At it again...

Guys!

It's been years. 

Many years. 

As in 14 years. 

Fourteen years since I have had to potty train.

Probably my most dreaded responsibility as a parent. 

It requires attention.

It requires consistency.

It requires patience. 

But mostly it requires cleaning up messes. 

Not the dust and dirt kind of messes.

Nope, we are talking about the gross kind.

I remember shouting for joy when my last child graduated from this stage. 

Long. Loud. From the rooftops I cheered. 

But....

I have to do it again. 

Not with a baby. 

Nope.

We are all done in that department. 

100%. No doubt about that. 

I will leave that to my children and their parenting adventures. 

And messes. 

The gross kind.

BUT....

We have decided to get a puppy. 

Which is exciting. 

And fun. 

And overwhelming. 

A 2-month-old puppy. 

The untrained kind. 

I have to train a puppy. 

And I am woefully inexperienced. 

I know how to train humans. 

Been there. Done that.

But non-humans?

I'm scared. 

Very scared. 

Guess Who I Ran Into at Home Depot

 "You should ask him if he wants your door.?"

That is the thought that came into my head.  

"Wait. What??" I questioned. I looked at the man and the French doors he had in his cart, then back to the man. "Okay. That's weird, but I can do weird." 

That's how it went down. 

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, STEF?!

Okay. Okay. Let me explain. 

Two years ago we built a house. And I paid for a really nice door that I didn't want. 

WHY? Why would you do that? Who does that??

Me. But it wasn't my fault. The contractor ordered the custom door he wanted me to want. But guess what. I still didn't want it. I mean, I sent the guy pictures of the door I actually wanted. 

Still, when I showed up to the house, there sat the door I DID NOT WANT.  So I called the contractor and after explaining to him that I was the person paying for the door so... I wanted what I wanted.

Shortly thereafter the door I wanted was ordered. 

BUT, turns out the when you (or your contractor) order a custom door (that you don't want), it can't be returned. "Not my problem," I thought. "I didn't order the door. I didn't approve the door. The contractor will deal with it." 

Turns out he didn't. Turns out we had to eat that cost. Turns out he was willing to take the door (that he wanted) (that we paid for) off our hands for free. What a nice guy. 

Oh heck no!!

So the nice door has been living on our back porch for 2 years. 

We've tried to sell it. We've tried to give it away. Turns out no-one else wants a custom made door. Well, no-one besides my contractor.

Fast-forward to Home Depot.  

"You should ask him if he wants your door?" That is the thought that came into my head when I saw the guy with the French doors. I can do weird. 

So I asked him. 

Guess what. Turns out he wanted it. 

Turns out that some crazy person ran their car into his granddaughter's house that she is renting and took off. Turns out her landlord is refusing to replace the French door. Turns out she currently has a couple pieces of plywood for a door. 

Turns out her grandpa, the guy at Home Depot, was trying to help his granddaughter but had been worrying all day about what to do. Turns out he needed my door. 

I had no idea he needed my door. He had no idea I had a door. 

Turns out God did. 

Didn't you know he hangs out at Home Depot? 

Back off Summer!!

Fall.

It is finally here. 

Okay, technically it isn't here until a few more weeks. Technically. 

But no-one told Hobby Lobby. 

No-one told the candy aisles at the stores. 

And who lives their lives based on technicalities anyway?

Well, apparently the weather. 

Here we are in September and we are having record breaking highs this week. 

100 degrees. On multiple, back-to-back days.

Yeah, I know you people in Phoenix, Las Vegas, the Sahara Desert, Mars are rolling your eyes thinking "100 degrees IS Fall weather."

Well, I don't live there.  

I live in the northern mountains of Utah. You know, where it snows. And people ski. And we GET annual Falls. They make the months of snow, gray skies and just plain miserable weather worth it. Yep, that is where I live. 

So what is up, Mother Nature??!!

It is time for caramel apples and sweatshirts. Beautiful changing leaves and cooler nights. Candy corn and pumpkin....everything. 

NOT sunscreen and scorching seatbelts. Sunglasses and dehydration. Dying flowers and peeling skin. 

We are done with that!

I think I just might rebel. I refuse to give in to the Summer flashbacks. I will not be moved. 

If you see someone walking down the street in a sweaty sweater, honk and wave. 

That would be me.

Ahhh....Christmas

I

really should

start my Christmas

 shopping now.I always want to

 be done by October. It makes more sense

than to put it off until Dec 23rd. Amazon is having

their Black Friday in July sale now. Hobby Lobby already has

their Christmas stuff out. I really should get on it.  I am going to do it this year.

 

Really.

I am.

 

It's our motto!

Let's celebrate July 4th with the un-sung last last verse of the "Star Spangled Banner."

Have a great one!!

"Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"

Mistborn Series

Okay, I know I keep saying this....

