My husband had never gotten a ticket. Not in his whole life. I am not saying that he has never been pulled over, because he has. Plenty of times. But he had never been issued a ticket...until he married me.
It isn't because of his great smile...though he does have a GREAT smile. It isn't because his eyes are to die for. No, no. It isn't because he is a flirt because he SO isn't. It is because he is Deaf. Let me describe what normally happens.
"Vrooom Vrrrroooom." Hubs just speeding along, without a care in the world.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeohhhhhhh." (Lights flashing)
The cop walks up to the window and my husband rolls it down.
"May I see your licence and registration please?" he asks.
My husband points to his ears and shakes his head. (This means "I can't hear" in mime. You're welcome.)
"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....hold... hold on, HOLD ON!!" He goes back to his car and returns with a pen and paper in hand.
The officer usually writes something like this, "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."
And that is it.
Seriously.
HIS WHOLE LIFE!
Until he married me. Here is what happened.
Hubs was driving along, we were chatting (signing, whatever.) and suddenly the lights appear behind us. Great! I hate that feeling. So we pull over.
That cop appears at the window, asking for license and registration. Hubs points to his ears and shakes his head, as usual.
"You can't hear? ummmm okay...uhhhhh...ummmm....Hey, do you talk?" he asks me.
Because I have been taught not to lie and to respect policemen who risk their lives everyday to keep the roads safe, I answer "Yes." I proceed to interpret for him while he gives my husband an $80 ticket.
What the heck!! Does he know how much it would have cost him to hire an interpreter? We are talking over $100 because they would need to have special certification and be paid a 2 hour minimum and mileage and an extra after hours/less than 24 hour notice fee?!?!?!!!! He should have been writing me a check before he walked away.
So the next time we were pulled over, my sister, her daughter and my son were in the car with us. I turn to her and I say, "Pretend like you are deaf. Do not say one word. If he asks you something, just pretend you can't hear him."
It worked! NO ticket!! Just "Too fast. Slow down. Warning."
Thank you, Officer!!
6 comments:
LMBO your hubby should have a sign in the back window that says he is deaf and the cost of hiring an interpreter should he be pulled over. Then go on to explain that one WOULD be hired and paid for out of the officers pockets.. bet that cuts down on the pullovers.. or he could not have such a lead foot lol
HA! My MIL is Danish, and when she got pulled over once, she spoke Danish to the officer. He just shook his head and let her go!
Now, THAT is funny.
=)
That is a crack up!!
Maybe I'll pretend to be deaf!!
I am not kidding. I DO NOT speed it is kinda my mantra in life and so who gets pulled over this past weekend...ME. I was going 20 in a 15 (unknowningly) how crazy is that? Of course, everyone else speeds right by me all the time and never gets pulled over but me? Pulled over for going 20 mph.
He didn't give me a ticket...but c'mon - he was pulling over the choir here!!
From now on I'm deaf sista!
Wait...Would that be super horrible and wrong? Is it offensive to your husband. Oh my - my conscience!!
I guess there should be a few perks to being deaf, right?
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