Don't get me wrong. I am happy for her. They are good people and deserve all the success that they get!
The more I
And it isn't because cleaning that size of a house would force me into a mental hospital. As sad and as true as that is, that isn't the reason I couldn't have that house.
You see, I am a yeller. When it is time to eat, I yell up the stairs to my kids. When it is time to pray, I yell out the door for my kids. When it is bedtime, I yell out randomly for "PJ's and teethbrushed time!"
Right now, the size of my home matches the volume of my voice. I know that if I am downstairs and my kids are upstairs I can hollor up and they will hear me. The only exception being if their door is closed. But in general, a little yelling goes a long way.
Sadly, though, I have let this yelling carry into my disciplining more than I would like. I am not longer yelling TO my children, I am yelling AT them. Not all the time, but there are times when I have given my kids one chance after another, one warning too many, and counted up to 3 more times than I should. It is then that the yelling starts.
I don't know why I let myself reach that point. Yelling doesn't do anything except get their attention for a few minutes and mostly hurts their feelings. Oh, yeah, and it does induce mommy guilt. I hate guilt.
If there was one thing I would change about my life, yelling AT my children would be it. I have a friend who never seems to yell at her kids. (I am sure she does...surely everyone has the same faults that I do behind closed doors.) She always talks in a calm voice, and her kids, amazingly,
Maybe I should try this.
Or maybe I should buy an 8000sqare foot home.
(Inspired by Mama Kat)
11 comments:
Unfortunately I am somewhat of a yeller too. I think my voice matches the size of my house too...and that isn't good!
Great post. Thanks for the smile.
Ha! I love that - I wonder if realtors could use such a thing as a selling point for a home "perfectly matched in size and acoustic capabilities to the typical Mom's yelling powers."
When my boys were young I learned that speaking to them in a calm and soft voice during discipline had more impact than any yelling did. I also used a whistle to call them in when they were outside playing and it also worked great when we were at the beach. Don't get me wrong, I still had moments of yelling, but I too do/did not like the guilt and did not want my kids to think of me as a screeching mom. Besides, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror when you are yelling? Not pretty I tell ya! My nephew once drew a picture of my SIL depicting (in his young perception) what she looked like when she was yelling. Again not pretty. She resembled a grizzly bear! That is when we both discovered the calm voice approach. It is a little bit quieter than my typical every day voice.
~ Tracy
Visiting from Mama Kat's! Thank you for your comment! I followed you back :)
We all yell once in a while or more...as long as you are working on it...you will be fine. I see mothers all the time in stores yelling at their children the whole time. It's sad...they call them nasty names and threaten to beat them. It makes me feel like going over to them and telling them off. But yelling when you are at your limit? Normal.
I'll be back!
well, i have a 5,000 sq. ft. home and still yell. i hate that i do, never thought i would.
like you said, the tension just builds up.
great post :)
No yeller here but I have lived with yellers.
Besides, I live in a condo and if I yelled the neighbors would yell back. hee hee
~NM
You wouldn't yell at your kids if you had a big house like that…houses like those come with those outdated two-way intercom systems.
You could reach your kids in just about any room in the house.
Or. You could just do what I do and start with yelling. No chances, no counting, just yelling. They think it's my normal voice and it doesn't even phase them anymore. I am such an AWESOME mommy:)
my son laughs at me when i try to punish him or yell at him. I am not a firm believer in spanking kids all the time but I will spank him if he gets out of control. So, spanking on occasion seemed to be very effective, but now he just asks for them. I cant threaten him with "do you want a spanking?" because he will tell me "yes mommy". He's 3. Where did he learn this?
From one yeller to another, i have a question. Would you really want to clean an 8000 sq ft home?? Nope. Me neither. :)
If I had an 8,000sq ft home, I could probably afford to just hire someone to do all my yelling for me. That would be nice. - G
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