.
Factoid? I just learned what it meant. Like a fable or tall tale (in case you didn't know either.) Not sure about that one, but my great great great...etc grandfather was John D. Lee. So what, you say? Well, he is the guy who was blamed for the Mountain Meadow Massacre. A black spot on the Mormon history. Yup, that is my blood line. Gulp.

5. Complete this sentence: "Once upon a time I ...."
Once upon a time I was young and skinny and clueless. But now I am older and unskinny and still clueless. Point of the story, chocolate really isn't your friend...it only makes your butt big. DRAT!!

6. If you could win a one year's supply of anything, what would it be?
Milk. MILK. Do you know how much money I spend on milk? Probably enough to buy myself my OWN cow. But then I would have to deal with more poop and I think that at this point I have enough poop in my life. So, though it isn't all that funny or exciting, milk is what I would choose.

7. "One quirky thing you may not know about me is ...."
I would say that I like to have my bed made up perfect. It doesn't always get made, but if it is gonna be made, let's make the sheets straight. None of this lopsided unevenness. Don't mind if my kids beds look like that, but not mine. Either make it right, or don't make it at all.

8. You have one dollar in your pocket. What will you buy?
The key here is trying to figure out how I got that dollar in my pocket. My kids are very good at pick-pocketing. (Is that a work). And Hubs is always looking for an extra dollar. So if I actually got out of the house and past the mob with a dollar for myself, I think I just might go to Sonic and get myself an ice cream...and not share with anyone. Because I am that kind of mom.

9. "One thing that always makes me laugh is ...."
...my Camden's laugh. He has got the best laugh for a little boy. I am not sure he is going to love it when he gets older, but it is just so contagious. Maybe I will put it up here sometime. But guaranteed, if he is laughing, everyone around him is too.

10. What is one thing you could do today to help yourself reach a personal goal?
Tape my mouth shut. That would help me with two of my goals: To lose weight and to stop yelling at my kids. But that may hinder the whole talking to my kids goal and also eating more healthy. BUT if I ate everything through a straw that would work. AND I could help my children brush up on their signing skills. So duct tape it is! (Duct tape...another thing that is very versatile.)

11. What is one thing you could do today to bless someone else?
Read number 10.

12. What is one thing you're looking forward to soon?
I am giving my niece a bridal shower tonight. It should be lots of fun. But the thing that I am looking forward to most is her red face. She is a straight arrow kind of gal and nighties are definitely things she isn't used to. So that will be so much fun!

And here is a random picture to close things up!

Didn't you know? Mullets and pink ties were really cool back when I was in Jr. High.

LOL or Brutal Honesty....You decide....

I have this game that I love to play. Sadly, no-one else likes to play it as much as I do.You know, the kind of game that you always suggest, but everyone else just rolls their eyes and continue to choose something else. RUDE!

With that introduction, you and I are going to play the game. Stop rolling your eyes. Come on, try it. 

The name of the game is "Would You Rather." I am going to tell you which choice I would rather do, and why. Then you get to do the same. If there is enough interest in it, we can set up a Mr Linky. If not, then I will add you all to the list of people who hate my guts would rather play Scrabble.

Here we go......

Would You Rather...

Be forced to laugh in the most inappropriate situations

-OR-

have to say everything that is on your mind?

Hmmmmm........... Think of your own answer now........................

.....................

(Jeopardy music playing) ........................................................

Times up (Actually, you can walk away from your computer and stay away as long as you like. So time is only up when you decide to come back. Just thought you should know your options.)

Can you imagine? 

There you are,  in the middle of a wedding and the preacher asking 

"...let him speak now of forever hold your peace." 

"Bwahahahahahahahahahaha....oh, oh, so sorry. Hahahahahahahaha."

Imagine the stares. I think that would be the last wedding your were invited to.

OR

You are sitting in a movie about the Holocaust and the SS just brutally killed the main character's wife.

