Bet you can't guess....

Having five kids means you eat a lot of food. No, wait. That sounds like the more you eat the more kids you have. I am pretty sure that's not how it happens.

Erase. Erase.

Having five kids means we eat a lot of food. Not individually, though I wonder sometimes. But I am talking about as a group, we consume a bunch of food. Because of this,  a substantial amount of money is spent on food. It is second only to rent.

Yeah, I know. Told ya. Lots of food. Searching for deals is a must for a wise mother of five. Right?

So any guesses what I paid for this bunch of food?

$56??

$5??

Nope. Wrong again. My whopping total was......

$215.

Yup, that's right. I have never claimed to be a wise mother. A mother of five children, yes. Absolutely. No denying that one, no matter how much I suck in. But wise? No. At least not when it comes to bargains.

Who has the time? I mean...I don't. I barely have time to go potty twice a day...so cutting coupons is totally out of the question. Plus, I think I might get sucked into "GREAT DEAL"s on things that I wouldn't normally buy.

Glade Plug-ins...not really something I buy. "But you can get them for $0.75 each if you buy 20!" But I don't use them. Ever. So if I got 20, I would have to find a place to store them and that would mean getting rid of one of my children and can you imagine the Mommy guilt that would accompany trading your child for Glade Plug-ins? I mean, which child would I choose?

Okay, so I might know which one...but that's not the point!!

Couponing is just not for me. I do, however, take advantage of my friends who coupon and are the best bargain shoppers! I haven't had to buy contact solution for about a year now because of my friend Susan. She gets them for free and then gives them to me. Sweet.

Is that wrong? Rude? Unfriend-like. You don't mind, do you Susan? Which of my children do you want? How's that for payback???

Nah, I'll keep my $200/week food bill.

Can't risk losing my friend Susan....er...I mean my child.

What about you? Do you coupon?


Linking up with Jenny's ABC Thursday.  

"Why I Otta"

We ditched. Just like I said we would.

And this is what we watched.

Let me just say I haven't laughed that hard in a movie for a while. I loved it!

Understand, it wasn't the best plot. Nor was it the best story line. But when were they ever? I grew up watching The Three Stooges. Saturday mornings with my dad. "Nyack..Nyack..Nyack" was a common sound in our house. They were just so silly and unbelievable. That's why I loved them.

I thought it was hilarious!! Just like old times!!

Have you seen it? Did you love it???

He's a winner!

He pulled up his shorts, called my name and looked at me like this...



Hilarious, right?
"You wascally wabbit!" came to my mind.

PS...do any of you Instagram? My sister-in-law introduced me to it and I love it!! Do you?

Pictures without words

Some people...

...just don't know when to stop.

This picture....literally worth a thousand words.

Time to stop.

...although I do like the license plate!

How to clean your house....

They are supposed to be friends. I mean, that's why God sent them to us so close togther. Right?

Brody and Camden...the un-friends.

They always seem to be fighting or being mean or crying. Well, yesterday I had had enough.

"Because you can't seem to talk nicely to each other, you are now no longer allowed to talk to each other for 30 minutes. Talking to each other will be cause for extra jobs."

You should see my bathroom. Oh how it sparkles!

After the final rose...

Surely none of you watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette, right? You would never.

I know I would never!

...never DVR it so I could watch it later.
...never watch after I got home from work at midnight so that my children don't know I watch that kind of smut.
...never wished that Ben would cut his dang hair.
...never think that the helicopter rides have been overused.

See, never.

But I do, however, know that they hand out roses to those individuals they feel they can't live without...until next week, when they realize there really was not chemistry...or so I've heard.

That got me thinking...what are some things that I would give a rose to...things I can't live without. Of course we start with the three givens: God. Family. Air.

But here are the other Top 10 worthy of a rose....

My iphone. Everything I know is on that phone...Even things I don't know. It's so smart. If you don't have one, how do you live without it...I mean...really?

Our trampoline. I can't tell you how much time my children spend on that thing. When we move...which we hope will be soon...we will have to leave it. It is one of those in-the-ground tramps. Love it..but what am I going to do without it??

Extra Winter fresh Gum.I have loved this gum since high school...you know...back when gum was first invented. It's cool and refreshing...like me...except I'm not blue...or chewy...or wrapped in foil-like paper. I like it because it keeps its flavor for a long time and  keeps my breath fresh. But mostly I like it because it is the only gum my kids won't sneak from my purse.

Jeans. It's what I wear. They can be long, Capri, shorts...it doesn't matter. Just give me my jeans and I am one happy camper.

Sleep. No, wait. I have been living without that for the past 12 years. I don't think I would know what to do if I actually got a decent night's sleep.

Scotch sponges. You know them. The yellow ones with green scrubbers on the back. Yeah, I love them. They can pretty much get off everything.

Allrecipes. It has everything. Really...it does.

DVR. Best invention ever. Now I can watch The Bachelor anything I want whenever I want. I can skip the teasers and commercials. If I miss something or just want to watch it again I can go back. Pause? Yup. Such a great technology.

