The real reason I came to Utah

Any news

The bad news is I only have one more day at Women's Conference.

The good news is my children were alive when I called this morning. Always a good thing.

The bad news is I got a minimal amount of sleep last night.

The good news is I wasn't at home when my baby wet the bed at 3am and had to wake up Daddy to clean up the mess.

The bad news is I'm not sure he will. Clean it. Sigh.

End of good news.

Can you guess?

(just a heads up. I'm blogging from my phone. There will be no colored words and pictures may or may not end up where I tell them to go...sigh)

You should know I have left my husband.

Abandoned my children.

The dogs are on their own.

It was time.

Time to go away.

And where have I gone?

Here's some clues.

Go ahead and guess.

I Learned it From My Kids: You're not going to believe this

His homework was ruined. Totally, utterly, and completely ruined.

"Mom! How could you let this happen?" he irrationally asked. Remember, tween.

"Me? How could I let this happen? So I was the one who didn't put your homework in your backpack? Instead I left it on the chair? That was me?" I asked.

There was nothing he could say except, "What am I supposed to do? I have to turn it in today."

"I am Mom! I can fix anything," I reminded him.

You see, for whatever reason, after he was done with his homework, he decided that instead of putting it in his backpack or even on the kitchen table, he was going to put it on the dining room chair.

No big deal, right?

Yeah, no big deal...until this morning when everyone gathered for breakfast. No big deal until his potty-training brother chose to stand on the chair that held his homework. No big deal until said brother decided he didn't want to be potty trained at the moment.

We are talking the first release of the morning. All over the chair. All over the floor. And consequently, all over Kobe's "Fraction and Decimal" homework. 

A little of blow drying and a lot of Lysol and the homework was saved.

So, what did I learn?

First, I learned that if we don't take care of those things that are important to us, people are going to pee all over them.

If I really believe that our bodies are temples, then shouldn't I avoid viewing media that promotes the exploitation of them?

If I believe that sex is sacred and should be saved for marriage, then shouldn't I turn off any music, movie or TV show that treats it with complete disrespect?

If family is of extreme importance, then shouldn't I make it my top priority and eliminate all the unnecessary distractions?

The world is just standing there with its pants down waiting...waiting to pee on whatever is important to us. So let's not let them! Lets put our treasures up up where no-one can ruin them.

The second thing I learned was that potty trainers should go to the bathroom as soon as they wake.

What did you learn from your kids this week? If you want to share, link up. 

Who doesn't like a good party?

Welcome to my blog! I would have invited you to my house house, but that would require some major cleaning and that doesn't happen at my house. But my blog? Totally clean.

Kids? Do I have kids? Just look at my body. You can't get a body like this without some sacrifice. And sacrifice my body I did. 5 times over: four boys, one girl and 2 dogs. Wait, I didn't give birth to the dogs, but he has still managed to make his way onto my kids list. Love them all to death!

I am married to a man who doesn't hear a word I say. Literally. You see, Hubs is Deaf. Not death. That would just be weird. DeaF, meaning you can scream in his ears and he will hear nothing. I actually have a whole series about some of my experiences being married to a Deaf man...see the tab at the top.

Me? I'm Stef. I'm a little sarcastic, quite a bit silly, somewhat annoying, and a lot tired. Besides trying to keep my house from imploding, my kids from starving, Hubs from straying (he would never), my dogs from accidenting, I also work as a sign language interpreter. Needless to say, the only time I have alone is in the bathroom and even then...well...you know how that goes. Ahem...moving on....

I can't promise that you will find cutesy crafty things on this blog. In fact, I can promise you won't. I am not a extraordinary cook. My kids don't starve and that in and of itself is saying a lot. My walls aren't filled with amazing pictures...my kids are my masterpieces. Just look at them.

The only thing that I can promise is a good laugh.

What else is there in life... besides God... oh and family...oh yeah, and sports, and...and....okay! Okay! So there is more to life than laughing, but laughing makes life that much better.

So come on back anytime. Love to have ya!!