 

...especially this year

 because I have read a lot of good books.

 

But this series....

 

You know it is a good series

when each book gets better.

 

And this series did just that.

Better with each book.

The good news with this series is that

there are three more books.

 

And I have heard it said that the last three books are

better

than the first three.

 

Whaaaat!?!?!

How is that even possible??

 

If you like fantasy and adventure,

you are going to love these.

 

No,

Really,

You are going to

LOVE

this series.

 

The silent killer

Just so everyone is clear where I stand. Just so I can say, anyone who reads this blog....Hi, Susan... knows what I believe. I want to be obvious in my position.
Pornography is a killer.

A silent enemy...

...one that has penetrated our society and is tarnishing everything it touches.

It slaughters the human spirit.

It destroys healthy relationships.

It crushes marriage.

It annihilates families.

It impairs agency.

It distorts a healthy view of women.

It  poisons our youth.

It negatively impacts the media.

It corrupts our society.

There is nothing good that comes from pornography.

Nothing.

Fight it!!!

Fortify your homes, family and marriages against it.

It IS a big deal.

It IS a problem.

It IS demoralizing.

We must fight it. We must fortify against it. We must not stand idly by as it infests our homes, neighborhoods, and relationships and people we love.

One person can make a difference and is worth every effort made to eliminate it.

BE THE ONE.

Doctors,,,,

Maybe I've put this out there before but if I did it was years ago and it is worth bringing up again.

I hate going to the dentist.

No, I really hate it.

In fact, if given the choice between a dentist and a gynecologist, I would choose the gyno any day!!

No, really. I would.

And do you want to know what makes it worse?

If you know someone from the dentist office, outside the dentist office.

Like that person goes to  church with you.

And lives a few houses down.

And plays in your Bunco group.

I hate it.

My rational mind tells me, "...it's no big deal." ...and "she doesn't even care." and "You are just being paranoid."

But my irrational self, aka my normal self. says, "She's staring at my teeth." and "My mouth grosses her out." and "No...really...she is staring at my teeth."

It is weir that my dentist worker is staring at my teeth, but really, I am the only one that notices THAT.

But if she was my gynecologist and she was looking at my..... other area, then whoa! Stop that now you weirdo!

See.

Gyno over dentist any day!

Random thoughts from my commute

I see dead people.

 

Just kidding. I don't. 

I prefer it that way.

 

Dead people are cold.

And lifeless.

And rather quiet.

 

Technically, 

I know some living people

like that so...

 I guess I do see dead people.

 

...........

........

 

How do they do it?

 

Morticians.

 

They don't just have to see dead people.

They have to handle them.

And drain them.

And make them look like an alive person.

 

**Side note:

Do you think it is harder to make a dead person look alive

or make an alive person look dead?? **

 

In my mind,

morticians are literally the only people who can say

 "I get paid to see dead people."

 

If you think about it,

 any of us can see dead people.

I think it would be more of a shocker to say...

"I see people who are dead and buried walking around.

And guess what. They talk to me."

 

That would be cool.  

 

But only if they weren't the rotting type.

Like if they looked like they did when they were alive

and not mid-decomposition.

 

 And if I could talk to someone who was dead but looked alive

...and didn't smell, because I can only imagine...

I wouldn't wish it was someone famous.

 

Not me.

 

If I had my choice, I would want to talk to

Frieda Zuther.

 

She is my husband's great-grandmother who immigrated from Germany.

I know she had a three sisters and a two brothers.

I know she lived on a farm, 20 miles from town.

I know all her neighbors were family.

 

I really want to know this woman.

 

Yes.

 If I saw dead people

....with the above stipulations...

she would be the one.

Candy Fast of 2017

I have given up.

Given up candy that is.

"For the rest of your life?", you may ask.

Heck no! Are you kidding me! I would never do something that idiotic. That would suck the life out of life!

Just until Halloween.

Why?

To lose a little weight? To save a little money? Mostly because I want to prove to myself that I will not die without candy.

April- October. Those are the chosen months of torture.

But I didn't just choose these months willy-nilly. Nope. They were strategically chosen.

How?

You see, April-Oct are the "no-good-candy-anyway" months.

There are no Coconut Cream Dove eggs in May. You don't see Cherry Cordial Hershey's Kisses in June. No-one randomly makes and gives you a plate of homemade candy in July. No mint flavored M&Ms in August nor will there be any heart shaped candy boxes knocking on your door in September.

October-April contain the holidays Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, Hubs' birthday, Valentines Day and Easter, not to mention six out of the seven birthdays in our family fall between the months of October and April.

So, will the Candy-Fast of 2017 be hard? Heck yes!

But it could be worse.

Things I've learned...

...dyeing Easter eggs.

1.  5 kids x 6 eggs each= too many hard boiled eggs.