"Giggle...snicker...louder giggle...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

See the awkwardness of that whole situation. 

That is why I would choose to say everything on my mind. 

Sure, there would be a few uncomfortable situations...

"Who told you that you looked nice in that outfit." or

"You really are the worst human being I have ever met." or

"You have put on a pound or two or fifty. What happened?"

Yes, there would be some of those moments. But I am a strong believer that we have the ability to control our thoughts and I think if I worked at it, I could make myself ONLY think good, positive thoughts. So I choose the later of the two.

What about you? 

Which would you rather do??

Twisty ties and grocery bags

I don't think I have met anyone who doesn't like a khaki skirt. You can wear it to a reception and look nice, or you can wear it at home and be comfy. You can pretty much wear it anywhere. I think the word people use would be versatile.

Well, Drama Mama from The Scoop on Poop and Gabe from In the Details  both gave the Versatile Award to little old me. I am proud to be in the same group as khaki skirts, plastic grocery bags, and baking soda. I am a go-with-the-flow type girl. I think you kind of have to be with 5 kids and half a mind. Mostly I am thankful that there are people who like to read my blubbering. 

Now you get to learn a little more than you wanted about me.

1. I don't always wash my fruit. "Gasp." "EEEK!" "What kind of mom are you??" I am the kind that thinks a little bit of germs can only make you stronger. Let's just say, my kids are pretty tough.

2. I refuse to wear clothes with flowers on them. Once in a while I will wear a skirt with tiny flowers, but that is as far as I go.

3. Chewy candy makes me gag. Jelly beans, gummy bears, Swedish fish...ewe!! If it weren't for those dang chocolate Cadbury eggs, Easter would not even tempt my diet.

4. I totaled one car and almost another one in an 8 month time period. Let's just say I was having a bad year.

5. I love Sonic ice... I think the official name is rabbit turd deli ice. When I was pregnant with my 3rd and 4th babies I couldn't get enough of it. Why can't our freezers make that kind of ice? Surely there is someone out there who could do that??

6. I hate have issues with cats. It's not that I am afraid of them, I just don't like them much. So sorry if you love them...I mean no offense. It may have started when I was 5years old and fell asleep with gum in my mouth (orange Trident) and I was headed to my parents' room and our cat Midnight blocked the way, hissing at me and scaring me to tears. That and we had some pretty crazy cats growing up. I don't like them rubbing against my legs, jumping on my lap...and the claws.

7. I have to sleep on my left side. I wasn't always that way. I used to sleep without a pillow, on my belly with my hands under my thighs. But after being pregnant 5 times and being forced on my left side, I just find it the most comfortable position to sleep in. 

Now, I'm supposed to pass the award along to 15 more bloggers that I have recently discovered and then let them know about their award. However, I haven't been blogging that long, so I will share with you some of the more recent blogs I have found and really enjoy reading.

The Adventures and Misadventures of Daily Living

live and love...out loud

Better in Bulk

The Family Trifecta

Coffee Lovin Mom

If SHE can figure it out...

You have all joined the ranks of twisty ties, laundry baskets, and reversible jackets.  Congratulations and thanks you very much!! Have a great week!!

All, please arise!

Today my husband graduates. For a woman of too many words, I am at a loss at this moment. So I turn to good old Mister Webster to help me out.

Throughout this journey, I have seen all these qualities in my husband.


Courage:  the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. 

Perseverance:  steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. 

Dedication: to devote wholly and earnestly, as to some person or purpose:

Patience: quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence:

 He has overcome a lot. A lot more than I ever had to face during my lifetime. And yet, he stuck with it. Showing my children how to overcome...how to look at a Goliath and pick up the stones and start chucking. No task is too hard. No dream impossible.

And so at this time, I am feeling:

Proud: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself 

Excited: stirred emotionally.

Relief: alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression.

Admiration: a feeling of wonder, pleasure, or approval.

