Lifeguard!!

Kids will do anything for a buck.  I have learned this on our vacation. I know, I know. I am horrible. But sometimes "Whatever works" is my motto.

So far I've gotten my kids to stop yelling for a day, sleep in the undesirable bed, and even clean out the van.

But the best one so far was done by my little 4 year old, Camden.

My in-laws have a pool in their backyard and so that has been where we are spending most of our time. My daughter is like a little fish. She would swim all day every day if we would let her. However, ask her to jump off the diving board and she will flat out turn you down.

I told her we would give her $1 if she went off the board.

"No! I don't want to."

Okay. "We will give you $5 if you go off the board." We knew that if she would go off once, she would have that much more fun for the rest of the week.

"No!!"

So we decided she wasn't changing her mind and left her alone.

About 5 minutes later Camden, who can't swim...at all...suddenly jumps into the water. With no-one to catch him. Luckily my daughter Kyla was right there and grabbed him and brought him into safety.

I took him, calmed him down a little and was drying him off when I hear him say, "Where's my dollar?"

"Is that why you jumped into the water?" I asked.

"You said you would give me a dollar if I jumped into the pool. And so I did."

Yup. Some kids would kill themselves for a dollar.

Breakfast is served

Why is it that we get excited about a continental breakfast at a hotel?

I mean, it's not like the food is amazing. It normally consists of muffins in a bag, some semi-fresh fruit, cereal with mini cartons of milk, small yogurts, hard boiled eggs and Minute Maid Juices. If you are lucky you can toast some waffles or make a pancake.

But for some reason, when my kids found out there was going to be breakfast at the hotel the other morning, they almost wet their pants. (I think one of them actually did.)

Maybe the fact that they have that many options placed before them at one time that gets their hungry little hearts pumping. I have to reign them in, however, when they decide that they need to try a little of everything.

I always feel a little uneasy at these places they call the dining room. Remember, we have 5 kids with us...5 kids aged 10 and under. So we are noisy by nature and a little messy. No matter how hard I try, at least one will spill something. Some one will get upset because they can't have yougurt, cereal AND a waffle all at once. It is a given that someone will touch the other with their foot, causing the first to hit, scratch or pull hair.

Most the people who are there with us probably have zero kids and look at us like we are crazy... which we are...and "Can't we control our children a little more?" I always feel a bit  self-conscious. But we have to eat. And I'm not going to apologize for having a large family.

This last time, my baby decided that he was going substitute apple juice for milk in his cereal and then proceeded to spill it all over the floor, my foot included in the flood. He also decided that he likes the whites of the egg, but not so much the yolk. We found this out when he put the whole yolk in his mouth then proceeded to spray it all over the table, the floor and himself. (I keep telling myself this is normal behavior...right?)

When we were finally done, I went to the front and asked if we could have a broom to clean up our mess. The lady there was so nice. She told me that she had 4 kids and she enjoyed watching our "normal" kids. She said not to worry about the mess.

How nice is that! Maybe we will come back again.

We will see you next time...

...between the hours of 6-9am.

Heaven on Earth....

Yesterday we drove 14 hours straight. So I am happy to say that I am alive to tell you about it.

Only not today.

We have 4 hours left until we get to Grandma's house.

But I will tell you this. While we were scrounging around last night for some grub, we found a little piece of heaven.

Hubs and I used to go here all the time when we lived in Arizona. There are zero Jamba Juice's where we live now.  (sobbing uncontrollably)

Needless to say we had one for a late night snack and will be getting it for breakfast this morning!

I love Jamba Juice.

And we are off.....

Up in arms

After much contemplation, I have decided that arms are overrated.

Don't get me wrong. I totally appreciate my arms. What would I do without them?

I mean, how else am I to put on my clothes? Or eat? Shampooing my hair without arms would be annoying. Then there is driving. I kind of need my arms to steer and turn on the blinker, not to mention putting on my seatbelt.

And can you imagine the world without hugs? How sad if you couldn't wrap your arms around your loved ones. Or hold a newborn baby.

So I do understand the vital role they play in our everyday lives.

However when things like this happen, twice in one month...

(kid #1)

(Kid #2)

...I have to wonder.

So I Married a Deaf Man: Burn Baby Burn

I can feel good about blaming my husband for the many burns that I have on my neck. No, they are not "love" marks, they are burn marks from my curling iron.

He doesn't do it in my sleep. Oh, no. I am wide awake when it happens. In fact I am looking right at him. "How does this happen," you may ask?

You see, I am always late. I usually only give myself 10 minutes to get ready for work. Well, it is usually at this time, 10 minutes before I have to leave, that my husband wants to chat with me.

No big deal, right? Wrong.

Remember, he uses sign language which requires constant eye contact to "hear" what he is saying. Looking away means large chunks of information will be missed. But giving him my full attention means being really late.

I try to watch him as much as I can. I ask him to move next to me so that I can see him in the mirror while I am blow drying and curling my hair. Most the time I am good at watching him through my peripheral...that or looking away really fast and then looking back so as to not miss any detail of what he is saying.

But sometimes what he is saying is so interesting that I can't help but pay more attention to him than that 150 degree sword of fire. Most the time it gets my neck. Sometimes a finger. Luckily never an eye. Once that sucker hits flesh, it burns. Bad!!

We have a similar problem in the kitchen. You know, when I am cutting vegetables, or doubling a recipe, or taking cookies out of the oven. When I am changing poopie diapers seems to another time when Hubs wants to talk about things.

At those times, I have to make a choice. Not looking at my husband means I may miss what he is saying. But looking away from what I am doing may be disastrous: bloody hands, blistered neck, unleavened bread, pooey mess.

Somethings can hold. Other things can't.

So heed this warning: Don't sign and multi-task.

It hurts.

And burns.

And so I blame him.

Can you blame me??

I smell you!

My husband smells good. Not because he wears cologne because he doesn't. It's not because he showers..though he does do that daily. He just smells good. I think he was born smelling amazing.

**At this point I could make a comment about how I feel like Edward Cullen from Twilight, but I won't.**

You need to know (maybe you don't need to know, but I am going to tell you) I have a very sensitive nose. It is a blessing and a curse. It is a curse because when I am pregnant, smells are magnified three fold. If there has been any kind of stinky diaper changed, or broccoli cooked or smelly shoes removed in the last week, I will smell it. I swear, I can smell sickness in my kids breath a few days before they get sick.

When I was in high school I was a hair sniffer. Meaning, I would sit through class and I would smell my hair. I think it drove my family and friends crazy. Even now, I find myself doing it. Lame, I know.

Back to my husband. I love the way he smells. I love waking up in the morning when he is up early and I can roll over and smell "him" on his pillow. Or when I borrow his sweatshirt and "he" is on it.  Best, though, is in the crook of his neck. One whiff and I am in heaven. This is the blessing part of my nose. I can smell my husband anywhere.

Because... Hubs. Smells. Good!

Can you smell your spouse too?

Backyards

What's in your back yard??