So I Married a Deaf Man IV: The Ticket!@$*!!

My husband had never gotten a ticket. Not in his whole life. I am not saying that he has never been pulled over, because he has. Plenty of times. But he had never been issued a ticket...until he married me.

It isn't because of his great smile...though he does have a GREAT smile. It isn't because his eyes are to die for. No, no. It isn't because he is a flirt because he SO isn't. It is because he is deaf. Let me describe what normally happens.

"Vrooom Vrrrroooom."  Hubs just speeding along without a care in the world.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeohhhhhhh." (Lights flashing)

The cop walks up to the window and my husband rolls it down.

"May I see your liscence and registartion please?" he asks.

My husband points to his ears and shakes his head.

"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....hold... hold on, HOLD ON!!"  He goes back to his car and returns with a pen and paper in hand.

The officer usually writes something like this, "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."

And that is it. Seriously. HIS WHOLE LIFE! Until he married me. Here is what happened.

Brian was driving along, we were chatting (via sign lanuguage...it freaks my dad out.) and suddenly the lights appear behind us. Great! I hate that feeling. So we pull over.

That cop appears at the window, asking for license and registration. My hubs points to his ears shaking his head, as usual.

"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....Hey, do you talk?" he asks me.

Because I have been taught not to lie and to respect poilicemen who risk their lives everyday to keep the roads safe, I answer "Yes." Then proceed to interpret for him while he gives my husband an $80 ticket.

What the heck!! Does he know how much it would have cost him to HIRE an interpreter? We are talking over $100 because they would have to have special certification and get paid a 2 hour minimum and mileage and an extra after hours/less than 24 hour notice fee?!?!?!!!! He should have been writing me a check before he walked away.

So the next time we were pulled over, my sister, her daughter and my son were in the car with us. I turn to her and I say, "Pretend like you are deaf. Do not say one word. If he asks you something, just pretend you can't hear him."

It worked! NO ticket!! Just "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."

Thank you Officer!!