My daughter hates school. No, you don't understand. She really hates school.
How do I know this?
Because she was screaming all morning through her tears, "I hate school. I hate it. I am not going. I hate school!!!!" from about 6:30am until about 7:36am. That's a lot of hating, wouldn't you say?
I sat her down to try and figure out exactly where all the hating was coming from.
"Do you like your teacher? Is she nice to you? Did she yell at you?" I asked.
"Yes I like her. Yes, she is nice. And no, she doesn't yell at me. I just hate school," she whined.
"Do you know anyone in your class? I know that would be very scary for you if you didn't have friends in your class."
"Yes, I have friends in my class. I just hate school."
"Umm...did someone touch you or hurt you at school. You are really upset, I am just wondering if something happened." (It had to be asked.)
"No! No-one hurt me. I would tell you if they did. Don't you understand? I just HATE SCHOOL!"
Big sigh.... I get it. I understand there are just some things in life that we hate doing. I personally hate grocery shopping. I avoid it when I can. Unfortunately we all have to eat. If we didn't I would be $600 richer a month. The things I could do with that money.
"I understand you don't like to go to school. But we go to school so that we can learn. The more we learn, the smarter we are, and the smarter we are the more successful we will be. Maybe you don't like 4th grade, but you might love 5th grade. The only way you can find out is if you finish 4th grade," I reasoned.
"I won't like 5th grade either!" she screeched. "I hate all school!"
"Oh, Love. You really only have two choices at this point. You can go to school with puffy, crying eyes. Or you can calm down, eat your breakfast and pray that Heavenly Father will help you make it through this day," I explained.
"I don't want to go to school. I hate school. I don't want to pray!"
Great. There was only one thing left to do. Pour on the guilt.
"Do you want Mommy to go to jail?" I asked.
"Ummm....no. I don't want you to go to jail."
"If Mommy lets you stay home from school everyday because you hate school, not because you are sick, then the cops can take Mommy to jail." A slight exaggeration, but in extreme situations it could totally happen.
This was an extreme situation.
She thought it over. "Fine. I will go to school. But I still hate it. A lot!" She wiped off her tears and got dressed. She let me fix her hair and she ate breakfast. She even walked out the door with a smile on her face.
My oldest son looked at me after she left and said, "Wow! She is emotional."
That was an understatement.
"Welcome to the world of women, my boy."
9 comments:
Oh Stef. . .it sounds like you have had a rocky start to the school year, my friend. . .
sending powerful prayers your way!
Boys have a way of nailing the situation don't they :-)
I hope school gets better for your daughter. Maybe she'll spot a cute boy or something!
We have this battle every year. Mainly with Youngest.
This year I will not be here for the first 2 days.
The sitter is going to hate me.
I feel your pain. Last year was horrible for my son for about two weeks, then I went to my son's class and found out why he hated it...it was awful! I hated it too! So we found another school (Yahoo for boundary exceptions, charter schools, and montessori!) now we both love it. Maybe she's got a point? Good luck with that!
Might be worth going to observe in the classroom and make sure all is well.
If you find that it is, I'd just let her vent without trying to talk her out of it. I always found that arguing with my kids' feelings only served to reinforce them, while hearing them out was usually cathartic for them.
Just a thought...
=)
How old is she? Nine? Watch out!
You are a better woman than I am!!!! Fourth grade was my all time favorite year. I hope she is a little bit more willing to return tomorrow!
Oh this had me laughing so hard. I just know that this is going to happen to me when E is that age. And when she does, I know that Jason's going to look at me and say "She's such a drama queen...just like *you*" and I'll roll my eyes. Ah, the joys of raising a girl :)
I'm not going to touch this one...
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