So I Married a Deaf Man: Ding Dong

Did you know you can buy a light that can hook up to your doorbell so that when someone comes to your house lights will flash? Wouldn't that be great? No? Well, that's how most Deaf people do it.

I say most because we don't have one of those. I leave it to Hubs to get what he needs. He apparently doesn't see the need, so we don't have strobes going off whenever anyone rings the bell. (Ring my beee...eee..eeelll. Ring my bell! Sorry, I couldn't resist a little jingle.)

"How does Hubs know someone is at your door?" you may ask.

Well, he doesn't.

Okay, that's not entirely true. If I am home, he will see me run to the door. If I am not there he will see the kids run to the door. If he is home alone, he will see the dog run to the door.

We are his own little personal strobes.

However, in the rare case that no-one is strobbing, then he sits there, unaware that someone wants in. You may peek through the window and see him sitting there. But unless he sees you, he isn't going to be opening the door for you.

No problem, just come in.

It's the Deaf way. First you ring. Then you peek in the window. If you see them, you try the door. If it is open, you reach in and find the light switch and proceed to flick it on and off until it gets their attention. If it does not, then you walk into their line of sight and wave your arms. If that doesn't work, just sneak up behind them and put them in a choke hold. They really like that. A lot.

If the door is locked, you can kick the door with your foot to see if you can make enough of a vibration to get their attention. If that doesn't work, you should try what Hubs' friend did.

One day, when Hubs was on his mission, he met up with a member of the church to talk to a Deaf man who was interested in the church. When they got to the door, there was no bell. They peeked in the window and there the man sat, watching TV, with his back to the window.

They tried waving. No good. They tried kicking. Nope. They even tried throwing spit wads at the guy through the window. That's just lovely. But wait.

Just then, the member says, "You might want to stand back. I am a black belt in karate. I can get us in." Not sure what he was going to do, Hubs stepped back.

The man stood in front of the door, closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled out. Then he drew back his arm and proceeded to put his fist through the door. As in all the way through the door. I am not sure what he was trying to do. Maybe knock the door open? Down? But I am pretty sure he wasn't trying to make a hole in the door.

He did, however, succeed in getting the man's attention. Mission accomplished.

So if ever you want to visit when Hubs is home, please keep your karate skills to yourself and just walk in.

My door thanks you.