Wait...what??

The other day I was cuddling with my youngest on the couch.

 

"When you get big you are going to go away from here.

I will miss you so much!!

So let's just keep you little

 so you never have to leave me."

 

Lovingly, he responded,

"Don't worry, Mom. It will be okay.

You will always be my cousin."

 

 

 

That IS loud!

"Mom! Make him move," Brigham cried.

"Why?" I asked, as I pulled up my chair to the table.

"Because he smacks his lips so loud that his food flies onto my plate."

Whoa! That is a problem.
 
He must get it from his father.


Linking up with Mama Kat's writer's workshop.

Do you miss me?

He left me.

Hubs is gone. Has been gone for the past 5 weeks. He won't be back....

... for two more weeks. (Did I scare you? Heck, that scared me when I typed it and I knew it was a joke...)He's getting his masters and the program requires him to spend 2 summers in Washington DC.

Translation: It requires me to stay at home with my 5 children for pretty much the whole summer. Yeah, I'm pretty much bald and baggy eyed by now.  Truthfully, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. My kids have been great.

About two weeks into the summer, my sisters took all but the youngest of my children. Don't you just love sisters. It was really nice. I was worried how Brig, my 5 year old, was going to do. He had already been Hubs-sick and I didn't want him to feel Home-sick. He had almost changed his mind about going the night before but in the end decided to go.

After the first day, I called and got him on the phone.

"Hi Brig! How are you?' I asked.

"Hi Mom! I'm not missing you. I'm not missing you at all."

Well, apparently he doesn't get Mom-sick.

Man's Best Friend

So glad I didn't listen when Hubs said a stuffed dog was too girly of a toy for my 5 year old.

Pshaw...

The mind of a four year old boy....

I came down the stairs, dressed and ready for work.

"Are you wearing that?" my four year old asked with a disgusted look on his face.

"Yes I am, why?" I answered, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Mom," ...deep sigh...."you are going to be so embarrassed."

"Why is that?" I asked, while inspecting my vest for food or other unwanteds.

"Because it's pink!"

The WC

The term "water-closet" was an early term for an interior or exterior room with a toilet.

We call ours a bathroom.

I use the term "we" loosely because apparently my boys think that they have a water closet in their very own bedroom. An on-suite, if you will.

They, along with several of their cousins, have been "using" their closet.

I couldn't figure out where the urine smell was coming from. I cleaned the mattresses. I cleaned the sheets. I washed the clothes. And yet the smell remained.

Finally, last week as I was complaining about not being able to figure out where the smell was coming from, Briggy says, matter-of-factly, "It's probably because we went pee in the closet."

You think?

I won't tell you that Camden came in this morning saying, "Mommy. Did you know that Briggy just went pee in our vent."

Slapping forehead! Sigh.....

Boys and their pee.

I am what I am...

"Wow, Briggy! You are eating another plum? You are a plum guy!"

"Yeah. I know. That's because I am a fruit!"

...because that's what I really want.

I love the smell of cinnamon.

Cinnamon gum. Cinnamon rolls. Cinnamon candles. Cinnamon husbands...you name it, I love it. Heck if I could marry it, I would! The smell that is....I already have a husband. He doesn't smell like cinnamon, but he has other qualities that make up for what he lacks.

Poor Hubs.

So as you can imagine, I like my house to smell like cinnamon. There are many ways to go about accomplishing that goal.

Making the c-rolls. Boiling a cinnamon concoction all day on the stove. Air-sprays. Plug-ins. Oils. Candles.

But today, my friends, I have discovered, quite by accident, another way of filling your home with that amazing aroma. Okay, so I can't take full credit for this discovery. Nope, my 4 year old and his Spidey-Build-a-Bear should get most of the credit.

All I did was light my bright, red cinnamon candle and put it in my archway and let it burn for about 2 hours.

Briggy then decided that it was time for Spidey to learn how to fly...minutes before we had to walk out the door.

Let me tell you....Spidey is a natural. He was doing an amazing job of flying until that dang candle got in the way. So Spidey decided to knock it over. All over....my light colored living room carpet.