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Join with me in telling this sweet man that I married:

Congratulations!! You did it!!

Help him find some socks, would ya!

Advance Warning: The pictures  below may scare you...I know they do me. 

There is something about feet, don't you think? You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their feet. No, I am not obsessed with feet and I don't have a fettish. I am just saying that feet are important. 

I have been told I have cute feet, but I never really paid attention to others feet until I met my husband. I love every part of that man...only not his feet. What kind of horrible person am I? If they have socks on them, I am good. But during sandal season, I want to run and hide. 

They're not extremely big, seeing that my husband is only 5'6". They don't smell weird or have fungus growing on them. He is a really clean man. In fact, I don't even think they get dry and cracked, which is more than I can say for myself. They...just...aren't....right.

My toes line up, tallest to shortest. I have a high arch and small feet. I think they are pretty average as far as feet go: 

Hubs' toes, however, seem to be out of order. The second toe is bigger than the others. They are pretty bony and veiny, and the pinky toe is triangular shaped. 

He can't cut the nails all the way down because the skin that is connected to his toes connects to the nail higher up than most. He is very ticklish on his feet, so getting professional help is out of the question. He needs an extreme make-over of the foot.

Any suggestions? Surgery? Really thick socks? It's a good thing that our feet don't come out of our faces...for more reasons than one. 

Minus the feet, he is a dream!!

Why am I blogging about my husband's feet? Well, there is never a good time to bring it up and so when Mama Kat put a prompt about feet, I was all over it. 

S.W.A.T. moves

I was running....running late. I got off work at noon and had to pick up 3 kids from 2 different places and get home before 12:15. No matter how much persuasive power I used on my clock, time just wasn't going to slow down for me.

About halfway home, my phone rings. It is home.  Kobe was calling to see where I was. I told him to lock the door and not answer the phone unless it was me because I would be home in about 10 minutes.

His response, "I don't need to lock the door, Mom! I know SWAT moves."

Hmmm, exactly what are SWAT moves, you ask?

According to Kobe, this means taking the intruder's arm, and twisting until it breaks.

OR

Grabbing them by the shirt, body slamming them to the ground, kicking them in the "you-know-what" and then punching their face.

OR (my personal favorite)

Grabbing the bad guys hand and forcing their fingers into their mouth, causing them to gag and throw up. (Because, apparently, there is nothing worse than throwing up.)

As comforting as it was, knowing that Kobe would be able to take any intruder out, I told Kobe it would be better if he just locked the door, and kept his life-saving moves top secret until special forces called needing his assistance.

So I Married a Deaf Man: Aqua!!

My husband is a turn off kind of guy. Meaning, he goes through the house turning off switches...light switches, left on televisions, hot curling irons. If it is left on, he will turn it off. There are times when I think he even turns me off, but I digress.

There is something else you should know about my husband. He is a certified scuba diver. He hasn't been since before we got married, so I know that he misses it very much. If someone has one of those scuba diving bumper stickers on, he will point it out. He won't throw out or get rid of his scuba gear. And I often see him holding his breath like there is no tomorrow. (Not really, but wouldn't that be funny if he did....Let's pretend, shall we.)

Well, the biggest reason I know that my honey misses scuba diving is because on a weekly basis he tries to turn our home into a diving pool. Case in point:

I worked a late shift the other night at work. So I didn't get home until about 12:40am. My husband is an early sleeper and so he was already in bed: lights out, he's out! But I come in and I hear this noise coming from our bathroom. What is that? Is the toilet running? I turn on our bathroom light to see the sink water on...full blast. The water is running. For how long has the water been running? Well, he usually calls it a night at about 9pm. So that would be, what, almost 4 hours. 4 HOURS PEOPLE.

This isn't the only time this has happened. Oh, no. This happens on a weekly basis. I will come home from the store, or book club, or some other function to water running. It is just a blessing that it has NEVER been a bathtub with a child in it. Or that the sinks have never been stopped up. He just misses it sometimes, because he looks away and can't hear that he has left something on.

