Resist the urge.
When you meet someone who is Deaf, do not talk louder. Resist, I say.
Resist unless that person is over the age of 75 and has a lot of white hair and at least one person calls them Grandma/Grandpa. If this is the case, then by all means, shout away.
But if the person is like Hubs, Deaf from birth or an early age, no amount of voice raising is going to change that the fact that they just can't hear a word you are saying.
I think it is just natural that when we are told someone is Deaf, we assume that means that they simply can't hear us. It is true. They can't. So we take our voices up a notch.
Not only does this draw attention to you, the person who is yelling, but also the innocent Deaf person who may or may not be wondering why everyone around them is staring at them like they must be dense to need this person to yell their conversation. All for naught.
It is really funny, however, when that person knows Hubs, knows that he can't hear diddly squat and still...
My mom, for example. She knows Hubs. She knows Hubs can't hear. At all. So why, for the love of Pete, will she call out, loudly, for him to turn around. Or why, when she is trying to communicate with him, does she speak in an abnormally loud voice.
Did she forget?
It doesn't bother either of us, really. We are used to it. We simply laugh it off. And my mom isn't the only one. Many friends and acquaintances, family and professionals do the same thing.
Resist. Believe me, if they need you to speak up, they will tell you.
So let me save you the trouble. Hubs is opting out of the shout.
Because if you talk louder...
...he still can't hear you.
8 comments:
I've been watching "The Family Stone" just about every day this season, and this made me think of when Thad looks at Susanna and asks her why Meredith is shouting!
It's always so funny to me. And yet, people do it ALL the time. HA!
It cracks me up when I see this happening. We used to have a deaf girl (and I do mean girl, she was 16 or 17) that came into the coffee shop where I worked. Everyone who worked there knew she was deaf and yet, EVERY TIME the barista would YELL out to her that her drink was ready... why?
People do that with those who don't speak their language either…after all, yelling at the person will suddenly make them understand whatever it was you were trying to say...
Like Mary, I just watched The Family Stone again the night before last so that was exactly what I was thinking about. Sarah Jessica Parker's character shouting around Thad, her boyfriend's deaf brother. I don't think I've ever been guilty of this but I'll definitely remember not to ever do it!
I will keep this in mind!
;)
People do this all the time to my Mother-in-law-to-be because she doesn't speak english. Um, hello? No matter how loud you are, she still doesn't get it. Try speaking slower and not in teen text and we may get somewhere :)
And what about talking super slooooooooooooooooow...and drawing out your words! Drives me crazy when I see people do this! If you can lip read, you read normal lips...not lips in slow motion!
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