My name is Stef and I am an attention addict. It is true. I love to be in a group of people and be the one that is making them all laugh. It's what I do...or did.
You see, since marrying my husband, things are a little more complicated. If we are in a group with deaf people or hearing interpreters, all is well. In fact, my sense of humor is a lot funnier in the Deaf community. Can you imagine...a funnier me? Hard to believe that I could get funnier that I am now. (harhar..snarf)
It's when we are in the company of all hearing people that things get tough. You see, at that point I become an interpreter, not me. I am the ears and voice for all around me. Church gatherings, family reunions, couples night out....work work work.
It's not so bad when it is one other couple. We are able to converse back and forth, no big whoop. However, when there is more than that, we are out of the conversation...out for the count. By the time I interpret a comment and Hubs is ready to jump in, the conversation has moved on...onto greener pastures...
Don't misunderstand, it isn't intentional. I think we, as hearing people, are uncomfortable with silence. And so, with the slight delay (and it is slight because I am pretty fast at the whole interpreting thing), or the moment of silence, we have to fill it. And fill it we do.
This can be frustrating for my husband, though he is probably the most patient, kind, even-keeled man I know. But for me, it makes me crazy. Not only am I trying to mediate between the two worlds...deaf and hearing...but I am also dying to participate.
I can still hear the conversation as it chugs along ahead of us. To jump in would only leave my husband out...but to keep my mouth shut is almost more than I can take. So many opportunities to throw in a clever line...or say something sarcastic. Instead...I interpret.
So many missed opportunities.
But on the flip side, my husband and I have had some great conversations with each other when this happens. We have each other, always each other...with no delays.
We are real time.
9 comments:
Honest. Real. Lovely.
It's almost like you're the OPPOSITE of George from Seinfeld. You have the right comment at the right time. . . . you just can't say it!
I totally understand. When I was hanging out with my friend, Roy, I spent a lot of time interpreting (though, admittedly, not professionally) and I would miss out on many opportunities in group situations.
Good for you for seeing the bright side.
real time - love that!
Hey, that's like how it is with me and my husband when we converse with Japanese people! Well, except everyone is part of the hearing people crowd... but many times when we are out and about and have to communicate in Japanese with people, my husband has to translate things to me in English. Often times, people just continue on the conversation with out us because it takes a while for my husband to figure out how to translate things to me. It's frustrating most of the time so I can kinda see where you're coming from...
uh...I pretty much stink at silence...So, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't get a word in with me either...I love this post.
The whole things sounds exhausting.
You are awesome!
For a time in college, I looked into becoming a deaf interpreter and was surprised when I discovered how much hearing people don't know how to communicate with the deaf. I can only imagine as a spouse how hard it would be to be interpreting and not have time to participate in the conversation. I've long since lost a lot of my sign language ability from lack of use, but I love the deaf community. I saw a deaf play in college and thought it was hilarious! I can totally see how you could be even funnier in sign! Beautiful post!
I luv your "deaf man" posts, cuz I can totally related!
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