Linking up with Ultimate Blog Party. You should too.

So I Married a Deaf Man: Why is that funny?

This weekend my children watched Napoleon Dynamite.  They loved it.

I hate it.

I watched it when it first came out on video in 2000...something. I was really excited because everyone was talking about how hilarious it was. And how the best part was at the end of the movie so I had to make sure I watched it to the end.

That should have been a red flag. If it is a good movie, is there ever any doubt that you are going to watch it all the way to the end? I mean, really?

So we turned it on...and I kid you not, within the first 6 minutes, Hubs was asleep. So I had to endure it...all alone. To the awesome end...that wasn't awesome.

Now understand, I get why people think that show is hilarious. It's because of the way Napoleon says things. His voice. Inflection. Mannerisms. Then you take Napoleon-isms and you repeat them with your husband or your friends or your whoever, who has also seen the movie. That's fun.

Okay, so now imagine you are married to someone who only reads the words. There is zero affect. There is no inflection. There is just words. And the words, without sounds, really aren't that funny.

Really.

"Gosh!"

*Side note. I will admit that since watching the movie with my kids, I have found it quite a bit funnier than the first time. Mostly because I hear them quoting the movie back and forth. And it is funny.

I would like to thank the Academy...

Just a few pictures of things that made me smile this week.

Brody drew this picture during art and it was chosen to be displayed at the state "Elementary Art" exhibit. He is in 1st grade. I was really impressed, and proud. And those are some dang good horses. 

Briggy was showing me how shiny his teeth are after getting them cleaned. Always a good sign when they smile at the end of a dentist visit.

This was lunch with my sweet daughter. Us girls have to stick together. I was tempted to ask the waitress for those cheater chopsticks as well, but decided a fork was much faster.

And check this out! Who would've thunk it? How did this happen? Honestly, I think by nominating another coach for this award (which I did) my name was put in the running (which I didin't knowwould happen.) Or maybe someone thought I was the most awesome coach ever. Regarldless of how it happened, it put a smile on my face for sure!

What go you smiling last week?

Stupid Farmville

I once played Farmville,
I admit.
For about a month
That was it.

After work,
to help me sleep.
My vegetables,
I would reap.

I do not plow,
plant or sow.
Time for that,
I have no more.

But why, oh why,
oh why, oh why
won't my friends
just let it die?

I kid you not
every day,
Facebook friends
ask me to play.

My plants are dead,
there is no crop.
What do I do
to make them stop?

Their invites pester
me all day.
I wish I had
guts to say: 

I don't play Farmville anymore!!
Please stop inviting me!!

the end

Linking up with Jen's Saturday Centus

I Learned It From My Kids: Go with your gut

She was being ridiculous.

We were rushing, trying not to be late to Kobe's band concert. I was hustling, getting on shoes, coats, and everyone loaded in the car. By myself.

She was being ridiculous.

"Mom, what if the house catches on fire while we are gone?" she asked.

"The house isn't going to catch on fire. Can you please get your shoes and coat on and hop in the van?" I asked.

She put on her shoes.

"Do you think if I leave Doggy (her special stuffed animal) she would catch fire too?" She was really concerned.

"Honey, the house isn't going to catch on fire. There is no reason for it to. Please get your coat," I pleaded.

She put her coat on, but continued to be concerned.

"Mommy, I just feel scared that the house is going to catch on fire," she told me just moments later.

"Kyla, the house is not going to catch on fire. I can't smell gas at all. We don't have a fireplace so there is are no open flames in the house. The dryer is not running," I reasoned.

"Do you promise the house won't catch on fire?" she asked.

"No, honey. I can't promise that it will not catch fire. But I can tell you that the chances of our house catching fire are next to zero. Our house will not be catching fire tonight. Please go get in the car."

"Okay, Mommy," she replied started for the car.

As I was buckling Brig into his car seat, I look over at the door and there Kyla was, struggling to get into the car. I could see the conflict on her face. Worrying about the house catching fire and not wanting to upset me. She was honestly worried that the house was going to go into flames.