2. I can never boil a full batch of eggs without at least one shell breaking in the water.

3. Who knew dyeing eggs could be so complex. Now you can dye them normal, tie dye, metallic, glittery, with crayons, with tape, stickers. Just..wow.

4. No amount of  newspaper will protect your wood table from that bowl of dye that is guaranteed to spill. No worries. It comes off after about a month of scrubbing. 

5. What do you get when you dip the egg in every color? A really ugly egg that is called "so pretty" because it was made by your child.

6. Why do we hide these eggs? No-one gets excited about finding the boiled eggs...I mean, really.

7. Once they are boiled, dyed, hidden, and found...there is no way that shell is coming off the egg without a fight.

8. It is the ONLY time when it's okay that the egg whites are now blue, green, purple, and metallic brown (thanks to that "pretty egg").

9. Deviled eggs, potato salad, and salad topping: There's only so much you can do with a hard boiled egg. What in the heck do I do with the other 20 eggs? No, really. What??

10. Boiled eggs make for a smelly weekend. You know what I'm talking about. I have 4 boys. and with gas coming out both ends....Let's just say Easter has its own distinct smell.

Happy Easter to you all!!

Spark

"Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain" by John J. Ratey M.D.

Goodreads Summary:
Did you know you can beat stress, lift your mood, fight memory loss, sharpen your intellect, and function better than ever simply by elevating your heart rate and breaking a sweat? The evidence is incontrovertible: Aerobic exercise physically remodels our brains for peak performance.

In SPARK, John J. Ratey, M.D., embarks upon a fascinating and entertaining journey through the mind-body connection, presenting startling research to prove that exercise is truly our best defense against everything from depression to ADD to addiction to aggression to menopause to Alzheimer's. Filled with amazing case studies (such as the revolutionary fitness program in Naperville, Illinois, which has put this school district of 19,000 kids first in the world of science test scores), SPARK is the first book to explore comprehensively the connection between exercise and the brain. It will change forever the way you think about your morning run---or, for that matter, simply the way you think.

My Review:
I loved the information from this book. I really don't think we understand the various ways and the amount of benefit that our bodies get from exercising. I know that I had no idea the effect exercise had on testing, depression, mental health, and ADHD.  I loved this book. It really is a book for everyone, young and old, the fit and the unfit, the energetic and the depressed. Read it. It's a good one.

A Man Named Ove

"A Man Name Ove" by Fredrik Backman

Goodreads Summary:
A grumpy yet loveable man finds his solitary world turned on its head when a boisterous young family moves in next door.

Meet Ove. He's a curmudgeon, the kind of man who points at people he dislikes as if they were burglars caught outside his bedroom window. He has staunch principles, strict routines, and a short fuse. People call him the bitter neighbor from hell, but must Ove be bitter just because he doesn't walk around with a smile plastered to his face all the time?

Behind the cranky exterior there is a story and a sadness. So when one November morning a chatty young couple with two chatty young daughters move in next door and accidentally flatten Ove's mailbox, it is the lead-in to a comical and heartwarming tale of unkempt cats, unexpected friendship, and the ancient art of backing up a U-Haul. All of which will change one cranky old man and a local residents' association to their very foundations.

My review:
I loved this book. Who doesn't like grumpy old men? They say what they think without much filter. I love how this book was written. The more we read Ove's story, the more we know of Ove and Ove is not who he appears to be. Underneath his hard shell, there is a lot to love. This is definitely one of my favorites so far this year.  Ove stole my heart.

Things I've learned...

...loving good Mexican food.

There is no Mexican food like 'New Mexican' Mexican food.

Chips and salsa are more than just an appetizer. They are addictive.

Some dishes require milk to enjoy properly.

The best restaurants are usually located next to a laundry mat.

If they don't ask "Do you want red or green?" you should just stand up and walk out.

The Breakfast Burrito. Enough said.

If you don't know what green chili is, you haven't lived.

Not all beans and rice are made equal.

TexMex is not Mexican food.

Free sopapillas are a restaurant's way of giving you a tip.

Ashwend's Day

"Happy Ashwend's Day!!" he said when I answered the phone.

"Happy what?" I asked wondering if this was a day I should know about.

"Today is Ashwend's Day!" he repeated.

"Who is Ashwend?" I thought out loud.  Maybe he is some Irish saint that everyone knows about and what an idiot I was for not knowing who Ashwend was.

"Not Ashwend's Day. It's Ash Wednesday."

Someone needs to tell that guy that the space between the words ASH and WEDNESDAY is really important!

If not, someone might end up feeling like an idiot.

Shallow

He seemed to be the man of my dreams.

As far as my "Future Husband Must-Haves" list went, he had it all.

Sense of Humor
Handsome
Athletic
Religious
Hard working
Kind
Musical
Fun

Check. Check. Check.

He was the Ultimate Future Husband material.

And he liked ME!

