I'm sorry. That's just weird

I was listening to the radio this evening and heard an advertisement for a huge valentine bear. "Make her Valentine's big with this huge stuffed Valentines Day bear."

Really? An over-sized, stuffed, Valentines Day bear?

 I am just curious...do you know any grown woman who is just hoping that her significant other is going to buy her an enormous stuffed bear?

Are you that woman? If you are, you should probably stop following me. Kidding. Really. Don't do that.

But seriously. What do you do with it? Surely he wouldn't have given it to you so that you could cuddle up to it instead of him. I am pretty sure that would defeat his purpose completely. Do you place it on your freshly made bed every morning? Do you get professional pictures with it and then frame it and give it to him next year?

Seriously. What would a grown woman do with a huge stuffed bear? I mean don't most women want some nice flowers, a nice dinner, maybe some chocolate (Maybe? Okay, "You're dead to me if I don't get chocolate" is slightly more accurate) and time with their special person? Isn't that the norm?

But a bear? The only thing that I can think I would do with something like that is terrorize my children. Now that would be fun.

"Time for bed kids!"
"Ahhh, Mom. Can't we please watch a movie."
"Nope. Bed time. Skidattle."
"Please......."
Deep growly, slightly disturbing voice, "I said...'GET IN BED!!'"
"...oh no. Not that. RUN! It's Scary Bear!!!!"

He would come in handy when there were disobedient children. Great for kids who refuse to eat the veggies. Definitely handy for those times when the whining just won't stop. Oh, yes. Scary bear would be perfect for any mother with more than one child.

But as a turn on....not so much.

This may be why Hubs has never gotten me an over-sized stuffed bear for Valentine's Day.

He knows I have a dark side.