So, in order to ease her stress and show her that there was nothing to worry about, I went back into the house. I noticed some lights on upstairs and went up to turn them off. On the way down, I happened to glance at the stove. Wouldn't you know it, one of the burners was on, flames and all. I had made lasagna for dinner and had apparently felt it needed to be simmered....all. night. long.

Could that have burned the house down? Maybe not. But because my daughter felt promptings that something wasn't right, we thankfully will never have to know.

Both of us learned a lesson that night. She learned that Lord speaks to her through quiet whisperings and impressions. The world calls it our "gut" feelings. We call it the Holy Spirit. She learned that there was a reason for those feelings and because she had listened to them, our lives were blessed.

I learned that the Lord speaks to all of us. But the key is listening. Often I get so busy with the busy that I forget to listen to the feelings or nudges from my Father. He wants to guide and protect my life and family, but he needs me to have a listening ear/heart/ gut.

Thank you, Daughter, for reminding me of this lesson.


What did you learn from your kids this week? Wanna share? Link up. I'm gonna keep this link open until Monday night. I would love to read about yours.

So I Married a Deaf Man: What does that even mean?

In our house, we have plblms and hegaches.

Do you have those?

What about 'buckle me off's'?

And finish haves?

What are those things?

Well, those are all things that come when you have a Deaf daddy. Okay, well, I don't have a Deaf daddy, but my kids do so that means I have them in my house.

I have mentioned before how Hubs rarely will use his voice if he doesn't know you very well. But he knows our kids...duh...so he talks. And they learn to talk some of their words the same way Daddy does.

So when they say "I have a plblm," they mean, "I have a problem."

When they say "I have a hegache," they mean, "I have a headache."

In addition, I often hear them speaking ASL grammar. In fact I often get humg up on that too. Is it 'more fun' or 'funner'? Is it 'best' or 'worse better'? It sometimes makes my head want to explode. Lucky for me I can usually convince the head that exploding isn't a good option. So far.

So when at my house and you hear, "Daddy buckle me off" that means "Daddy unbuckled me."

And when you hear, "I finish have dinner" that means, "I already ate dinner."

Just some of the quirkiness that happens in our house. We aren't talking jibberish. It really means something. At least to us.

Now, when you come over and hear, "I finish have hegache. I buckle me off can't. That's a plblm," you will know exactly what we are saying....

....more better.

Understatement

Understatements:

A life without green chili isn't worth living.

I have cute kids.

Cooked raisins are gross.

"The Book Thief" is a really good book.

Urine smell does not come out of grout.  (Don't ask how I know this.)

Laundry is never finished.

He needs some new shoes.

Ya think???

Understatement

Linking up with Jen Matlock's ABC Thursday!

Say "Ahhhhhhhhhhh"

How much money does the tooth fairly leave for your teeth.

After a few disappointing mornings of that fairy forgetting...she usually scraps together some change..rarely totalling more than $1. And that's on a good day.

So you can imagine my surprise when my son got $120 for his tooth this morning. Right?

What? How did this happen?

Last night, Kobe came into the room, a little frantic, "Mom! I was flossing my teeth and one of my teeth broke!!"

"Let me see," I said. Wonderful! This is the same tooth that we had paid money to a not-so great dentist to cap a few years ago. I am thinking it's another crappy job and now there is decay underneath. Root canal keeps haunting my brain.

"Does it hurt?" I asked. "Not too bad," he answered then went to bed.

Some time between 9:30pm and 6:45am the pain arrived. He couldn't bite because the tooth was too low. It was throbbing and he was nearing tears. So he popped an ibuprofen and I called the dentist who happens to be Kobe's Sunday School teacher, but that's irrelevant.

Into the dentist we went.

The dental assistant took an x-ray. She took a look at it and said, "Ummm, I think he is just losing a tooth. See, there is the baby tooth...falling out. And there is the new tooth."

