"I'm not quite sure. I have never seen her before."
"Oh, wait. Isn't she Hub's wife?"
That is apparantly my new name. I took on two names when I married Hubs. Hub's-wife Burns. That's me.
You think I am kidding, but I so am not.
You see, without him, my connection to the Deaf community isn't strong enough to warrant full acceptance. But, because I am married to Hubs, I am tolerated to a higher degree. Appartenlty being Stef just isn't enough.
Oh, and it also isn't enough to just be married to a deaf man. Nope. You need to be either a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult or the more politically correct term is "Father Mother Deaf"), or an interpreter. Certified interpreter. Nationally certified interpreter.
Here is a typical conversation between hubs and other deaf friends:
"So, Hubs. Are you married?"
"Yes, I am married.
"She deaf?"
"No, she can hear."
"Really? Can she sign?"
"Yes. She is an interpreter."
"Wow! Cool."
Do I sound bitter? I am not. Not in the least. You see, my personality runneth over. They are gonna love me whether they like it or not. Usually within 2 or 3 months I have earned my own name back. I am that kind of person. Not overbearing at all.
It must be said that Hubs really is quite charismatic. Really. Not only is he good looking, but he is really friendly and people are drawn to him. Everyone loves Hubs. Everywhere we go. He is the one to be remembered.
Me, not so much.
So when people ask me, "Hey, aren't you Hub's wife."
I simply answer, "Why yes. Yes I am..."
"...Stef, I am."
12 comments:
Your husband sounds like a great guy!
You know what they say is behind every great guy?? ha ha
I think it is neat that you are an interpreter. A great talent.
In our church we have quite a few deaf families and quite a few interpreters that interpret every Sunday, even the music. I LOVE to watch them.
They even give classes on a weekly basis for anyone who wants to learn to sign.
These families are amazing. One in particular has 5 boys - both parents are deaf but all the boys can hear. They are just a neat family.
So I am wondering if you knew sign langauge before you met your husband or did you learn it after?
My DIL used to interpret for sacrament meeting and also in the public schools. She has three kids now though and hasn't done it for a while. Now, she says she's rusty.
I love to watch her sign. She really enjoyed her interaction with the deaf community, but she has said many times that it's a very distinct culture. Of course, I don't have to tell you that!)
=)
It's always interesting reading your stories about what it's like being married to a deaf man. I think it's pretty neat that you are capable of making a name for yourself in the deaf community as an interpreter and not just "hub's wife"...even if it takes a while for that to happen.
Ah, but you see, being Stef IS enough. Because your personality runneth over, as you say. I think you two are a well-matched pair. He's just got the advantage in the Deaf community.
That is cute and kind of funny.
At school I am Emily's Mom. Even on name tags that the teachers make for me. All of the other parents have real names, but not me. I must not be memorable either :-)
However, all of the kids call me Emily's mom, but they don't talk to or call the other moms anything. I guess i can't really imagine a 10 year old saying, Hey Erika, but Hey Emily's mom works better!
I think it makes you more amazing not being deaf, entering the deaf world and doing so with such grace and understanding. You tell them you are Stef and you are pretty wonderful :-)
As much as I admire Bry as a person, as a fellow deafie, I have to say I see you as STEF and always have! ;o) You're awesome!
I refer to my fiance as my "Superhero Sidekick" Is that wrong? *Giggles* -J
I am only ever "Curt's wife" -- that is my name sign -- even AFTER they get to know me. Sniffle. I always thought is was because "J" was difficult to use in a name sign. Not so. Now I know. You DO have an amazing and funny and wonderful personality. I am going to get right to work. :)
I love these stories. You've always got such a good (and funny) outlook.
My husband used to stand out like a big sore thumb when we went to Little People of America events. He was always one of the tallest there. As a couple, we were rare in the sense that in LPA, there aren't very many inter-spacial couples. He was always, "that tall guy with Georgina" so he probably knows exactly how you feel. Great post. I love reading your "So I Married a Deaf Man Series". - G
Oh Stef...you are right on. I remember going to Gallaudet University to visit my boyfriend...and it seemed the first question everyone would ask, "are you deaf too?"
You have such a great attitude! And I'm sure people love you right away!
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