Blackmailed

I am innocent.

I didn't do what they are saying I did.

Even though they have a video. A very misleading video, I might add. A video that they like to play over and over and over again.

And they laugh. Out loud. As in rolling on the floor laughing.

At me.

I am innocent!

"So...what is on that video?" you may be asking.

Well, before we get into that, let me give you the whole story.

Brody, my middle child, had misplaced his phone. And then it died so there was no way to call it. He was really upset...almost to tears.

I had kindly asked all my kids to help find his phone.

Then I sternly asked them.

Then I angrily ordered them.

Then I yelled.

They kind of  looked. For five seconds.

I looked everywhere in the room he had last had it. I looked on the floor. I looked under the couch. I looked on top the couch. I looked on the tv table. I looked everywhere.

Finally I decided that maybe it was stuck in the couch. Things have been known to fall between the cushions and stay there unless the couch is jiggled enough.

So, in order to see if this was the case, I went to one side of the couch and began bumping the couch with the top of my thighs. And because I wanted the phone, if it was indeed there, to fall out, I used quite a bit of energy in the bumping of the arm of the couch.

My daughter, who was sitting on the floor across the room, not helping to look for the lost phone was busy recording me. Bumping the couch.

"Mom! Why are you humping the couch?" she laughed.

Where did she learn that word....and why would she think I was doing that to my couch?!?!

And that is what is on the video.

I am innocent!

I am innocent and I am being blackmailed.