Are your kids afraid you will poison them?
My kids are. I'm not sure where it comes from. Maybe from watching too many Disney movies...like Snow White and the evil step-mother giving her a poisoned apple? But I am not an evil step-mother. I am just plain mean-old mom.
I've never poisoned them before. I mean, that would just be begging for punishment because we all know who would be cleaning up that mess. I may have made them take a bite of a new recipe. But poison NEVER.
Well, this morning my daughter opened her lunchbox that has been in her backpack for a few days. "Oh. My. Gosh.! Why does my lunchbox smell like that?!!?"
"Probably because uneaten orange slices and soggy peanut butter sandwich crusts aren't meant to be left in your box for days," I explained.
So she got a Lysol wipe and tried to clean out the smell...but it wasn't coming out that easy. So I got some Lysol spray and sprayed some of it in there.
Big mistake.
"Is that poison?" she asked.
"Ummm, no. If it was poisonous I wouldn't put it in your lunchbox. I am mean, but not that mean. You will be fine. It will be fine. Now pack up your lunch and let's skidattle."
"Uh-uh. I don't want to get poisoned. If I put my food in there, I will get sick," she said.
"Honey, all of your food is in bags. Nothing will touch what I just sprayed. Plus you just wiped it out....again. It will be fine."
"It is poisoned, I know it."
Poison. Heh. Little does she know that if I really wanted to poison her I would sneak a little something on her toothbrush at night. No. Maybe some special icing on that cookie.
Or maybe in an apple.
Bwahahahahahaha.....
8 comments:
Oh, you make me laugh!! Kids are too funny and exasperating aren't they??
When my oldest was about 5, she asked my husband to make her some oatmeal because "what mommy just made me wasn't oatmeal. It tasted like poison." He asked how she knew what poison tasted, she said everyone knows.
Over the years I have perfected oatmeal creation but I've never forgotten that poison comment. (My husband and I have a running joke, though, that when he irks me and I cook, he takes the plate I made for myself, the poisonless one).
Kids. Where do they come up with this? Maybe because we make them eat broccoli and other yucky stuff?
What a funny story.
And I love Arnebya's comment about her running joke with the hubby where he takes the "poison-free" plate.
;)
i agree with you...WHO THE HECK DO THEY THINK WILL BE CLEANING UP THE SICKY IF WE POISONED OUR CHICK A DEES?!
and love ur daughter's drama...can't take after you can she?
Ha ha ha ha....drama drama drama! Girls!
Truthfully....ask any health nut...lysol IS poison. Or at least toxic. And yet...I still use it. :)
Maybe she is on to something.
My kids haven't thought I was going to poison them... yet. But you've given me ideas. bwah ha aa ha HA!
I think people get nervous when they see my apron that says, "Many men have eaten in my kitchen, few have died."
Seriously.
Only a few.
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