Pancakes. What would I do without them. They are my go to food when I can't think of anything to make for dinner. Here's the recipe I use. So yummy.

Socks. I love them. Partly because they protect my feed from the stuff that is on my kitchen floor. Partly because they snuggle my feet...add a little cushion. But mostly I like socks because when my teenager puts his on, I don't have to smell his feet.

So what do you say, my inanimate objects? Will you accept my rose? No? Too bad, you are here to stay.

What about you? What would you give a rose to?

Zee End...

Yeah, I don't make my kids go to school.

Because I am cool like that. What's the point? It's not like they learn anything.

What? Horrible mother!? Oh,wait.  I may need to clarify. What I meant to say was that I don't make my kids go to school on the last day of school. Better?

Why? I have my reasons.

For starters, there isn't going to be any learning happening that day. How do I know this? Because the non-learning has already started. Each of my children, and I am not exaggerating, have at least 2 parties and a play date in the next 10 days. Yeah no learning.

Plus the teachers are practically begging them to stay. Heck, they told them, "If you come on Tuesday, we are just going to be cleaning the room." And we all know what kind of power a phrase like "clean our room" has on children. They run away. Far away.

I don't think the school district wants my kids to come to last day of school. Heck, they made the last day of school the day after Memorial Day. Are you kidding me?? I know it was a snow day, but why not make school start one day earlier to avoid it becoming a sluff day.

But the real reason we ditch? I want a jumpstart to my summer!! Plus, it's become a family tradition...our own family party. We sleep in...or at least I they try...or some of us do. We usually go watch the latest movie, clean movie...in an actual theatre. Fun times had by all.

Do you make your kids go?

Sky City

Growing up in New Mexico, when anyone would visit, we were always sure to visit some type of Indian ruins. Aztec, Chaco, Mesa Verde, Salmon Ruins.

You could say that my childhood ruined me.  Or at least ruined me out.

That being said, today I went with my daughter and her class to the Acoma Pueblo. Have you heard of it? Yeah, I hadn't either. But it is pretty amazing.

Yeah, I know. That just looks like a pretty cool land formation in the middle of nowhere. Right? But look a little closer:

A little closer....

An actual villiage. On top of the rock. And the cool thing is that some of the Acoma people still live there.

The field trip was wonderful. We had a great tour guide. He seemed to know a lot of information about the history of the pueblo and a lot of the legends of his people. Here was my favorite:

When the Acoma people came into the area, they were looking for a place to dwell. The came to one formation and began check it out to see if it was the right place for them. There were two women who had climbed the ladders up to the top of the rock. While up there, the rest of the tribe decided this was not to be their home. They took down the ladders and left, not realizing the 2 women were still on top. The women decided that instead dying from starvation, they would jump off the cliff. And they did. Except right before they hit the ground they bodies exploded into a million butterflies. So if you are near that land formation and you see a butterfly, remember those two women who were left behind.

I will have to remember that when I am about to explode from frustration. "Don't stress. The worst thing that will happen is I will explode into butterflies. I can handle that."

Another interesting story he told us was after the conquistadors had invaded, they built a church. It is a very large and impressive church. However, once it was built, they were in need of a bell. So to get the much needed bell, the Spaniards traded 4 Acoma boys and 4 Acoma girls as slaves. For a bell!! What the.... Well, they have a cemetery that is just outside the church. It is surrounded by a wall. And in that wall, there is a hole...about the size of two softballs. This hole is so that the spirits of those children can come back home whenever they need to. I love it!

So if you are ever in this neck of woods, stop by the Acoma Pueblo...it's worth seeing. Then drive another hour to my place, which is not on top of a 300 foot mesa,  for some lunch. I would love to see ya!

(You can read more about the Acoma people here.)

Picasso's got nothing on my kids.

I have very creative children.

Most children, when making an art project will use crayons. Markers. Paint.

Not mine.

Well, that's not true. They do use those things. I know this because I have cleaned all of the above off of my walls in my house.

But I think my kids have taken art to a whole new level.

As I was making lunch the other day, I turned around to find my two youngest had removed the bologna from their sandwiches and were now plastering them to the sliding glass door. In all different shapes.

I tried to get a picture so you wouldn't think I was making this up...I am not that creative...but by the time I got my camera, they had consumed their masterpieces.

Let's not talk about the many many reasons this is disturbing and disgusting. Let's not go there.

Oh, the many uses of bologna.

Creative indeed.

A smile on my face

I really am not a vulgar person. But this was not what I expected to see when I went to the zoo with my first grader. But see it we did. Always makes for good conversation on the way home.

Can I just say YAY!? I am so happy to be done with soccer. No more scrambling to find uniforms, socks, shin guards, shoes, balls, water bottles, etc. Can you tell it was time? So time.

Ain't he cute?!?! He is my baby...you know...the one who forgot how to be potty trained. I wish he would remember.  

