It happened in the water

There are times when things happen in our lives that cause such terror that no matter what, they will never be erased from your memory.

This was one of these times.

I will call it, "The Time Dad Tried to Drown Me."

As you can imagine some of the details are very vague or have been repressed to some degree. I was really small and I remember a hotel and a swimming pool.

 

I do remember a brown water slide very clearly. It wasn't a big slide. Just the size of your regular, everyday brown water slide. But I remember wanting very much to go down it.

Problem was, I couldn't swim.

I watched as sister after sister went down that chocolate slide. Sherri. Angie. I remember Michelle and Tammy going down it together.

And there I sat. In the shallow end. On the cold steps. All alone. (As alone as one can be with 7 siblings also in the pool.)

 

My dad must have noticed my longing.

He came and got me and together we walked to the source of the ultimate in swimming pleasure: The Slide.

"Now, you hold on to my neck real tight. And I will hold on to you," Dad explained.

Seemed simple enough.

Up we climbed. I sat on him lap. And down we went.

If you have ever been little and tried to hold on to a wet man's neck while crashing into a wall of water you will understand that it is near impossible.

If you have ever been a grown man and tried to hold onto a slippery, wet, squirming child while crashing into a wall of water, you will understand how my dad tried to drown me.

Okay, so technically I slipped out of his arms. But from my perspective, he didn't hold up his end of the bargain...quite literally. Neither did I, but from my perspective, it went like this:

 

HE LET GO!!!

In the deep end.

And I couldn't swim.

Deep down under the water I went. It was an eternity to the surface of the water...an impossible distance given the amount of oxygen I had in my lungs. (Yeah, I know hotel pools are only 6 feet deep, shhhhh. You're ruining the story. Whose side are you on anyway.)

I kicked. I flapped. I believe I screamed.

And then I breathed.

BIG MISTAKE.

Then, just when I thought all was lost, all hope was gone, and I was ready to surrender to a watery grave.... a pair of strong hands grabbed me and brought me to the surface.

Sweet oxygen filled my lungs. I had survived. I was alive!!

 

I turned and looked at my dad with terror in my eyes.

"Wasn't that fun?' he asked. "Do you want to go again?"

The shallow steps never sounded so good.

What's your water story?

Testing 1 2 3

Ahhh the joys of sate-wide testing.

You know you love them. Especially these new ones.

Our newest one is the PARCC. And it is just plain glorious....the best there ever was.  Eight weeks of testing for the high school. Yes, that is 2 months of testing. They spend 3 hours on 7 questions and aren't allowed to read or do anything except sleep on a keyboard when they finish their test. Genius!

Even better is making our elementary kids type timed essays on subjects not discussed in class... because all 3rd graders are proficient at typing. Also awesome is requiring that they show and explain their math work on a computer...because what 3rd grader doesn't know how to make a number line on a computer and then use it to show their work and then explain how they came to that answer....seriously awesome!

Oh yes. I love them!

But what I am looking forward to most at the end of all this testing?

I can finally STOP making sure my kids get a good night sleep and a healthy breakfast each day. It's just so exasperating and wares me out.

They told me to and so I have no choice...I have to...

Wait. Shouldn't I already be doing this?

Like EVERY DAY???

And if I wasn't already doing this, do you think that I will start now simply because it's a testing month (or two)?

What about you?

Do tell if you love testing as much as I do....

All tubes are NOT created equal

Hello all!

We finally had snow! Enough to get a two hour delay but not so much that it wasn't melted by the end of the day. Gotta love NM weather.

Last week, Hubs had to travel for work for 3 days. When he arrived at the hotel, he realized that he hadn't brought any toothpaste. No biggie. He ran to Wal-Mart and grabbed a new tube and a few other things and hurried back to the hotel.

Well, as he got ready for bed, he pulled out his new toothpaste and began brushing his teeth. But something didn't feel right. "Meh," he thought. ('Meh' is deaf for shrugging one's shoulders.)
"Meh," he thought, as he grabbed some water and went to bed.

