Call CPS

 We have a dire situation in my house. My children are screaming abuse! Upon further investigation, I have found it to be true. Here is the incriminating evidence:

1- I was able to be home in the morning the other day and when Kyla found out I was going to be home she said, "Good! Will you make my lunch?" When asked who normally made her lunch, she responded "Daddy makes US make our OWN lunches!!" Oh the nerve! That was my first clue that something was up.

2- I also heard from several sources (under the age of 10) that the children in our home are not allowed to eat until they have all their clothes on. Can you imagine?!

3- You are gonna need to sit down for the next one. When they take a bath, he requires the older three children to wash themselves...EVEN their hair. ***GASP***

4- This one was the kicker for me...Before they go to bed they HAVE to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. The horror...BEFORE they get into bed. He says it's so they will have no excuse to get out of bed but we know its because he just has a black heart.

The list goes on and on: putting away their shoes, cleaning up the dog poop in the yard, loading their dishes into the dishwasher, putting on their own seatbelts. Here is the worste one of ALL. They have to have their chores and homework done before they can play the Wii....and they can only play it one day a week.

That's it! I can't take anymore!! Will someone, ANYONE please call CPS before things get out of hand...before the children become responsible adults or something worse!

You can imagine the lasting effect behavior like this can have on children. Please, help these poor children!!

The Needed

Sometimes it is nice to be needed.

Sometimes not so much.

Monday was one of those times. I have been working some crazy hours where I work til midnight and then have to be back into work by 7am. Try 3 days of that in a row and it really starts getting to you.

It doesn't help that the hose in my kitchen sink faucet decided to break. So now, when you turn on the water, if the tear isn't facing the right direction, water will squirt everywhere. This isn't just annoying, but it apparently deters people, big and small, from rinsing and washing dishes.

Monday, I was exausted. Everyone needed me and I really didn't have anything left to give. Brian needed me to edit his paper that he was really stressed about. My kids needed a ride to piano lessons, Briggy was tired and needed a nap...well, first he had a poopy diaper and needed a change, then he needed a snack, then he needed to be held. Brody needed some attention because he was beginning to pick on Camden which made Camden need some protection and comfort. Everyone needed dinner. Homework needed to be done. The house needed at least 3 hours 15 minutes of attention.

I needed a break but really didn't see it happening. In the end, a good cry was all I got. Oh, yeah, and the guilt that follows. I got that too. Have mentioned that I hate guilt? No? Well I hate guilt.

So who helps the needed? When we, as mothers, are needed so much, who takes care of us? We are naturally givers. If you are a mom, you give. You give up you body, your sleep, your hair color, sometimes your personal hygene, your free time, your cleanliness. For what? So that the people in our lives know we love them and are happy. So, again, I ask, who takes care of the needed?

I know that God can take care of us spiritually,emotionally, physically...in ALL aspects of our lives. . But sometimes...sometimes, I want to be waited on. Sometimes I want someone else to make dinner and then clean it up after. I want to sleep until I am not tired and not feel bad about it. (Curse you, Guilt!!) Sometimes I want someone to read ME a book and rub MY back.

I love being a mother and a wife. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I would give up ALL my sleep if it meant that my children would be happy and my husband satisfied with the life we have been given. I was just hoping that I wouldn't LITERALLY have to give it all up.

This is totally a downer post. Not meant to be, but isn't life like that sometimes? What do you do when one more need is just going to put you over the edge? I really would like to know.

So I Married a Deaf Man III: Drive Thru

"Hey, what's for dinner?" Hubs asks.

"I don't know, what are you cooking?"

"Sonic!" he replies.

"Great! I get to drive." I insist.

You may be thinking to yourselves that I am some overbearing control freak who has to be in control all the time. This is SO not the case. In fact, I would love it if someone would willing come and take away some of my control. Please!! In fact, I am getting out my white flag as we speak!

So, no, it isn't a control issue. The issue is...well...here...let me demonstrate what it looks like going to a drive through when my husband is the driver.

We pull up to the screen and Bry is just looking ahead, with the window up,  while the speaker is shouting, "Hello!! Is anyone there??? CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER!!"

Finally, after what feels like hours, he rolls down the window. I am now leaning across the middle of the bucket seats, screaming, "YES, I WANT 5 YADA's , YADDA YADDA, and an extra large YADDA!" It is while I am ordering our yadda's that my husband thinks it is funny to tickle me, or give me a wet willy or some other annoyingly distracting antic.

"What was that, ma'am. I can barely hear you." What, is he deaf? No wait, that would be us...

So I repeat the order a few times until finally they get it.

When the order arrives, the car hop starts talking to my husband. When hubs doesn't say anything, and all they get is a cheesy look and a big smile, then they get annoyed.

Leaning across the seat again I explain, "He isn't rude. Really. He is just deaf and can't hear you."

"Oh, I am so sorry!" is what we usually get. And many times I can't tell if they are saying sorry that they didn't know, or sorry that he is unable to hear. Maybe they are saying sorry that I am hurdling the bucket seats. Haven't quite figured that one out yet. But, it is a little bit awkward to say the least. 

So THAT is why I prefer to drive when we go through a drive through. Less hassle, less explaining, and one less wet willy that I have to deal with.

My Son

"My Son, My Son"
By My Grandma

Oh barefoot boy with cheeks of tan

How soon can you become a man?