What the??? Serious? I have 5 kids! How did I overlook the possibility that this tooth could just be a baby tooth being pushed out by the permanent?

The dentist comes in and does a little wiggling this way, "Does this hurt?" and a little wiggling that way, "What about that?" and !pop! out comes the tooth. Simple. No shots. No drilling. No root canal!

"There ya go Kobe. Here's your tooth. Put it under your pillow so the tooth fairy can leave you some money," he reminded. "Ha ha ha..." we laughed.

We laughed all the way to the cashier. End of laughing.

I can hear Kobe now. "Mom! The tooth fairy didn't leave me any money for my tooth."

"Oh, yes she did. See that piece of paper that says $120? That's what she paid for your tooth. Hahaha!"



ps But I am grateful it wasn't a root canal and that we basically just paid for the x-ray. He really is a great dentist!!

I Learned It From My Kids: Coloring outside the lines

My 6 year old had a birthday last week. And as birthdays go, he got some great gifts. One of those great gifts was some really cool markers and coloring pages. The kids tore right in to them.

I noticed some of my children paying special attention to coloring within the lines. A lot of time and effort was put into making their page look just right. By the end of the night, their pages looked perfect but their numbers were few.

While some of my other children were filling the page with colors...with zero regard for the lines. Lines, ehh. Their pages were many. Many pages filled with many colors.

Both groups of kids had fun. Both were happy as could be. Both were equally satisfied with the work they had performed.

Here is the lesson I learned.

I spend a lot of my time worrying about staying in the lines. Correction. I spend a lot of my time wishing that I could stay in the lines. Wishing that my house were cleaner. That my life was more organized. That more of my time was my own.

But that isn't my life.

My life is not about staying in the lines. At least not at this point. Nope. Mine is to be filled with the colors of my family. Lots of colors. All over the place. Sometimes in the lines, but most of the time over, out and through them.

I learned from watching my little scribblers that I can be just as happy coloring outside the lines as I thought I would be if I were coloring within them. And when you do, ignore the lines a little, you can fill more pages with color.

Someday I will color within the lines and make my home as clean and as organized as can be, and I will have time to do it. But for now, I am filling my heart with the colors of my life, the scribbles of my children, the highs and lows of marriage, the trials that make me stronger, the demands of motherhood, all things that lead me outside the lines...to where my joy is. 

Oh the power of a scribble.

What did your kids teach you?

Link up if you like:

(At this moment, I can't get the linky tool to work. So I am going to try it in the morning. Hopefully it will work. :))

Tdap smack

My 12 year old has to get the Tdap shot. Right in the rooster. At least that's what I am telling him because it is really fun to watch him squirm.

"Am I gonna have to pull down my pants?" he asks uncomfortably.
"Yessiree. To the ankles, my boy."  Mean, I know.

So I called to get an appointment. Because we are in between insurances now, I wanted to know how much it was going to cost me.

"Well, some doctors, if they know you are self-pay will give you the free shot and charge you the $12 administration fee. While others will give you the regular shot which costs $35 plus a $35 administration fee," she explained.

Huh?

I understand the name brand shot costing more. That's just common sense

"Why in the world does it cost more to administer the name brand shot than it does the generic?"  I am pretty sure the same nurse will be administering whatever shot I choose. She will be walking the same distance from the medicine cabinet to our room. You can count on them giving the same standard circle band-aid that they give for every shot. It's pretty basic. Pretty much aim and shoot, right?

Of course I would go with the cheaper shot...right? But then I got to thinking...maybe there is something special that makes the second shot worth the extra $60 that they aren't telling us about.

 Like, maybe it turns your skin green for a few hours. But that wouldn't make sense because the shot is in the rump and who are you gonna show. "Hey, Best Friend! I got this really cool shot. It changes my skin green. Wanna see?"

No. Not worth the extra money.

Well, maybe it is a stronger dose. So strong that you are guaranteed not to get sick for 2 years. But what doctor's office would do that? Hello! They would lose money. And with my family, lots of it. Yeah, not good for business. I doubt they would offer that.