So for a husband who runs around turning off lights because he is worried about the electric bill, he may like to take a second look next time he washes his hands after using the toily! (At least I know he washes his hands)

Get out the paddles, honey, and let's go for a swim!

Snooze please!!

You ever wake up Monday morning
And want to go back to sleep?
I look at the lists I've made for myself
and I want to lay down and weep.

My husband, the student, has finals again
both papers are due the end of this week.
One that is 15 pages, the other is 10
We won't even have time to speak!!

You see, he graduates this weekend
It's amazing and wonderful and great!!
His parents are coming to stay with us
and it's the preparations that I really hate!

Theres piles of laundry all over the place
You can't even see the floor.
Dust on the windows, dust in the blinds,
Compared to a beach, we've got more.

Toilets, oh toilets, you're looking so bad
You've taken a beating from my little boys
Then there's  the playroom atop of the stairs
It's been taken over by millions of toys.

My windows are covered with hand prints,
so much you can barely see out.
The bikes, the balls, the chalk, and the jumpropes
lay on the porch, scattered about.

The trampoline is missing a whole lot of springs
We've got to take care of that.
I can imagine the horror, in my mother-in-laws voice
When my baby falls through and goes "Splat!"

Mopping of floors, washing of sheets,
wiping the crud off the walls.
Cleaning the fridge out, the dang microwave
Vaccuuming bedrooms and halls.

Where is my spoonful of sugar,
The one that will pick up my house?
Ahhh, that's what I thought, there is none,
So I roll up the sleeves of my blouse.

I'm proud of my super smart husband
and for him I will work like a slave.
So he will know that I love him,
I'll work myself into my grave.

Why did you roll over this morning?
Spit it out, come on, do share.
Because despite what others may tell you
Your blogging friends really do care!

Have a great week!

She's all that...

My mom is THAT kind of mom.

She always rooted for the other team. I remember catching behind the plate during softball games and hearing my mother say, "Now, just keep your eye on the ball." She was louder for our team, but she would root for the underdog. She is that kind of mom.

My mom would always be the one who would make that confrontational call. If she bought something and it broke when she got home, she would call. She wasn't afraid to stand up for what she knew was right, even when the rest of us...her children...felt a little bit uncomfortable. She is that kind of mom

My mom loved the Lord. I knew this by watching the way she lived. She prayed with us. She talked of righteous things. She had the Spirit of the Lord with her. She had  faith. She is that kind of mom.

My mom could always make something out of nothing. The McGuyver mom, if you will. WHen we went looking for a wedding dress, I found this dress that I liked. She took a picture of it. Two months later, she had made the dress. She is that kind of mom

She welcomed everyone to her house. All her children's friends, cousins, struggling college roommates, missionaries. Even a gal she met at the grocery store who that didn't have a place to stay for the night.  She is that kind of mom

She was the kind of mom who would put down a blanket when I was really young and tell me that it was my ship and for me to stay on it so the sharks wouldn't eat me. THen she left the room. I thought it was a great game. She probably needed a break. She is that kind of mom

She was the one who had her priorities right on...She always had/made time to play and be at games, plays, concerts. OUr house wasn't always clean, but we were happy. She was that kind of mom

She was the one who would take our cinnamon rolls and give them to someone else. Not to be mean...but because there were others who were struggling in one form or another and whatever my mom made could make anyone feel better. She is just that kind of mom.

