Have you had it? The talk. No, not the talk about replacing the toilet paper when it runs out. Nor am I talking about the please-don't-wipe-your-boogers-on-your-brother. Though both are very important, those are no brainers.
I'm talking about....you know... the talk about...that....thing? That thing that mommies and daddies do to have children. That talk.
Have you had it? With your children?
What about me? Have I...had the talk?
Why, yes. Yes I have. My children were born having the talk. I have always been one, when it comes to those types of things, have always had an open door policy. (...open door to the conversation...not to the act...just felt I needed to clarify)
So when my kids ask, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" I tell them. "Mommies have eggs that need food. Daddies have the food...etc." I'm not one to call something by a nickname. They know it is sex we are talking about because we have called it sex all along.
The older they get, the more information they get.
Like when Kobe asked, "Mom, what is an ADULT VIDEO store?" Now how can you answer that without being honest and upfront. Do you want your child going in there to find out on their own. I told him exactly what it was.
Our children are exposed....overexposed to so much these days. Sex, pornography, immorality. It's all out there. Why, then, would I send my children out there uneducated. I figure the more they hear from me, the less interested they will be when their friends talk about it. And they will also feel comfortable coming to me for answers to their questions.
I am also really open with my children about the changes and things that will eventually happen to their bodies, that those changes are normal and natural, but that we need to keep those passions and drives in check. "It's normal to get excited when you see a pretty girl. But you need to keep your mind clean and don't let it go any farther than that."
My oldest needed to know what a blow-job (so sorry...I'm not a dirty blogger...I'm not) was so that if a girl asked him if he wanted one, he would know to say NO. How can I expect my children to remain virtuous and chaste if they don't know what that means exactly?
My point? If you haven't had the sex talk....you should. Your kids will thank you....later.
Much later.
Any questions???
8 comments:
I've had bits and pieces with my girls, undoing my mother-in-laws telling them about "baby seeds". Um, no. We've always called body parts what they are, not nicknames. We started talking about periods early but have yet to have the full-on "talk". My 11 yr old and I have gotten farther into it and I certainly know I need to give it all to her now before some backwards tween tells her nonsense like my friends (and mother!) did to me like hickeys give you neck cancer.
You know what I think my issue with just laying it all out is (because I have no issue talking about sex, informing them, making sure they know facts)? I think they'll ask if I still have sex and well JUST GO BE A CHILD AGAIN.
Much Much Later...
Also always had the talks from when they were very young (age appropriate of course)
And with so much in the media (thank you very much you stupid politicians) and on commercials (Do I really have to explain ED in the middle of the super bowl?) I think NOT discussing it is actually a dis service to your kids. It also opens the conversation for other things too... Oldest was laughing that Tony and I were going on a date because we were already married. I explained that it was really important that we have alone time together to appreciate our marriage... he thought I was talking about sex. And of course that led into talking about how a marriage based only on sex wasn't good either.
I don't think my parents ever had the "talk" with us when we were growing up. We learned everything from Sex Ed at a Catholic school (quite an interesting experience on its own too). Probably why I'm not quite ready to talk about the birds and the bees with E just yet. As my husband says "We'll deal with it when the time comes" :)
I am very honest with my girls about anything that they are curious about. We had the "talk" a few months ago and when I asked if they had any questions, my oldest daughter thought for a minute and said, "Um, why....would anyone ever want to do that." LOL. That led to a deeper conversation.
My mom always answered all my questions frankly, and I did the same with my kids.
I always thought it was odd that I was the one who talked to my boys and not my husband. They would ask me the questions. Occasionally, I would refer them over to him when the questions got too specific, explaining that I didn't have the equipment and could not give them an informed response.
;)
this topic always makes me squirm...esp since we have a 16, 13 and 11 yr old and we keep having new babies 'pop' up....so yes they know how they get here and it totally grosses them out that we keep you know...'making babies'
the talk that always makes me squirm more....is the one with the boys...(can i talk about this here?) you know where you might wake up with an unknown substance on you etc..deep sigh...
girls are easier!
I wonder if my daughter-in-law would get ticked at me if I forwarded this post?
Great information!
I like the way you parent.
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