Maybe they give you a drink of water after the shot? A $60 cup of water? What? They do that all the time in the hospital after you have a baby. "You want some apple juice with ice? No problem. A binkie for your baby? Sure. An extra blanket, no problem." Yeah, no problem until you see the bill.

So pretty much it was a no brainer. We are getting the $12 shot.

Right in the gooser!

Hooking up with Jen Matlock's ABC Thursday...the letter T. 

**Reminder: Tomorrow is "I Learned It From My Kids" hook up. If you wanna link a post to mine, you will have the opportunity. 

So I Married A Deaf Man: King Lotharon

You know King Lotharon, right?

From Princess Bride? Prince Humperdink's healthstricken father who only mumbles? That's the one. This really is one of the funny parts of the book. What? You haven't read the book? Oh, my. You are really missing out...because not only is it funnier than the movie, you get to hear what the characters are thinking.

Genius!

Anywhoo. The relationship between King Lotharon and his Queen Bella is great. It reminds me of Hubs' and my relationship at times.

From the book

Prince Humperdinck: "Who do I marry? Let's pick a bride and get it done."

King Lotharon: "I've been thinking it's really getting to be about time for Humperdinck to pick a bride." But  what everyone heard was "I've beee mimbbble mumbble Humpmummmble engamumble."

Queen Bella: "You couldn't be righter, dear."

P.H: "What did he say?"

QB: "He said whoever we decided on would be getting a thunderously handsome prince for a lifetime companion."

Wow! Not even close.

See. It would totally stink to have to depend on someone to talk for you...all the time. Hubs totally gets that. Whether he is calling someone on the phone, giving a presentation in class or hanging out with friends. Unless the people are deaf, Hubs has someone there...saying what he is saying...signing.  

Most times that is me.

The flip side of that is that sometimes it stinks always being the person who says what he is saying. Whether you want to or not. (Although I have already admitted to you all here that I don't always do that.) But sometimes it is fun.

Hubs teaches the adult Sunday School at church. And though we have interpreters for the other classes, I usually am the one interpreting for his lesson. Unlike Queen Bella, I do interpret what Hubs says. Always.

But I may add a little "Stef Spice." A word or two...just to make things interesting. Then Hubs looks out to the crowd and they are laughing. He knows he didn't say something funny. Then he looks to me and shakes his head.

I know I shouldn't. And when I am working, really working...you know...for money....I never add Stef Spice. Ever. But when it's Hubs...

...I simply can't resist.

I Learned It From My Kids

"What have you had to give up for your significant other."

That was the prompt from Mama Kat's weekly Writer's Workshop that inspired my "So I Married a Deaf Man" series. I read that prompt and really dug deep trying to answer that question.

And then I cried. (Remember, I do that a lot.)

Not because I felt like I had lost so much and was now having an identity crisis  But because marrying who I did, who I chose, had changed my life dramatically. How could I write about that in one post:. Fit all that emotion, both funny and frustration, highs and lows, grumbles and grins, all in one post? How? What had I given up? I actually haven't been able to write a post that answers that exact question...yet.

But I must say that I have found a lot of joy in writing that series. It has been fun. And I actually have come to realize that we, Hubs and I, really aren't all that different. Just extreme. With a splash of uniqueness.

But that isn't what this post is about. Nope. You see, I have been inspired again. By none other than Mama Kat. "Name something that you can learn from your child."

There was no way I could honestly answer that question in one post. Heck, I learn something new from my kids everyday. Some of them are funny. Some of them are interesting. And some of them are down right inspirational.

Bada-Bing! A new series was born. "I Learned It From My Kids."

Surely you can relate, right? Don't we all learn things from our kids? So I thought I would share mine with you. Oh and hey, guess what. You can share yours with me too. That's right, I am going to try to have a linky...unless no-one else wants to share and then I will just talk about me.

I'm good at that. Hence this blog.

What do ya think? Wanna join me?

Fridays. Here. With your kids....or at least their stories.