2012 Favorites

Here is it. The easiest post of the whole year...right? Except that you have to read almost all your posts to choose your favorites. Well, here they are. Hope you enjoy them again.

 

If you don't have time to read them all again, just re-read Feb and Aug and Honorable Mention. Those are my mostest favs.

 

Jan: Wicked

 

Feb: If you're happy and you know it

 

March: Behind Closed Doors

 

April: You're not going to believe this

         Stupid Farmville

 

May: I don't think that's what it says

 

June: Some itches

 

July: Do you do it too?

 

Aug: When I grow up

 

Sept: Don't mess with Mama!

 

Oct The request

 

Nov: All in the name of pillows

 

Dec: You probably shouldn't stab your eye

 

Honorable Mention:

 

Love of my life

 

 

What friends are good for....

I am a relatively calm person. Not the freaking out kind.

There have been very few feak-out sessions in my life: my 13th birthday party, the time my piano fell on my son, and the time the doctor told me I couldn't have an epidural.

That's pretty much it.

Hubs...different story. Anytime there is blood involved, he pops one. First he flips out, then he feels light headed and finally he has to sit down. This also happens when he changes a poopie diaper, but that's irrelevent.

The other day I had an almost freak-out moment.

My friends and I went to go watch Breaking Dawn-Part 2....again. We went into the almost empty theatre and sat down. As the movie started, we heard this low yell from the back of the theatre.

"What the..." I thought, looking around. A few minutes later I hear it again. I looked around, just to see if I could see the individual making the noises. It was too dark, but I figured it was someone with some sort of disability.

As the movie went on, he became much more vocal. He was yelling at Charlie, saying "Belle was lying!"  It was at this point that my friend went and spoke with security. I mean, come on, guy. At least get her name right.

By the time Alice figured out the Volturi were on their way to destroy the Cullens, the guy was yelling out obscenities every few seconds. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the Volturi as much as the next guy, but the man was starting to make me nervous.

The manager came in along with a few police officers. As they walked up to escort him out, I began evaluating my surroundings...you know...just in case....

Granted, this Twilight has been out for more than a month. And it was a matinee. And there were only like 10 people in the theatre. The threat level was plenty low. But still....Crazy is unpredictable.

What were my options? I could dive on the ground and play dead. I could use one of my friends as a human shield. My purse is full of tons of crap...probably enough that not even a bullet could penetrate it's contents. I could hold it up over my vitals and make a run for it.

Luckily I didn't have to do any of those. Lucky for all of us he left without a problem. Lucky for me, my friends didn't know that I had considered sacrificing them.

At least not unless they read this blog.

Now I'm freaking out.

Not exactly as I would have planned...

What happens when your husband decides to change jobs at the end of the semester?

14 appointments, that's what.

You see once Hubs switches jobs, all the health insurance goes away.

And so we have crammed in eye appointments and dental appointments into the last 2 1/2 weeks.

14 of them.

Because that is what I want to spend my money on month of December.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a root canal.

Nothing!

Meggings

The most popular trend in men's clothing...
.

(I just threw up a little in my mouth)

Are you kidding me?  What is wrong with our world!?!!!!

The guy in the purple looks like he needs professional help. I'm sorry, but no man should wear those pants. They are wrong on so many levels!

Please tell me these are not on your husband's Christmas list!

I'm begging you.

Please!!

How I know he loves me?

"Mommy. Can I watch a movie?" he asked.

"You can. But first you have to give me a kiss and tell me one thing you love about mommy," I answered. Yeah, I know I was begging for some lovin', right?

He gave a kiss, stepped back and said, "I love you because I didn't pee my bed last night."

Not quite the compliment I was fishing for....(scratching my head.)...but hey, I'll take whatever his three year old heart deems worthy of admiration.

You probably shouldn't stab your eye...

I wouldn't recommend stabbing yourself in the eye. It really hurts.

I wouldn't recommend holding a pair of scissors in your hand while trying to grab stacked glass Mason jars. You might stab yourself in the eye with them. 

I wouldn't recommend stacking two glass mason jars on top of one another and then putting them on the top shelf. One of them might start to fall while you are retrieving them.

I wouldn't recommend choosing to put cut up hay in a glass Mason jar. You might have to get the Mason jar on the top shelf.

I wouldn't recommend cutting pieces of hay from the bail you bought in October. You might need to put them into a mason jar.

I wouldn't recommend wanting to have cut hay on your bookshelf. You might have to cut some from your bail you got in October.

I wouldn't recommend having an empty manger on your bookshelf that you want to fill with hay. You might want a jar of hay right next to it.

I wouldn't recommend wanting to fill a manger with hay that represents random acts of service. You might want an empty manger on your bookshelf.

I wouldn't recommend wanting to teach your children the true meaning of Christmas. You might come up with the idea of filling a manger with hay that represents acts of service.

I wouldn't recommend having children this time of year. You might want to teach them the the true meaning of Christmas.

I wouldn't recommend having children. You might look forward to this time of year.

So, my friends, here's the bottom line: Having children makes you stab yourself in the eye.

And that really hurts.

(See, we really can blame everything on our kids. I'm just saying.)

Air soft...yeah right.

My son owns a gun.

An air-soft gun. Why are they named that anyway?  It's not shooting air and when it hits you it hurts. No softness about it.  Kobe has recieved many a bruise from these air-soft guns. Basically it's a BB gun with platic BB's.

I know, because I have picked up about a million of them with my bare hands. I tried picking them up with my vaccum, too. Yeah, that doesn't work very well at all.

Reguardless, those little suckers can really hurt someone. Just ask Briggy.

I was exercising the other day (Hey now, get off the floor...it does happen every now and again) and Briggy came into the room saying he needed to blow his nose. "I need to get it out," is what he said.

So I gave him a tissue. "Blow it in this," I instructed him. -Side note, teaching kids how to blow their nose is so hard. They just want to suck in their stuff. Anyone else have that problem? End sidenote-

So he blew and I thought we were done with it, right?

Wrong. He kept saying, "How do I get it out, Mommy? It really hurts."

"Wow. Okay, well blow really hard. Sometimes the boogies are hard to get out. So blow really really hard."

He did. Nothing.

By this point he is crying. Wow, this kid is really wants the boogies out.

"Ok, Briggy. Blow as hard as you can," I coached. And blow he did. And out came one of those air-soft pellets.

Good thing he didn't sniff that one up into his brain. Can you imagine. "What happened to him?"

"Oh, you know. He snorted air-soft pellets as a child."

See, dangerous!