It was free comic book day. Kobe has just started to get into them. This was Grandpa Captain America and a much older and wider Thor. Funny. But if you haven't seen Avengers yet, you must! I am not kidding! It really is that good!!

"First off, you have only been there once. Today. How are you a valued customer?"

"Secondly, it's only a good deal if you are shopping for rims." 

"And $70 is not practically free."  

Happy Mother's Day to you all!!

May Day! May Day!

Do you have plans for the next three weeks?

I do. But these are not plans I made for myself. No, these plans were made for me, by the many teachers that my children have.

In the next three weeks either I or Hubs will be paying for, preparing and attending:

• two trips to the zoo
• a band concert
• a trip to the aquatic center
• Hootz
• Itz
• Acoma
• 3 field days
• end of the year music party
• and Kindergarten graduation.

 I know my kids love the month of May. But I, personally, wouldn't mind taking a nap. But as you can see...out of the question.

Ahhhh, May. Welcome!

I'm talking really tired.

Most people know they are tired based on the number of hours they have slept.

Some base it on the color and depth of the rings around their eyes.

Others judge it by the amount of energy they have to carry them through their day.

Still others know they are tired by the amount of patience they have with their children...or  lack thereof.

Me?

I know I am tired when I roll over and there is a child in my bed and I can't remember how he got there. But I know I am REALLY tired when said child reeks of urine and I don't even notice it until Hubs points it out.

When will potty training end.....

If that doesn't motivate you to have children, I don't know what will.

I Learned It From My Kids: I don't think that's what it says.

Scripture Power
Keeps me safe from sin.
Scripture Power
Is the power to win!
Scripture Power
Everyday I need
The power that I get
Each time I read!

Such a great song, right? Great message.

But when Briggy was singing it to me the other night, his scripture sounded like stripper.

Stripper Power
Keeps me safe from sin.
Stripper Power
Is the power to win!
Stripper Power
Everyday I need
The power that I get
Each time I weed!

Yeah. I know. Not quite the same inspiring message.

Today I learned the importance of pronunciation.

What did you learn from your kids this week? Do share. Link it up!

Changed

"This is going to change your life forever," he told me.

Really? That? That is going to change my life forever?

I can think of a lot of things that would change my life. Forever.

• Going on a mission for my church.
• Marrying a Deaf man. Changed my life forever.
• Having a baby. And then another. And another...five times. You can actually see that change.
• Seeing one of those children almost die and then watching God step in and save him. Life changing.

All of these things have changed my life.

I can only imagine that....

• ...death of my immediate family member would change my life.
• ...seeing my children move out on their own.
• ...empty nesting.
• ...being a grandmother.
• ...breaking a hip.

Life changing, right?

So when the guy in the booth at the mall told me that this was going to change my life....

.....I laughed.

So I Married a Deaf Man: World's Best?

Bwahahahaha!!! Hold on...let me...breath.... I found this to be hilarious rather interesting.

"Concentrate on watching the road." (Giggling) "...they see everything when they're at the wheel." (Chuckling) "...and can tell immediately if they should pull to the side of the road." (ROFL!)

Okay, sorry. But this has not been my experience. As in Not. At. All.

Sure, Hubs has gotten far less tickets that I have. But that's because cops don't give Hubs tickets. (You can read about the only ticket Hubs has received here.) Never mind that I have totaled two cars in our married life. This is not about me! No-one ever said I was the world's best driver!

Hubs is a good driver. But the "World's Best Driver"?? .....????...........???????

We had to borrow my parents' truck to use on our honeymoon. This was because the man who guaranteed he knew how to change our transmission and promised he could get it done before we got married...yeah, well...not so much. We gave him two weeks....he took four.

So we borrowed my parents' truck and off we went.

One day, we hopped into the truck and headed out. I had the map and was trying to navigate. Apparently I was not doing a sufficient job because Hubs started to navigate the map...while navigating the road. 

One thing you should know about Hubs is that he doesn't multi-task well. He is great about starting something and finishing it...most the time. But if I say something like, "Hey, while...(he hates that word)... you are upstairs replacing the toilet paper...(because that happens)...could you grab my book and bring down the laundry basket?", he starts to feel stress.

But on this day, the multi-tasking bug had got to him and multi-task he did. Mapping and driving. At the same time.

I was in love and believed he could do anything...and when I say anything I mean driving without his eyes on the road. Yes, not only had love made me blind, but it had taken all common sense from me. And him for that matter.

He was doing a pretty good job until this mile-marker appeared out of no-where. Okay, so it was on the side of the road like all mile markers, only we weren't on the road like we normally are. Lucky for us, Hubs look up in time and swerved. Unlucky for the the truck, it lost a side mirror that day.   

I wish I could say that was the last time something like that happened. But that would be lying. And I don't lie. Not about that, anyway.

So, is Hubs "The World's Best Driver"? Ummm..not so much. Maybe the "World's Best Multi-tasker"? That would be no.

"World's Best Hubs"?

Without a doubt!!