"You are married to a deaf man?" they ask.
"Why yes. Yes I am," I kindly respond.
"Wow!".......long, thoughtful pause.... "That's gotta be nice. I bet you guys never fight, right?" they ask.
"Ummmmm....uhhhhhhhh....ehhhhhhh....hmmmmmm....Right. About that..."
Sometimes I believe people think that it takes an extremely charitable person to marry someone who is deaf. And that this same person is so kind that surely they would never disagree with, argue with, or blow-up with said spouse.
I am here to tell you, I am not that person. I married Hubs because he is amazing. I didn't feel sorry for him. I knew that things would be different than most marriages. But I didn't marry him out of the goodness of my heart. I married him because I loved him with all of it.
Secondly, I have zero problem disagreeing, arguing, or blowing-up from time to time. I'm not necessarily proud of it, and try to avoid it when it is healthy to do so, but it happens.
I believe any time you have two people who can communicate with each other living under one roof for an extended period of time, there are going to be some disagreements. It's just the nature of things.
Then add in two people coming from two different cultures, and that just increases the chances of said conflicts. Nature of the beast, I guess. Not me, the relationship.
You would think that our arguments were quiet and calm, seeing that sign language doesn't require voices. But this is not always the case. You see, we can look away and the conversation is over. But if the other one doesn't want it to be over, we have to get creative.
Like pounding on things to make vibrations: table, wall, floor. Or Throwing things....not at each other, but passed their line of sight. Flashing lights...rapidly.
And I bet you didn't know you can yell in sign language. Yup. The signs are big, they are fast, and depending on what you are signing, you can hurt yourself. Trust me, I know this.
So, do we fight? Yes...yes we do.
I'm a good person. Just not that good.
5 comments:
I have 2 cousins who are deaf mute, trust me I KNOW the difference between regular conversation and an argument with them..
I took these awesome sign language classes when I was in my 20's. The teacher was deaf so we had to learn quickly! She would talk/sign about those things her daughter was always there to help us a long when it came to stories. I really miss those classes!
I'm sorry. I just had visions of you being wheeled into the ER with shoulder injuries from signing too loudly.
WHAT????
Holy heck...
Although, sometimes I'll admit, it would be nice to not hear the mumbling under his breath...
Oh I'm sure I would give myself a black eye when I get good and mad!
I'd sort of like to be a spectator at one of these blow-ups.
=)
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