I'm sick to death of snakes and toads,

and dirty feet from dusty roads

Untied shoes and muddy jeans,

Whose pockets bulge with jelly beans,

And messy rooms and tattered shirts

Of binding up your cuts and hurts

Oh barefoot boy with cheeks of tan

I'll miss you so when you're a man.

Another Mommy Moment Monday from Frugal Mom Knows Best.

Where's the party???

(Whispering) Now kids, this is a big people party. That means no climbing on tables, don't stick your finger in ANY of the food, and above all, no potty words...got it?

Oh, hello!! I heard there was a party from pretty much all the blogs that I stalk follow. I thought that I would invite myself come and check it out. I am late, as usual. But it sounded like a ton of fun, whether you were on time or the last to show up, so why not!!

Are these all MY children, you ask. Yes, all 5 of them. Yes, 5 kids in 9 years is a little crazy and yes my hands are full! Better full then empty, I always say. They keep me on my toes (trying to avoid all the things that are spilled, crushed and stuck on my dining room floor), awake at all hours of the night (whether it is teething, projectile vomit, wet bed, night terrors...etc) and rolling on the floor laughing. I definatly will never run out of things to blog about.

Why am I moving my hands when I talk, you ask?  No, I am not a freak of nature....ummm well maybe I am. I do have two bladders.. Oh, wait...totally inappropriate information there...so sorry. My sweet husband over here is deaf and so I am interpreting for his benefit. Yes, he can drive. No, he doesn't read brail. And you can bet I have got some great stories to tell about our 11 1/2 year journey together.

It looks like I am gonna have to run. Baby is smelling up the place and it doesn't look pretty. My daughter has somehow managed to get bean dip in her hair and the other three are seeing how far they can spit the watermelon seeds. Yup, time to go. But come on over and visit. I am sure to make you laugh, or if nothing else, you will know when it is time to send those "nice young men in their clean white coats" to take me away...hahahaha!!

Nice to meet ya!

The things we do for LOVE

It all started last year...at the age of 9. My son comes home, crying.

"What is the matter?" I asked, very concerned.

"She is moving. She is moving to Scotland and I will never see her again. And I didn't even have her sign my Autograph book" he sobbed.

There was no consoling him...at least for 30 minutes anyway. A few hours later, she was out of his mind and he was on to other more important things...you know, like riding his scooter, playing the Wii, etc.

It turns out, to his relief, that she didn't move. And when he walked into his literacy class, there she sat, in all her beauty. Every day he sits by and partners with this little girl.

Then about 3 months ago he asks me, "Mom, how old do you have to be to kiss someone?"

"Ummmm. You need to love the person before you kiss them," I replied, hoping that would satisfy his curiosity.

"But I do love her. I loved her from the moment I first saw her." he stated.

"Well, then...not until you can drive."

Yesterday he walks in the door, all dreamy eyed. Hmmmm...do I want to know???

"How was your day at school, son?" I asked.

"Well, today at recess Riley and I climbed to the top of the jungle gym and she told me she loved me. And I told her I loved her."

"Really?" I flinched.

"Then this other guy got jealous and he pushed me off the jungle gym. I fell down. Then he twisted my ankle."

"Ouch!" I blurted out.

He continued, "Then Riley jumped down and punched the kid in the face and he ran away crying."


"Then what happened?" I asked, fascinated by this woman girl.

"I told her 'Thanks.' And she said, 'No problem.' Then she had to go to the principal's office."

Huh... That totally ended differently than I had imagined. I guess my son knows how to pick 'em, if you like the aggressive, physically violent type...which apparently he does.

The things we do for love.

You're afraid of WHAT???

Every Thursday Mama's Losing It has a Writer's Workshop. It is fun and gets me thinking. This week I chose the prompt about Fear. 

(Write about something that frightens you that other people might find ridiculous.)

I came up with 5 things that I fear that other people may think are weird or ridiculous.

#1 Tin can lids with jagged edges.

These things scare me EVERY TIME I see them. I am the tin can lid police. They are so dangerous! I always make sure that the lid is inside the can before I, or anyone else throws them away. You never know when you are going to be packing in the trash and SLASH, there goes your finger. Or what if my toddler digs in the trash gets hold of one of those things.

No. NO! NO!!! 

It just is a bad idea.

#2 Ski Lifts

This is the main reason why I don't enjoy skiing. Part of it is the height thing, but most of it is the whole "I have on these heavy skis and there is really nothing holding me in." Then when the chair has to change wires...that FREAKS ME OUT!!

#3 Claws

This is why we will never have a cat, hamster, bird, rat,etc.

 I just hate the feeling of those things tickling my skin. Yuck!!

#4 Linked Sausage

The sausage patties are fine. I just don't think that people cook them right and so I am always paranoid that the middle isn't cooked. ESPECIALLY if the sausage is on the burnt side. I am sure that they are mostly fine and I have never gotten sick from sausage. But...I don't know...the risk is still there...

I'm just saying.

 

#5 My teeth falling out.

This is one of my re-occurring nightmares. I wake up in the morning and all my teeth are there. Then sometime during the day, they all start to feel loose and I start to freak out. Then one by one, they start to fall. It is a horrible, horrible dream.

Call me a freak, that's okay. My kids call me that all the time.  But we all have our fears....

What are yours??