Are you crying???

I think I cry too much.

Do you?

Not do you think I cry too much.

But do YOU cry too much?

Is that even possible?

Not to THINK that you or I cry too much.

But to cry TOO much?

For no apparent reason.

Am I alone here?

You do that too, right?

Keep the Commandments....all of them.

I am a strong believer in the 10 commandments.

I love God. I do not kill. I do not commit adultery. There are no idols I worship and I try really hard not to covet.

And I do not steal. Ever. Not ever. At least not since I was 5 years old.

When I was five years old I really loved candy. I know that most children aren't like that. But I was. And it seemed that the owner of the local store had put the candy right at my eye level at the check-out stand so that I could repeatedly remind my mother of my love for candy.

My mom didn't love my love for candy. She didn't seem to appreciate my constant reminding that I loved it. Evey time I asked, she would tell me no.

"Mom....can I..."
"Nope. "
"But look it's a new kind..."
"No."
Pleeeeeeease..."
"No. No. No."

Well, on this particular day, I decided I was going to take matters into my own hands. I secretly grabbed the Lifesavers and snuck them into my pocket. I was so sneaky. The teller didn't see me. The manager didn't see. But more importantly, my mom didn't see me.

The key to being a good thief is that you don't steal and tell. I was not a good thief. Terrible in fact. The minute I got into the car I tore the thing open. And started to share with everyone.

Then she knew. She knew I had asked for the candy in the store which she had refused to buy. And yet, there I was, in the back of the van, kindly sharing stolen goods with my siblings.

Back into the store we marched. Not only did I have to give the candy back, I had to tell the store manager that I had taken it and that I was so sorry. I was crying. Partly because I was embarrassed and partly because of the freshness of the spank my mom had so kindly given me.

So, although I may struggle not to gossip, and try to keep the Sabbath Day holy, I DO NOT have a problem with stealing things. Ever!

Don't you?

Isn't this how EVERYONE eats birthday cake?

Key Hoarder

Remember the time that I took every key to the van that we own on accident with me to work....

...in the car...

...and you needed the van to drive Kobe to his band concert.

That was so funny, huh?

(....painful silence....)

Too soon isn't it.

How fast is fast?

I hate people who drive the speed limit.

Okay, that's not true. If it were, I would hate my own father, and who hates their own father? Not me. So I guess I hate it when people drive the actual speed limit. It's just plain annoying.

I also hate people who speed.

Also not entirely true. If that were true than I would my own mother, and who hates their own mother? Again, not me. So I guess I hate it when people speed. It's just plain dangerous.

I guess what I am saying is that I love people who only break the law a little. People like me.

Hubs is this kind of person. That's why I married him. Really. It's the only reason I married him.

Okay, that's not entirely true. He also smells really nice most the time.

To me, when I see a posted speed limit of 60mph, it tells me that I can go 65mph without getting pulled over. It's a safe speed. But anyone who passes me is going way to fast and deserves to be pulled over. But if you're going my speed, we're friends.

Hubs married me for my double standard.

Let's hear it for the uni-brow!!

Underneath my forehead
and right above my eyes,
Lies these blondish hairballs,
one on either side. (of my face.)

Some people wear them skinny
some barely even there,
While others are oblivious
To the continuous line of hair (on their face)

We're talking about eyebrows,
In case you hadn't guessed.
And every time I look at mine,
I feel a little stressed.

You see, nobody taught me,
The proper way to tweeze,
The best way to hold your hand'
The most effective way to squeeze.

Am I supposed to wash them?
or pull a certain way?
Is it okay to tweeze on top?
Did you read Micheal Vey?
(Sorry, random thought, but it rhymed...plus a fun read.)

Every time I pull a hair,
I cannot help but sneeze.
Can somebody remind me
why we do this, please?

Who here hates to do it?
Who else here is done?
Lets cease to do the plucking
and make our brows be one.

Let's hear it for the uni-brow!!!

Replaced

I've been replaced.

I left for two nights...TWO nights! and already he has found a new love.

He told me that he spent all day with her; carried her around all day. They were connected at the hip. Specifically, his hip. He even slept with her...as in lying next to him....in the middle of the day...in my bed! Our bed. Mine and his. Not mine and hers.)

Scandal!!!

For 2 whole day I was out of the picture...quite literally.

Lucky for me she isn't as cute as I am. Right? Just look at her.

Skank!


Hooking up with Jen Matlock ABC Thursday.