Sometimes being married to a Deaf person isn't fun.
Sometimes it's annoying, having to look all the time.
Sometimes it's frustrating to be the "go-to" for all the kids' complaints.
Sometimes it's lonely, because there aren't many people who totally understand the world I live in...not even Hubs.
Sometimes it stinks to be the only one who hears how loud we really are. Okay, that's not true. Everyone else can hear us...just not Hubs.
Sometimes it's tiring to always be the middleman...the bridge between two worlds.
Sometimes I don't want to be the one who makes the call. I just don't want to.
Sometimes I want to be selfish.
Sometimes I want to know people like me for who I am, not who I married.
I know, this post is pretty raw. And negative. And non-typical. But it's true. It doesn't make me love him any less. I still choose him everyday.
But sometimes it's hard.
It just is.
13 comments:
I hear you Stef. If it's any consolation - I married a deaf AND blind one. Hang in there!
oh boy Stef. . .thanks for the honesty!
I can only imagine, but I do think that the part about hearing how loud you are would be really hard. . .because there are days when we are surrounded by the chaos that is 5 kids and just looking over and knowing that David hears the chaos too, somehow makes it easier. . .
Keep your chin up. . You have an amazing outlook on life! We all have days when we are overwhelmed!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Somedays are hard.
Thanks for being so honest Stef. I broke up w/ a boyfriend who was deaf after 5 yrs...I just felt like I was behind a glass wall that I would never fully be able to get through. It was hard. Anyway...you guys have the real kind of love, that's for sure! I often feel like the middleman here too....Eric doesn't like to talk on the phone, I have to call his parents or order pizza, or whatever!
This makes perfect sense to me. Every experience in life has its downside, right? Even being married to the most wonderful deaf man ever!
=)
Thanks for this post!! I love raw and honest.
And just for the record I think you married a really great guy and that you are an AwEsOmE mom and wife!!!!
Well, I love you for who you are because, well, I don't even know your husband. But I know you are freakin' awesome!!!
Sometimes you've just gotta vent. No judging here. I love my own husband dearly and am proud of the reputation he has in our ward. He is loved and respected and admired. He's been called "a rock star" and a "go-to guy". He's the one people are always calling because they know they can count on him. And while I'm proud, it also drives me crazy! Most of the time I feel like extra baggage just along for the ride.
It's good to get it out!! Good for you to share!!
I think this is a fantastic post because it so honest and so very raw. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be in your shoes. Hang in there and know that I love reading your blog because it's *your* voice and has *your* personality in it that keeps me coming back. As much as hubs sounds like an interesting person, it's totally you who I think is the best :)
Oh, see? These are things I wouldn't even think of if you weren't so open about it.
I HATE being the person that calls and so I shiver at the thought that you always HAVE to be the one :-(
The bright side to the loudness is that when the kids noise tend to grate on one's nerves, his nerves should last longer, right?
I think we all have RAW times... I know that I am highly RAW sometimes about my son. He has some "issues" and most of the time I am fine, but there are days that seeing how people look at him or treat make me want to explode and I think it isn't fair... That is when I realize that there is a reason for everything. I have to learn something about myself and usually if I think hard enough, I do!
I understand. :)
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