16 was the age.
A rite of passage. Driving? That was cool but not what I had been waiting for for my whole life.
What had I, along with most other 16 year old girls, been waiting for our whole lives?
Dating.
Having someone like you enough to ask you to spend the evening with them. Someone who liked you enough to buy you dinner, or take you out to a movie, or bowling, or whatever. That's how you make a girl feel special.
And feel special I did.
Now, we all know how important it is to continue dating after marriage. It gives you time to remember that, "Hey! You clean up nice" and "Wow! So this is what adult conversations are like." and "Hey! I do like you!" Yeah, dating after marriage...but mostly after children...is important.
That's why Hubs and I go out almost every Friday night.
What I can't understand is why, when we go out to a restaurant, I get stuck with the bill.
Every time.
It's not because Hubs isn't willing. He likes me enough to father 5 children... he better like me enough to buy me dinner. It's not because I have more money than him....we share the same bank account. If he's broke, I'm broke.
The reason why I always get stuck with the bill is because the waiter always hands me the check.
Always.
I ask: is this normal? No, really. I want to know from you women who are married?? Is the check normally given to the woman? I mean, it has been a while since I've dated a hearing man. But when I did, the check was always either handed to the guy or put in the center of the table.
Are they assuming that just because Hubs is Deaf, he is unable to pay the check? Do they assume that I am paying because I am voicing the orders and the 'thank you's' and all that?
It would be interesting to see what would happen if I just didn't talk. Would they assume Hubs was paying? Would they place it in the middle or the table and let us arm wrestle over whose card gets to be used? Would the dinner be free, as neither of us are talking?
That sounds like an interesting study of human behavior.
But for now, it seems, he who speaks....
...pays.
7 comments:
I've got all sorts of snarky responses to give the servers, lol. It would be funny one day to pretend you were deaf too and see what happens. Hubby and I are both fluent in sign (he moreso) and have been put in situations at different times in our lives with the deaf community.
Servers always hand my husband the check when we eat out. I'm sure it's about the deafness. Not right really. Not even necessary. Nothing wrong with his eyes.
We don't eat out too much, but I think they've always just left it on the table. But you could be right about them assuming you take care of things because your husband is deaf. That would be an interesting experiment though!
Oh you make me laugh! Most times I think the check is placed in the middle...but I know often when my husband and I are are out, the check is placed by me. I have always assumed it's because I'm more vocal than he is and do way more interacting with the server. You have just confirmed my theory. :)
I'm a widow, but I think the waiter/waitress usually put it in the center of the table or by my husband in most cases. Sometimes they would ask who was taking the check. Personally, I think it should be put in the center. In your case an assumption is made that because your husband is deaf he can't take care of the check.
I'll tell you what used to bother me. My friend had ALS. I gradually got used to her speech problems and could always understand her. We'd go to a store and the sales clerk wouldn't know what she was saying. My friend would ask me to tell her. From that point on the sales clerk never looked at my friend again. She would speak only to me. I was always very uncomfortable. It was like my friend was no longer there.
People just don't know how to handle things they aren't familiar with...I guess.
Oh that's an interesting case study! I always pay too but it's because I'm the one with the debit card. :)
That's crazy. But it does happen. My friend in a wheel chair says people are always talking around and over him…and some even speak extra loudly to him. Others direct all questions to him at his wife.
Hello? What's wrong with these people?
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