I know that this is going to come as a shock to many of you....but Hubs is not me. (Gasp! Horror!)
Knowing me is not knowing him.
Don't get me wrong. We have things in common. We both are short-ish people. We both like sports. We both liked watching Lost...up until the series finale...lame. We both like me. See, lots in common.
But I don't like to mountain bike and run into bears. Nope. I don't like to drink cheyenne pepper when I am sick...or not sick for that matter. I don't think boxing is a sport. I hate cantelope. Mafia Wars has zero pull for me.
Likewise, he doesn't like to Zumba. He hates onions. He doesn't like sleeping with a fan on and flower gardens do nothing for him.
See, not the same person.
But the only way you can really know that for yourself is to get to know him. Without me. This can be hard and quite intimidating when you can't communicate with him.
Hubs and I have been really blessed with people in our lives who have been willing to learn ASL. My family has been great. Some of them have taken classes. Others have learned just by hanging out with us. We have a niece who has substantial hearing loss and that has added an extra motivation for them to learn. Most everyone in my family has learned to sign to some degree.
We have friends who have and who are now learning how to sign. Others are willing to sit down with him and write or text back and forth. It is a bit time consuming, and yet, they see the benifit. He goes out with friends for ice cream or playing football or shooting. (Oh, another thing I hate. Guns.)
He really is a great guy. One of the nicest you will ever meet. But you will only really know this by getting to know him.
Because knowing me...as fun as that is... is not knowing him.
9 comments:
how do you sleep then? i need a fan. (odd that is the first then i thought of when reading)
The last episode of Lost was so lame...totally let me down.
I LOVE to zumba too but don't try to turn a fan on me while I'm sleeping. Can't do it.
I do not have anything profound to say, but I just wanted you to know that this was a great post. Having known quite a few deaf couples or half n half couples...this is more profound than people will know...
I'm so glad your family and friends take the time and are willing to learn to sign. Just a handful of signs to start makes all the difference. When I dated Jim for 5 yrs, I felt like my family never REALLY got to know him. (and 5 yrs. would have been plenty of time to learn, you would think!) He was so kind and funny. My best friend took the time to learn to sign so she could be included in conversations and it meant more to me than she ever knew.
Well I hate to be blunt but anyone who would think that knowing you is knowing him is just a complete idiot.
Especially when we all know y'all have different parts and stuff (did I just say that? Oh hell!).
This is such a great post :) I don't think anyone should ever assume that knowing one spouse automatically means that you know the other because anyone who has been in a relationship can tell you how *not* true that is. I would love to meet your hubs one day and text him. He sounds like an interesting person. Besides, I'm sure he's got loads of stories about you to tell too :)
Bekki Russell just pointed out your blog to me, and you are a hoot and a half. I knew you were funn,y but now I have a fun blog to follow. :-) -- Windy from AZ
Oh and p.s. your kids are so adorable in prose. :-)
I always love these posts, and I like the idea that so many people in his and your life are learning sign language.
The texting idea is a good one, too. I'd text with him in a second!
=)
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