But as he was brushing his teeth to leave the next morning, he knew something wasn't right. His mouth felt extremely thick and sticky. His lips began sticking to his teeth. "What the...what?" ('What the...what' is deaf for Why are my lips sticking to my teeth!')

He decided to take a closer look.

"Adhesive Gel."

You know that stuff people use to keep their dentures stuck to their gums...yeah...that is what he was using to brush his teeth. Hahahaha.

That's one way to get lock jaw.

A Blue Wal-Mart car cart

It happened in a Wal-Mart parking lot....a full parking lot.

My oldest at the time was about 20 months and he LOVED riding in the carts that look like cars and are super hard to navigate through the store. You know those, right? If not, well, you haven't lived is all I'm saying.

If that's living, then living is overrated. Just one person's opinion.

But in the mind of my son, there was nothing else to live for.....only that very large blue car cart that had for the last several weeks been avoiding him.

But this morning, he was determined that the blue car would be his!

As he begged me to promise that he could have the car, I told him that maybe he should pray that Heavenly Father would help the cart be available when we got there. Yes, I know, sometimes God's answers are no and there was a high chance that the cart wasn't going to be there. But he prayed nonetheless.

As we pulled into the parking lot, my heart sunk because, like I said, the parking lot was FULL. As I put the van in park, I said a little prayer in my heart that there would be a cart so that my son could know for himself that God cared about him, that God had heard his prayer.

We made our way to where you pick up your carts, sitting there on the side was the biggest, most awkward blue car cart every known to man....okay, that's a little exaggerated. I guess a better way of saying it would be: Sitting there on the side was the biggest answer to my son's prayer...his heart's desire...the blue car cart.

Maybe is silly that I remember this. But maybe it isn't. I believe God gives us those tender mercies, those answers to the little things in our lives....at times when what we ask for are not live changing or life or death. But He recognizes our need to know that he is there.

Some may say, "Oh, well. That was just a coincidence." or "You were just lucky." Maybe so. Maybe so. BUT I don't believe that. I know that God heard both our prayers and felt to bless us in this way.

Prayer works, people. I know it does.

And that's that.

Thanks for listening.

Really? Really????

"Do you notice anything different?" I asked, pointing to my head.

You see, I got a haircut.

6 inches. I cut off six inches...of hair...from my head...hence the pointing.

That would be half a foot, people. With my thick hair, that probably weighed more than a pound. That'a a lot of hair.

When swept up it looked like a small dog.

You would have to be deaf to not notice.....

"Hmmm. Uhhhhh.....did you get your hair colored?"

Are you kidding!

Now what.....

They have all left me. Grown up and decided to leave me at home all alone to eat bon-bons and watch soap operas.

Finally!!

Too bad I don't have any bon-bons (Hubs would eat them before I even had a chance) and I am not interested in soaps...have enough drama in my life with a my teenagers.

So after I kicked my kinder to the curb....not literally, sheesh you must think me a monster... I came home and thought to myself,

"Now I have all this time to myself....what am I going to do? I could go through the closets...or go through the garage....or maybe I should do some family history work....what about starting that backyard project."

"But wait!. I don't have to do any of those things RIGHT NOW! I am really tired...like really tired. As in I have woken up everyday this week at 4:50am to help my oldest get of to early EARLY morning seminary and I am totally feeling it."

And so I kicked off my shoes, pulled back the covers and went to sleep....

...for three hours!!!

I am not going to lie. It was GLORIOUS!

What did you do today??

You want how much???

Over $500.

I can do a lot with $500.

....change all four tires on my van.

....feed my family for half a month.

...buy all needed school supplies for all of my 5 children.

...maybe buy a horse. Okay, maybe a donkey. Llama?

Or I could write a check to the hisgh school band booster so my son can be in band.

What the...what??

High school is sooooo expensive!!!