I was going to school full time plus working 2 jobs and didn't have much time to date, but he made every effort to spend time with me whenever I was available. He even straight up told me he wanted to get to know me better. He would walk me to campus. He would hang out while I was studying. We would stay up late playing card games.

I liked him. A lot.

But he had this jacket....

It was a longer plum colored jacket that had an elastic gathering at the waist. Oh, and it had a hood. A really big hood.

So?

So, it bugged me to no end. I know it sounds so shallow. Who judges a book by it's cover, or in my case a man by his jacket?

Me, that's who.

Now, don't get me wrong. It didn't stop me from seeing him. It didn't stop me from being seen with him. But it was like someone scratching a blackboard with their fingernails every time I saw him in it. And you can't really consider marrying someone who wears something that causes that kind of reaction inside you.

Can you?

No, really. That's an honest question.

I don't know what it was about that jacket that bothered me. Was it the color? I mean I don't know too many guys who have a plum jacket. So maybe but I don't think so. Was it the fact that he paid for a jacket that had elastic at the waist? It is a little weird, but then again so were tight rolled jeans but we all wore them. Was it the huge hood? Could have been. To be honest, I don't know why I hated that thing, but I still remember it, 20 years later.

In the end, things didn't work out with the guy.

I would like to think it was that we just weren't compatible or that our goals just didn't align. But I am a little scared to admit that maybe the jacket played a much larger role in that relationship than it should have.

So there. I admit it. Out loud. On a public forum. To the world.

I am shallow.

Time for a swim

We decided to put a pool in our house. In the basement to be exact. In the middle of winter.

Just 'cuz.

Okay, well that's not entirely true.

You have heard the saying, "When it rains, it pours," right?

Yeah, well where I live, it's more like "When is rains, it first melts over 3 feet of snow in less than 48 hours, and then it rains more and pours all of that rain and melting snow into my basement."

What is one to do with that much water seeping up through her foundation you may ask?

We dig a hole...or two...aka, indoor swimming pool!

Let me just say...in our pool...there is no shallow end. Only deep, deep water. And no matter how much we try to make it shallow, it just keeps filling up.

Isn't that wonderful?!? A magic basement swimming pool.

Anyone up for a polar bear challenge?

Because, Baby, that water be cold!!

There are no secrets anymore

This last month I lost one of the best men I ever knew. My father passed away after suffering from an unexpected brain bleed. He was an amazing man and will be missed by many. Truly one of a kind!

But that's a different post, for a different day and for a totally different blog.

With his passing, I have had a lot of time to think about what happens when our loved ones pass. I don't mean what happen happens to them. I know that there is life after death and that there is also purpose, that we continue our progression in the next life.

What I mean is how much of my life will my dad be able to see? I mean, when he lived far away I could trick him into thinking I was this wonderful daughter who had a clean house, never yelled at his grandchildren, always got along with her husband and showered everyday. I'm not sure I convinced him all the time, but I tried.

But now.....

Can he look down and see my messy house? Can he hear me yelling at my children? Does he see me when I roll my eyes at my husband? Or smell me when I've skipped a shower...or two? How much...or how little...does he get to see of the real me? The raw me? The unfiltered me?

It sure makes me want to live better.

Sometimes all you can do it is laugh.

I laughed.

I mean, what else could we do?

We were spinning. On a black sheet of ice called a road. In a truck. On tires with little or no tread. Late at night.  On a deserted street.

Even though we were college aged beauties, our winter driving experience combined was inadequate. We were from New Mexico. Land of Enchantment. Land of Rarely Any Snow. Land of If There Is Snow It Melts By Noon.

Beautiful place. Plenty of sun. A scarcity of black ice. Beautiful indeed.

But we were in Idaho. Land of cold wind and black ice.

Black ice isn't very nice.

It makes you do things you don't want to do. Like go into a 360 spin when all you wanted to do was go straight.

I know this because this is what happened.

My younger sister was driving...er...at least she was at the wheel at the time. Her eyes were filled with terror as she looked at me, the question "What do I do now?!?!??" screaming from them.

"Sit back and enjoy the ride, I guess."

What else could we do? Yeah, turn into the spin, but on ice I wasn't sure it would make any difference. So I looked at her....

...then I laughed.

Ahhh....the sounds of Christmas

I love Christmas movies! They make me happy. Can you name which of my favorite Christmas movies these quotes are from? Good luck!!

"What are you? Some kind of wild animal??"

"Don't ever say Hickory Honey Ham again!"

"There are two things in this life I hate: heights and jumping from them."

"I'm singing. I'm singing. I'm in a store and I'm singing."

 "If you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt."

"Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!"

"Keep the change, you filthy animal."

 "I love being home. But I don't like being left behind. Now I am the one going ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you."

"I invented chill."

"Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?"

"Put the cookie down....now!"

"The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on."