Now the cinnamon smell and red stains remain on my carpet...and on my hands, my knees, half a roll of paper towels, 25+ lunch bags, my iron, and my rocking chair.

Needless to say, I am in HEAVEN!!!!

When there isn't enough time....

......

"I love you more than...

...my Spider-Man pajamas."

Wow! That's a lot of love!!

How I know he loves me?

"Mommy. Can I watch a movie?" he asked.

"You can. But first you have to give me a kiss and tell me one thing you love about mommy," I answered. Yeah, I know I was begging for some lovin', right?

He gave a kiss, stepped back and said, "I love you because I didn't pee my bed last night."

Not quite the compliment I was fishing for....(scratching my head.)...but hey, I'll take whatever his three year old heart deems worthy of admiration.

I hear voices

Did you know that urine lies.

Yeah. I know. I didn't think it had the capability to communicate, much less lie. But apparently it does.

You see, yesterday Briggy was complaining of a tummy-ache. So I helped him calm down and take a nap. Well, early this morning he came in crying of the same tummy ache...except the pain  was more in the bladder area.

He went to the bathroom. He came out crying saying, "Mommy. It hurts when I pee. It burns!" Okay, first of all, what three year old knows to describe pain as burning. I was impressed. Then I was worried. So I called and got him an appointment to be seen a little later today.

So when we got there they had him give them a urine sample. Those are always fun to get from a 3 year old. He thought it was fun to pee in a cup. I just didn't want to get peed on.

After we finished up and she had tested the sample, she came back in with the results.

"Well, his urine is telling us two things. First it is telling us that he (Brig) hasn't eaten breakfast..." she started.

Hold it right there. I saw him eat breakfast. Twice. Once when he woke up early and then again when we brought in the Krispy Kremes. I am sure there is some scientific name for urine that indicates a lack of breakfast. But no matter the name, I saw my child eat.

Lying urine.


PS. There was a small trace of protein in his urine. Could be something. Could be nothing. I'm betting on nothing. Lying urine...sheesh.

Didn't have a clue

He had it and I didn't even know it.

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.

It was more like Mild Fever, Cold Sore, Peeling Skin Disease.

The first night he came in with a slight fever. I drugged him up, made him the bed on the floor of my room, and sleep he did. We watched him. He was a little grouchy...that's not abnormal for him...so we kept him on meds for a day or two, but then he seemed okay.

Then a few days later, his lips started to look chapped. Out came the chapstick. Only the chapping seemed to turn into cold sore looking things. But that is a normal thing here. We live in a high desert. Chapped lips are part of the deal. They lasted about a week.

I was showing my sister-in-law his cold sores and she said maybe it was Hand Foot and Mouth Disease.

Inconcievable!

But then a few days later I see him pulling at something on his foot. Sure enough...there is skin peeling off his foot. Toes. Heels. How did I miss this? I mean, hello!!

Yup. He had it, alright.

And I didn't even know.

Fan-stinkin-tastic

He's a winner!

He pulled up his shorts, called my name and looked at me like this...



Hilarious, right?
"You wascally wabbit!" came to my mind.

PS...do any of you Instagram? My sister-in-law introduced me to it and I love it!! Do you?

Picasso's got nothing on my kids.

I have very creative children.

Most children, when making an art project will use crayons. Markers. Paint.

Not mine.

Well, that's not true. They do use those things. I know this because I have cleaned all of the above off of my walls in my house.

But I think my kids have taken art to a whole new level.

As I was making lunch the other day, I turned around to find my two youngest had removed the bologna from their sandwiches and were now plastering them to the sliding glass door. In all different shapes.

I tried to get a picture so you wouldn't think I was making this up...I am not that creative...but by the time I got my camera, they had consumed their masterpieces.

Let's not talk about the many many reasons this is disturbing and disgusting. Let's not go there.

Oh, the many uses of bologna.

Creative indeed.

A smile on my face

I really am not a vulgar person. But this was not what I expected to see when I went to the zoo with my first grader. But see it we did. Always makes for good conversation on the way home.

Can I just say YAY!? I am so happy to be done with soccer. No more scrambling to find uniforms, socks, shin guards, shoes, balls, water bottles, etc. Can you tell it was time? So time.