She called my brother a pumkin-turd on accident (ahem) once. And she laughed. And so did we. Because life is about laughing at yourself, isn't it?  She is that kind of mom

She would let us ditch...once in a while. We knew that education was important...but so is being young. She is that kind of mom

She's the one who nailed me when I got caught ditching a party to make-out  talk with my boyfriend. The wrath of mom. But then about 30 minutes later we were laughing about the things that she did when she was younger too. Increase of love...She is that kind of mom

I remember right before I went on a mission for my church having these awful cramps...yes, the yucky kind. Nothing would make them stop. I was lying on my bed and my mother came in and she rubbed my back. I was so touched by that.  She is that kind of mom

I call her at least 4 times a week. And she always talks. She always listens. She is happy when I am happy. She is worried when I am worried. She cries for me when I hurt. She tells me to put me first because she didnt always do that. She is that kind of mom.

It's because she is all of those things, that I strive to be what she is. I love her very much and am so grateful to have been raised in a home with such a wonderful mother.

I want to be that kind of mom!

Thanks, Mom!

Go Ahead

***Warning. This post ended up being pretty long. Be warned. ***
 
This post is gonna be a little tricky...with complicated deaf lingo. Don't worry. My vocabulary is very limited and so don't fret.

TTY Relay  This is the old way that deaf people would make calls. They would use equipment similar to a typwriter that can transmit the information through a phone line. Both deafie and operator had said TTYs and the operator would be connected to both the hearing person and the deafie. Thus relalying information to both parties.

Suppose my husband wants to order pizza. After about 4 minutes of waiting to get an operator on the line and the number etc, the call would proceed as follows:

Pizza Guy: "Hello! Domino's Pizza. Where our pizza isn't that great, but we are the closest pizza place to you and you have no other options. Is this carry or delivery?
Operator: (mono-tone voice) "This is TTY relay service, operator 666. You have a relay call that is going to take all night from a deaf caller . Are you familiar with this kind of call?"
Pizza guy: "Huh? A what? Are you trying to sell us something, because we sell crappy pizza, but we don't buy anything!"
Operator: "Your caller is calling through a typing device that is totally outdated and annoying for all of us and so I will be typing your conversation. You say 'Go Ahead' when you are done and the deaf caller will do the same."
Pizza Guy: "Uhhhmmm. Oookay?"
Operator: "Hold on one moment please." (Mad typing in the background can be heard.)
Long Silence..............................................................................
Pizza Guy: "Ummmm...Hello? Are you there."
Operator: "One moment sir." (Mad typing going on again.)
Long silence...............
Operator: "Your caller says 'Yes! Hi. My name is Hubs. This will be delivery. Go Ahead."
Pizza Guy: "Oh, what? What was that...?"
silence........................................................................
Pizza Guy: "Hello?!"
Operator: "Was that Go Ahead?"
Pizza Guy: " Yes. I guess so. Go ahead"
(mad typing)
silence..........................................................
Operator: "Delivery. I would like to order........"
Pizza Guy: "I need the phone number first.....Hello.?.."
Operator: "One moment sir that was not a go ahead. You need to wait your turn. One moment."
And so the call goes...On...for.. about 15 miutes. Can you imagine? 15 minutes to order pizza!?!?


Next word:
V.R.S. (No, it isn't some type of virus.) Video Relay Service. This is the service that deaf people throughout the modern world use to call hearing people. How does this work? Both the interpreter and the deafie have a video phone that allows them to see each other on t.v. Then the interpreter is able, again, to interpret and relay the conversation for both parties. This is really cool bacause it allows deaf people to communicate with others IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE. Very cool! VERY!!

Time to order pizza: After about 10 seconds of connecting to video interpreter the call is placed.
(Ring Ring) Pizza Guy: "Hello! Domino's Pizza. Where sometimes our pizza is not recognizable, but we call it pizza. Is this carry or delivery?"
Operator: "Hi. You have a caller who uses sign language to communicate. I'm interpreter 007 so I will be interpreting your call. Your caller is saying 'Delivery please.'"
Pizza Guy: "Huh? Uh okay. Can I have your number please."
Operator; "Sure...it is....."

And so the call goes. So much faster so much easier. And a much more pleasant experience for all involved.

