How do you cool YOUR house?

Yup. We are smack dab in the middle of summer. It's pretty much hot wherever you go....at least as far as I can see....and I can see far. LIke the moon. The stars. The great abyss. See, far.

My point: It is hot. So we cool our homes to keep us from melting into the pavement. But not everyone cools their house the same way.

There are those you have central air...that's us. It was a must when we were looking for houses to buy.

Others use swamp coolers. Such a weird name...and kind of insulting if you ask me.

There are window units....which require you to open your window to cool off your home....huh? This one confuses me a bit but so does the phrase "Fun Run," so who am I to judge?

Ceiling fans, electric fans, paper fans...whatever it takes to stay cool.

My son came up with a way to cool our house about a month ago. That is, he decided to open the freezer door....and leave it open....

....for NINE HOURS!!!!

He came home from football practice and had to grab some ice for his water. Apparently he got side-tracked and forgot one important thing: Close the freezer door.

Off he ran to help our friend do some heavy yard work for 5 hours. I picked him up as soon as I got off work and we went to dinner and a movie.

I wish I could say that when I walked into the house it was like an icebox. However, that was not the case.

So in case you were considering this method of cooling your house this summer....

...DON"T.

A confession

I stole a pen.

On accident.

From the bank.

It was in the container with my license and receipt.

I grabbed it all, threw it on the seat, and drove away.

And there the pen sat.

I stole a pen!

Can we still be friends??



*And it wasn't even a good pen.

Always and Never

Those are two words that shouldn't be used when speaking to or about your spouse.

Except when it is true. And what I am about to say is true.

When it comes to cars, bad things always happen to me. And when it comes to cars, bad things NEVER happen to Hubs.  Always to me. Never to him.

If the car is going to break down, it's going to be with me. Always to me. Never to him.

If the registration has expired and a ticket is issued, it's going to have my name on it. Always me. Never him.

If there is going to be an accident that will total a car, you can count on me being the driver. Always and forever me. Never in a million years him.

So, it will come as no shock that as I was driving to pick up Kobe from football, I suddenly heard a loud hissing sound echoing off the neighborhood walls.

"Ugh!! You've got to be kidding!! What now?"

I pulled over, got out and followed the sound....which lead to a flat-ing tire.

Really? Really?? This is like the 5th flat tire that I have had to deal with. Guess how many he has had? You guessed it....none....at least not since we have been married.

Ugh.

Car problems and sea food. Always me. Never him.

Ever!!!!!

  

Do you miss me?

He left me.

Hubs is gone. Has been gone for the past 5 weeks. He won't be back....

... for two more weeks. (Did I scare you? Heck, that scared me when I typed it and I knew it was a joke...)He's getting his masters and the program requires him to spend 2 summers in Washington DC.

Translation: It requires me to stay at home with my 5 children for pretty much the whole summer. Yeah, I'm pretty much bald and baggy eyed by now.  Truthfully, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. My kids have been great.

About two weeks into the summer, my sisters took all but the youngest of my children. Don't you just love sisters. It was really nice. I was worried how Brig, my 5 year old, was going to do. He had already been Hubs-sick and I didn't want him to feel Home-sick. He had almost changed his mind about going the night before but in the end decided to go.

After the first day, I called and got him on the phone.

"Hi Brig! How are you?' I asked.

"Hi Mom! I'm not missing you. I'm not missing you at all."

Well, apparently he doesn't get Mom-sick.

Silly

Like most moms, before we go on long trips we have "One last curtain call...."

...meaning "Scaddittle and pittle."

...meaning "Hit the can while you can."

...meaning "Go to the bathroom, already!"

And they go. They do.

But without fail, about 2 hours in, my baby will say, "I need to go so bad I am going to die!!!" Wow! He really has to go.

So like any good mom would do, I tell him to hold it. (**I can see it now, "Young boy dies from an exploded bladder. Mother told him to "Hold it!"**)

After doing that for about 20 minutes, I pull over, open the van door and tell him to shoot far and don't drip.

But as I push the button to open the door (gotta love that), all the boys in my car decide they too need to do some bush watering. So they line up, pull out and shoot.

It always ends up as a contest to see who can shoot the farthest and pee the longest. A different kind of shooting range, if you will.

Boys are weird.

I often wonder if Hubs wishes that he join the competition. He is competitive like that.

But that would be just plain SILLY!

I am a horrible mom

My son has practically been waiting his whole entire life to play high school football.

All his life, I tell you.

And I have been hoping, all his life, that he won't. will find some other way to break every bone in his body  sport to enjoy.

All his life, I tell you.

My son is now starting his freshman year of high school...
His thoughts, "Yeah! Finally!!"
My thoughts, "What the....what??"

So you can imagine his excitement that finally he was going to be able to play football.

I was....slightly less excited.

In fact, this is where I think I win the "Worst Mother of the Year" award because this is what my first thought was..."I sure hope he doesn't make the team."

Don't get me wrong. I want him to be successful. I want him to learn to work hard for the things that he wants. I do. I really, really do.

But we are talking football, people. You know...concussions, broken bones, locker-room banter/hazing, not to mention really cold stadium seats. Football. The real-deal-break-my-boy-in-two football.

So I admit it. I thought it. I didn't say it out loud....well, not until today where I am putting it down in print for the world, my son and my posterity for generations to come  to see...uhhh...ahem...oops.

But not to worry.

Because he has informed me that everyone makes the team.

(less that enthusiastic) "Yeah!"

Why are you tired???

I'm tired.

For many reasons....5 kids, closing in on 40 yrs old, ready for Spring, 5 kids. But the biggest reason that I am tired TODAY, is because Hubs and I decided, on a whim, to go watch Captain Gorgeous....I mean Captain America last night.

We got home about 1:30am.

So worth it! It was so good. Better than the first one.

...um....I actually can't say it was better because I have fallen asleep every time I tried to watch it. Not because it wasn't interesting or good....but because I was tired...EVERY TIME I tried.

But not this time.

It was so good.

I will admit that I was a little worried that someone was going to come in the exit doors in the theatre and start shooting me....I am a little paranoid like that. Is anyone else like that? That is why I usually avoid going to the midnight showings of new movies....because...well...just because. But Hubs wanted to go and so we went.

It was fun. To be around people who were as into Marvel movies as we are.

But some people....are....how do I say this....weird.

There was a man, who I would guess was a little older than us, who was in a full blown Captain America suit. From head to toe. Leather suit, mask, shield and all. His wife wasn't with him...which who could blame the poor gal. If Hubs did that you could guarantee that I would not be attending the movie with him.

Crazy!!

Did you see it yet???