Ain't he cute?!?! He is my baby...you know...the one who forgot how to be potty trained. I wish he would remember.  

It was free comic book day. Kobe has just started to get into them. This was Grandpa Captain America and a much older and wider Thor. Funny. But if you haven't seen Avengers yet, you must! I am not kidding! It really is that good!!

"First off, you have only been there once. Today. How are you a valued customer?"

"Secondly, it's only a good deal if you are shopping for rims." 

"And $70 is not practically free."  

Happy Mother's Day to you all!!

I'm talking really tired.

Most people know they are tired based on the number of hours they have slept.

Some base it on the color and depth of the rings around their eyes.

Others judge it by the amount of energy they have to carry them through their day.

Still others know they are tired by the amount of patience they have with their children...or  lack thereof.

Me?

I know I am tired when I roll over and there is a child in my bed and I can't remember how he got there. But I know I am REALLY tired when said child reeks of urine and I don't even notice it until Hubs points it out.

When will potty training end.....

If that doesn't motivate you to have children, I don't know what will.

Behind closed doors

Hubs and I were going through the toys upstairs....there are many of them. Too many. Hence the "going through."

Briggy, our baby, was also going through the toys. For different reasons. We were trashing.  He was salvaging. Such the little helper.

One of the things he salvaged was a gun. No, not a real gun. What kind of mother do you take me for?? It was a Nerf gun. The cheap kind. The cocking mechanism was broken, meaning if you pulled it back, there was no guarantee that it would stay cocked.

Briggy found this out the hard way. You see, he isn't quite strong enough to cock the gun using his hands. Instead, he uses his mouth. And since the cock didn't stick, he pinched his lips with the gun. It was painful. He bled. Then he cried.

Then he tried it again.

Hubs tried to explain to him that he needed to stop so that he wouldn't get hurt. Then he tried it again. I tried to reason with him. Then he tried it again. After a little while, he walked into his brother's room and locked the door.

I asked him, "Briggy. Why are you locking the door?"
"Because I don't want you to see me biting the gun," he responded.

A few minutes later, he calls out,"I'm biting the gun again!"

The kid can't lie...or keep a secret for that matter. I love it!

This day has finally arrived.

We have poop, people! And I am so happy!!

Yes, I know that sounds a little disturbing if you've never had children. But for those of you who have...you can understand my enthusiasm at seeing poop in the pot.

Yesterday it was not in the pot. It was in the pants. Twice. Less than enjoyable.

But today, all on his own, with only about a billion bribes, he did it. He made it. To the pot. In the pot. And I am doing the poopie dance...still.

This is it for me. The last time I will have to debate whether the undies are worth saving or not. Because let's face it, sometimes it's worth the $6 just to not have to do the dip-and-swish. 

I've got a few more days to go, but we are over the poop in the pot stage. For whatever reason, that seems to be a little scary. (Not as scary as the alternative...at least in my opinion...but then again I am not 3 years old.)

And so today marks the first day of the rest of my life.

Well, at least my diaper-less life. I'll take it!

What have I done?

It's the end of the world as we know it...at least in our house.  Let me explain.

For 10 years I have been cutting hair in my house. Not because I am good.  I am not good at all. It is just that their hair is really blond and so any mistakes are unnoticable and so they think I am great, I am a cheapskate so I think it is pretty great too.

Then this weekend happened...

I DO NOT cut Kyla's hair. I want my daughter to love me always. I leave the cutting to others so she can dislike them when it doesn't turn out right. This weekend Kyla needed a trim. Kobe needed to get something from Target and so we made one trip. Kobe needed a haircut so we just had him get one while he was there.

Big mistake...

Don't get me wrong. His hair looks awesome. It is now styled and cute... But the problem is this: He was introduced to PRODUCT!

I didn't think it was gonna be a big deal. But then we had to buy our own to take home. And now his younger brothers have seen the product awesomeness and have all decided that they need it too.

Vanity is running rampid in our house. They are so dang cute with PRODUCT in their hair even I can't stop myself!! Just look at them.

What is a mother to do? It was all my doing and it can't be undone. Once they have had a taste of PRODUCT there is no turning back.

What have I done? What HAVE I done??