Who pays for this? The FCC. It allows deaf individuals to have equal access in their own language. It has made things so much better in my house and to deaf all over. The FCC pays VRS providers a certain amount of money per call. Up til now it has been the same rate no matter which company you are. The contract is now up for review and what the FCC is proposing could be devistating to both the deaf community and also to the many VRS companies nationwide.
Their proposal is a 3 tiered pay scale. Smaller companies are Tier I, medium companies Tier II and large companies (the ones who process the majority of the video relayed calls...the one that I work for and that hubs uses) are Tier III. The FCC is  proposing to pay Tier one $5.00/call, Tier II $6.00/call, and Tier III $3.40/call. Yes, that is right. I didn't make a mistake. It doesn't make sense! At least to not to me.

If this were to go through, the company that I work for and the company that most deaf callers use WILL GO BANKRUPT. We will. There is no way around it. This would leave the majority of deaf people scrounging around looking for VRS providers. No other company has the capability of supporting that many calls. And if any company did, they would be forced into a higher tier, which would, in turn, cause them to go bankrupt. And so the cycle would go. In the end, Deaf people are the ones who are really hurt. Sure, we interpreters will lose our jobs...so there is that...more unemployment. However, the real injustice is to the people we serve. People like my husband.

It is outrageous. There is a reason why companies are successful. There are reasons why Deafies prefer one company over another. And to force that company by punishing them and rewarding another for mediocrity....it just doesn't make sense. Seriously. If this does happen, it will be back to the old, inefficient TTY relay. 

There is good news, however. At this point it is just a proposal. If enough people express concern over the matter, perhaps the FCC will reconsider. I tried to post the link here, but it doesn't seem to be working all that great. So here ((866) 756-6729)  is a number you can call, and when I get the right link I will post it here. 

Make a difference. Go Ahead!

How do I know?

I know my kids really love me because…

10- ...I am the one they choose to throw up on. I don't know about you, but there are only a few people who I would throw up on...and if I do it, I want it to be the right person...like my mom!

9- ...when they say things like, "You are a mean mommy!" or "You are a poopie mommy!" I know what they are trying to say is "You are awesome and I love you so much. Thanks for all you do." Perspective, people.

8-... they write it on their dressers with permanent marker. I love that!

7- ...nothing says I love you like, "Not this again! I hate green beans! Gross!!"

6- ...they lick my face from time to time. Wonderful.

5- ...they share their already chewed, licked, bitten out of gum/sucker/candy with me.

4- ...cuddling happens at all hours of the day.... and night.

3- ...headbutting equals love. Let's just say my boys love me a lot. And I have the bruises to prove it.

2 ...they draw pictures of me skinny. Oh, and apparently I have arms and legs that come out of my head. I love those pictures!!

1 ...because they tell me. They kiss me. They hug me. They run to me when they are hurt. They run to me when I am hurt. They sing their songs to me. They dance with me. I know they love me simply. Simply because I am who I am....

 I am Mom.

(Also posted at Mama's Losing It! for Writer's Workshop. She has a good post on there today. Made me cry!)

Need a little sunshine...

This is how I feel today.  It actually started last night. My body was aching. I had pregnant head. (You know how your stomach feels nauseous those first few months? Well I was feeling that in my head.) 

I swear I had a fever...but of course no-one else agreed with me. Not even the thermometer. 

I crashed on the couch waiting for hubs to come home. 

Finally at half past midnight, we wondered up to bed, only to have my 10 year old wake with a migraine. Poor kid. It is going on day 3 for him.

It took me about an hour and half to get to sleep. Then I had some crazy dreams. Why would my husband do that to me? Even if it is a dream, that is just mean!!

So today, I woke up feeling like this again. I called off work (whoot!!) and hung out with my aching son in my bed. 

But now it is time to get up, get dressed and tackle those dishes, laundry, little monkeys, etc. 

Wish me luck!

