Humiliated

My earliest memory was being dropped on my head. But since I really can't remember the details...only that it hurt, a lot....and a story without details isn't a story at all, I will tell you of the first memory that I can remember.

So my first real memory is of me hugging a stranger's leg. What? You didn't hug stranger's legs? Me either. I think that is why I remember it so well.

I am pretty sure I was like 2 or 3 years old. I remember my dad was wearing this turquoise suit. Yes, my dad was all that...whatever that was. This may also be a reason for remembering the hugging...grown man in a turquoise suit, traumatizing. Who makes that kind of suit....I mean...yikes! And who buys them...zoik!!

It happened in the front lawn of our church. My dad was talking to some guy...who apparently had legs that looked like his. Not paying attention, I grabbed onto the man's leg, thinking it was my dad's.

I know I held on long enough for my dad to notice and to say my name. I remember looking over at my dad and up at the man and then realizing, "Hey, why do you have my dad's leg?"

Then I cried.

This was the first time I remember feeling embarrassed and humiliated. Don't you feel that way when you grab something that doesn't belong to you.

Like the time I was a senior in high school and I joined band because I loved it so much!! Okay, so maybe my boyfriend was in band and they were taking a trip to Six Flags. That may have influenced my decision to join...a little.

I, of course, spent the whole time with him. Standing in long lines, going on rides, standing in long lines, holding hands, standing in long lines. It was in one of these long lines that I reached back to hold his hand. I grabbed on, only to realize that my boyfriend was standing to the side of me and I was holding a total stranger's hand.

That was embarrassing. But when I did it a second time, 10 minutes later to the same guy....yeah, I felt humiliated. And I cried.

And I remembered the turquoise suit.