Sometimes I wish I would just not say things out loud.
You see, I love to camp. I grew up camping, every summer...a couple times actually: my family, my parents' family reunions and Girl's Camp. It is nothing new to me.
I am not sure, though, at such a young age, that I truly understood the potential danger that the wild presented. Particularly bears. No, I have never actually seen a bear while camping. I have never known anyone who was mauled by a bear. But I have heard stories. Many.
Like the lady in AZ who was attacked by a bear...twice in one night... by the same bear. Then there was my brother-in-law who had a bear sniffing around his cabin a few years ago. And let's not forget the bear that entered my sisters' camp two months ago and spent 30 minutes trying to open an empty cooler because it smelled like food.
So last week, my family had a camping reunion up in Colorado. I was very excited to see my siblings and their families. I was not excited, however, to sleep with the bears.
"Oh, the rangers haven't seen any bears in this area all season," my sisters tried to comfort me. "Yet," I would add. Still, to be on the safe side, Hubs brought his gun and slept on it every night we were there. For my sanity. Never mind that by the time I woke him, explained to him and he loaded and aimed, I may be dead...but at least I felt better.
Around 8pm the first night, right after dark, I made my way into my tent to set up the beds. And there, in my tent, was a bear!!
Just kidding.
I stepped into my tent, and there on the floor...all over the floor...was half of a Chex Mix bag...minus the bag. It was everywhere. I am not kidding.
Nothing screams, "Hey, Bear! Come eat me!! I have got the strongest, longest lasting, most potent smelling snack every made to man all over my sleeps!" like Chex Mix. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. I didn't even buy Chex Mix. What the heck!?!
Have you ever tried cleaning that stuff up by the light of a child sized, $.99, Wal-Mart special flashlight? It was pathetic. I borrowed my brother's hand-held broom and started flinging the snack toward the door. I couldn't just fling it out the door because...hello! The bears would figure out where that stuff came from. I took me a good 30 minutes to clean it all up.
I was so annoyed. Then I shot my mouth. Unfortunately 3 of my younger children were around to hear me shooting.
"Great! This is just great. Now the bears are going to come and try to get Chex Mix. And guess where they are going to look. Right here. In this tent. Where we are sleeping. Lovely!!"
Yeah. They were scared. And worried. And now had lost all desire to sleep. "Are the bears really going to come here, Mama? What if they try to eat me? Do they like to eat people?"
"Don't worry, my little children. Mommy has it all worked out. I cleaned up the mess. We threw away the mess. If that doesn't keep the bear away...
"...Daddy has his gun."
4 comments:
I have a friend who hates guns. He never saw the need for one.
Until he moved to Alaska and had a bear knocking down his door at 2am.
He's moved back to Massachussetts, but he still has his gun. In case the bear ever hops a plane and wants some Chex Mix. :)
So glad you didn't get eaten.
I'm guessing that since you are able to blog, a bear did not get you! Phew!!! I hope you had a great time at the reunion!
This cracked me up!
I have camped with brown and black bears a few times and even been sniffed by one - that was a little too close.
It is a bit unnerving but they usually don't bother people. Now the Grizzly bears....yikes.
Glad you made it back safely. I think I would have been more scared about the gun.
You are cute!!
Thank heaven for bear boxes. My family always puts all the food in them.
Of course, that doesn't help for spillage. Spillage requires hands-and-knees labor, as you now know all too well...
;)
PS. My guys have run into bears many times in Yosemite. They all carry bear whistles when they hike way in.
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