The Ultimate Diet

We are on a diet in my house. It's called the S'more diet.

"I will have s'more of that."

"Who wants s'more?"

"Put s'more of that on my plate, please."

So in honor of our diet....

Who wants S'more?

(Kyla is still going on a camera strike. She did gobble up a few s'mores herself...in case you were wondering.)

Hobby?

"What is your hobby?" 

Ugh! I hate this question. Perhaps 20 years ago it would have been an easy question to answer. Perhaps if my life wasn't so jam packed full of stuff it would be simple. But every time I am asked that question I am stummped. I don't have an answer. 

So I thought that maybe looking up the word in the dictionary would help.  

Any of several small falcons of the genus Falco, formerly used for catching small birds or game.

  

Okay, so that was the second definition, but I wanted to share that bit of information with you. Cool, huh. 

Here is what definition #1 said:

An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.  

That didn't really help. So I thought about what my definitions for hobby would be. Here is what I came up with:  

1. an activity that one does ONLY for pleasure and while doing it losses track of time and many times will cause them to put off other things that are less exciting or enjoyable like the dishes, laundry, toilets or making dinner and causes them to ignore their children entirely. 2. an activity that one participates in IF they have free time, time to spare, time to waste, an extra hour in their day. 

Everyone has to have a hobby. So I determined that I was going to find mine. It has taken me a while, but I think that today I finally decided what my hobby was going to be. 

SLEEPING!!

Isn't that a great idea. Clearly it fits my definition.  Seriously, when I am doing other things, it is what I long to do instead. I daydream about it when doing dishes, changing diapers, cleaning up throw-up at 3am, sitting at work interpreting teenagers NOT talking on the phone. 

I would get pleasure from going to bed at night (any time, really) and sleeping until I woke up naturally. There are times that when I am sleeping I enjoy it so much that I sleep longer and miss the things that I should be doing. 

Last night I thought I was going to get some good sleep. My kids have been piggy backing being sick all week. So I had the sickies all drugged up and when I got into bed there was just 2 of us. By the time I got out of bed at 5:30 this morning there was one on the floor and 3 extra's in our bed. Yes people, count them. We are talking about 6 people piled into my bed. What the heck!! Sleep, where is thy hiding place?!?

So if you drop by my house and I am lounging around on the couch, don't think to yourself, "Man, that woman in LAZY!!" Know that I am merely pursuing my hobby. 

So now when someone asks me, "What's your hobby?"

I will answer with an enthusiastic, "ZZZZZZZZZZ's!"

To be unlearned is good.

I swear, the more children I have, the less I know. That was the inspiration for the name of my blog. And it is so true. I used to know what a 6 month old was supposed to be doing. Now, I am just glad he isn't walking or throwing his food yet. So I got to thinking, what are some of those things that I thought I knew, but have UN-learned since.

I used to think that a clean house= a good mom. Ummm I have since unlearned that. If I want to have a spic-and-span house, then I have to ignore my children. I have learned that ignoring children= messier house, restless children and blue marker drawings on the wall. I am a much better mom when I let a few things go, a few of the less important things, so that I can enjoy my children.

I have unlearned 4th grade math. That or I have blocked it out of my memory. I'm not sure the difference between a line segment and a ray and no longer know how to figure out the mean, mode or medium of a set of numbers. Thank heavens for Google.

When in high school, I used to believe that you needed to shave your legs every other day. I have unlearned that rule and am lucky if my legs get mowed shaved at all twice a month. The way I see it, the longer the hair the softer it is. Cactus legs can't be that appealing? 

I apparently have unlearned that chocolate does NOT help with a diet. It seems to be the first thing I try to give up, but somehow makes its way back into my bag, nightstand, car, etc. Darn you, chocolate!!

I used to think that all markers would come off of human skin with soap. I have since UNlearned that...thanks to my four year old who has been determined to have permanent black lines running up and down his arms and legs. I am actually pretty amazed that he hasn't gotten ink poisoning.

I learned growing up, watching my dad, than men are the door lockers. They are the protectors. Well, I have had a hard time unlearning this one. I have become the door locker. If it were in my hubby's hands, we would be robbed clean, each of our children kidnapped and he and I murdered in our sleep. I can't tell you  how many times in the beginning of our marriage that I would lie in bed, wondering if things were locked, only to get up and find NOTHING locked. So I am now the door locker, the protector.  I am woman, hear me roar!!!