**You may be asking yourself, "Who does this to a flower?" I am sad to report that this isn't the first time something like this has happened. I am the flower killer! I never mean to do it, and yet this always seems to be the outcome. Potted plants are not my friends...or at least I am no friend to them. **

Childhood

Ahhh kids. They are smart little things, aren't they? The amount of information that they can learn in their first 2 years of life always amazes me. From merely crying to running, talking, eating soliod food, potty trained (Yeah right. At two??..not in my house.); it is all amazing.

So why, then, do they say some things that just don't make sense. There are too many to list, but I want to talk about the one that they say the most:

"First is the worst.

Second is the best

Third is the one with the hairy chest."

What can we learn from this little ditty?

We learn that striving for excellence is just plain wasteful. Who wants to be the worst? Yes, in our house we are perfectly fine with mediocre.

"Slow down, Johnny. You don't want to win. That would be horrible. Let that other kid pass you. Whoot. Way to go...or not go!"

Oh, yes. We love those RED ribbons. Silver is the new gold for us.  It has its advantages. No-one wants your autograph, no-one remembers you. And everyone tells you "Good try."

Now, it is the last line that is a little disturbing. I don't know about you, but if that line really is true, I would rather come in LAST PLACE than get bronze. Hairy chest? I can imagine how attractive that would look.

"Sally! Go! (oh drat...she's not going to be second). Let that other girl...the slow kid pass you. Slow down! SLOW DOWN! Argh! Third place. This is gonna get ugly."

Ahhhh, childhood.

What little ditties do your kids sing,chant, recite, etc.?

Honestly?!

I can't sleep in my undies.... Let me rephrase that. I can't sleep in ONLY my undies. I am afraid that if there was a fire I would simply grab my kids and run out the door...only to look down and see that I am in my skivies. Silly, I know, but it is true.

I once accidentally pushed a piano onto my 14 month old child. Not many people can say that....Not many people SHOULD say that. Don't worry, I will share that post on another day.

Out of the 11 years I have been married, I have been pregnant or nursing for 7.6 of them.

I hear that most men pee in the shower. My hubby does....Does yours?

I hate grocery shopping. Really, Really hate it! Such a huge undertaking. I have to make a menu, then the ingredients list, then check to see what I need, then go to the store and spend my life's savings, then load it into the car which happens to hold a few bikes, water bottles, not quite sure what that thing is. Then I have to take it home and unload it, clean out my fridge (because I never do that BEFORE I go to the store), unpack it. Then I have to defend my food so kids and hubby don't eat what is needed for the menu. Sigh. I hate grocery shopping.

I LOVE the High School Musical Trilogy. Did I just say that out loud? Heck yes!!

I have to sleep with something on my body (like a sheet or blanket), and nothing on my feet. Unless it is really cold, then I just put socks on.

My hubby and I dated 2 weeks before we got engaged. Two months later we were married. Booyah!

My dog thinks that my flower bed is his designated digging area.

Why so random, you ask? That's just how I roll. That and I got another award. Yippie!!  And it is the much coveted:

Thanks Nolie!! Whoever made up this award, should totally win this award. Who comes up with a name like that? Too funny! So above were the 10 random things about me. Probably more than you ever wanted to know.

Now for the awards...

Seeking the Sunlight (My college roomie...lots of good stuff here!)
Earth Mother  (Always get a good laugh here.)
Aging Mommy (Good read!)
From 3-5 (Just found this blog that makes me smile.)
Life is a phoenix (Love reading her blogs...chuckle chuckle)
The Girl Next Door Grow Up (Always a fun read here.)
My Little Miracles (Great blog)
A Stone's Throw From Insanity (Enjoy her humor!)

I know, there is only 8 links there...instead of 10. Again, my counting abilities were lost after the first 3 children. So sorry. Enjoy visiting these sites. They are great!

While you are here, tell me 10 random things about you. That way I can know who my stalkers are...or at least a little more about the people that I stalk!!