I have learned that a good bra DOESN'T last forever. I'm just saying! Unlearned that one today. (Too Much Information? So sorry. I have to stop doing that.)

I have unlearned that sandpaper is just for wood. It works wonders on my heels when I go for a pedicure. The first time I saw them pull the machine out, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I was regretting not shaving my legs.

I unlearned that a strong woman doesn't need help. Oh, yes, I have UN-learned that the hard way. I am learning my limits and once I have reached them, I have to get help somewhere: a friend, minute maids, a mental institution, fellow bloggers.  Mostly, God. Oh yes, we all have our limits.

The scriptures say, "To be learned is good.." But I also think that to be UN-learned can also be just as good.

What have you UN-learned??

This post is inspired my Mama's Losin' It's Writer's Workshop. 

I feel like a kid again who has won a trophy at the end of the soccer season.

Adrienne over at Four Bad Apples gave me this award:

Someone actually likes my blog!! I can't believe it.

When I found out that she had given me this award, I felt like Taylor Swift...but then that may be pushing things because I don't look like Taylor Swift, I don't sing like Taylor Swift, and I don't want some dude coming and taking away my thunder. (Did I just say dude...oh boy!)

And it's not like I can go around telling everyone that I won this award. Because half the people around me don't know what a BLOG is. When I tell them I am a blogger, they reach for a tissue and hand it to me.

But at any rate, I am so happy that my blog can bring a little sunshine into someone's life! I LOVE blogging about the crazy life I have chosen and I am the one who gets excited when I see your comments...because in some way you all can relate.

So, I guess I am supposed to tell about myself. I am a mother of 5 crazies, 4 boys and one girlie! I have been married to my husband, who happens to be deaf, for 11+ years. I have been blogging for about 2 years, but decided that I wanted to go public with my blog so that I could comment on others blogs. I get so excited when I find people who have similar struggles and challenges that I have. I also find myself ROLLING on the floor at some of the things that your kids do.

So here are some of my favorite blogs that I stalk.

The Meanest Mom 

(If you think I am funny, you have never read this blog. Hilarious!!)

Denton Sanatorium

I love big family blogs. And Jenny just has it all together. My hero!! Just look at her children all in white. We don't own white in my house...nope.

For Love or Funny

Lynn is awesome. She is hilarious, and also a very talented photographer. I find joy in her humor.

Love, Actually

I like this blog because who doesn't run out of ideas for dates and stuff. Really great idea for a blog, I think.

And there you have it.

Thanks, Adrienne, for making my week!! Seriously, for reading my blog!!

But today...

There are those days when the To-Do list seems to go on and on...
* Do the laundry
* 15 minutes in the garage aka black hole
* Fold the heap of laundry that keeps traveling from my bed to the basket, only to return to the bed the next morning and then the basket again.
* Dust...oh yeah, Dust
* My garden...of weeds....needs to be turned into a garden of plenty.
* Shower (Why isn't this at the top of the list? Note to self, fix the To-Do list.)
* Call a bunch of people to take care of a bunch of things that they will not be able to help me with, but I must call them to check them off the list.

You know those days.

But today, I sit. I sit and I rock my two little sick boys. They alternate who is fevering and who is drugged up and feeling well enough to play around a little.

So I sit, and rock and savour this time...because I know it won't always be this way.

My list can wait. My laundry may walk itself out the door, but good riddens. The black hole isn't getting any smaller and  the heap on my bed makes for some good exercise at night.

But for now I will rock my little men to their hearts' desires for it fills my heart to do it.

(Plus I get to watch that tv show that I swore I would stop watching but now I have the time to watch.)

So I Married a Deaf Man IV: The Ticket!@$*!!

My husband had never gotten a ticket. Not in his whole life. I am not saying that he has never been pulled over, because he has. Plenty of times. But he had never been issued a ticket...until he married me.

It isn't because of his great smile...though he does have a GREAT smile. It isn't because his eyes are to die for. No, no. It isn't because he is a flirt because he SO isn't. It is because he is deaf. Let me describe what normally happens.

"Vrooom Vrrrroooom."  Hubs just speeding along without a care in the world.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeohhhhhhh." (Lights flashing)

The cop walks up to the window and my husband rolls it down.

"May I see your liscence and registartion please?" he asks.

My husband points to his ears and shakes his head.

"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....hold... hold on, HOLD ON!!"  He goes back to his car and returns with a pen and paper in hand.

The officer usually writes something like this, "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."

And that is it. Seriously. HIS WHOLE LIFE! Until he married me. Here is what happened.

Brian was driving along, we were chatting (via sign lanuguage...it freaks my dad out.) and suddenly the lights appear behind us. Great! I hate that feeling. So we pull over.

That cop appears at the window, asking for license and registration. My hubs points to his ears shaking his head, as usual.

"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....Hey, do you talk?" he asks me.

Because I have been taught not to lie and to respect poilicemen who risk their lives everyday to keep the roads safe, I answer "Yes." Then proceed to interpret for him while he gives my husband an $80 ticket.

What the heck!! Does he know how much it would have cost him to HIRE an interpreter? We are talking over $100 because they would have to have special certification and get paid a 2 hour minimum and mileage and an extra after hours/less than 24 hour notice fee?!?!?!!!! He should have been writing me a check before he walked away.

So the next time we were pulled over, my sister, her daughter and my son were in the car with us. I turn to her and I say, "Pretend like you are deaf. Do not say one word. If he asks you something, just pretend you can't hear him."

It worked! NO ticket!! Just "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."

Thank you Officer!!

Good Question

5 question Friday. I will give it a try....

1. What words do you use on your blog/online that you don't use in real life?

Well, here's the thing. I am obsessed with my children. I could talk about them for hours on end. It has come to the point that people will avoid me altogether just so they don't have to hear about how my 5 year old has reverted to peeing the bed and when he wakes up, soaked in the middle of the night he screams at the top of his lungs "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My blog seems to help with my verbal erruptions. That way people who like my stories, will come and read and when they are sick of them, they can turn me off. I think my husband may be a little jealous of you all because of that feature...the turn off button. But then again, all he has to do is close his eyes...off.

2. Do you still write checks?

   My kids all have chore charts, behavior charts, homework charts. If they get them done, then I write a check. This is where I write the majority of my checks. There is also the form that I fill out when I go to the therapist.

   But when I pay for things I usually do the debit swipe...much much faster and easier to do when you've a baby on the hip, another pulling your "fat" pants down, the other is begging for gum, candy, and whatever other thing they have at the checkout to torture parents, while the other two are fighting over who gets to stand on the end of the cart. I just swipe...hoping that it will magically transport me to some beach somewhere...................... "Ma'am. Ma'am...your receipt." Drat!

3. Who was your favorite President and why?

  All joking aside, I think that the men who wrote our Constitution were inspired. It took them a lot of courage to do what they did. And because of what they did, America has become the great country that it is. And the more we chip away at the Constitution, the more we chip away it's greatness. ANY president who respects and understand and upholds the Constitution, in my eyes, is a great president.

4. Are you a yeller?

   I would never! I would never yell at my kids if after asking them 10 times to do their homwork I find them outsided jumping on the trampoline. Oh, no! I would definately not yell if my 5 year old was pummeling his younger brother for playing with his Star Wars storm trooper in the sandbox.  You wouldn't hear me yelling at my children if I walked into their room to see them writing on their walls with marker. And you wouldn't hear me yelling even louder when I realized that my 9 year old had joined in the fun!! Do I yell?? NEVER!!!!!!!!...oh, I mean, "Never, darling."

5. Have you ever dumpster dived?

   

    Wow! That sounds fun! Is it some kind of sport? Similar to swimming? Ha.

    You know, the only time I have even thought about it was when my daughter's homework got chunked for not being put away accidentally found its way to the trash. But when I looked and saw the pile of crap that was on top of the thing, I told my daughter that matching the picture of money to the right amount wasn't worth digging through dinner to salvage. Yes, in my home we teach the importance of education.

Now that didn't hurt at all. You should try it. It is just 5 questions.

GO HERE!!